High School Maturity: Only in Amherst

February 17, 2008 5:47 PM
I respectfully would like to ask you to consider everything with an open mind and keep sharing your ideas, but not shoving them down the throats of all the members of our community. I am glad you have opinions you can stand behind, but they are yours and not mine. If I don't want to live under your rules, regulations and values than I shouldn't have to. I have been told (though I cannot confirm this to be a truth, which is why I ask you) that you are responsible for the restrictions on all the students wishing to attend the performance of the Vagina Monologues. If this is indeed true you have done precisely this, then I am afraid that your cause is even more forlorn than I thought.

I hope you will consider my words,
The Student Liberator

P.S. I understand that you have a daughter that will possibly be attending ARHS in the next few years. I hope for her sake that you have disbanded this blog or in the very least become more composed in your opposition of the majority of people who are residents of Amherst and its surrounding towns. I say this because if you do not, your widespread unpopularity will be passed directly to your daughter (which I could only hope, but not guarantee will remain non-violent and strictly be limited to complete abhorrence). Even if your daughter shares no common ground with you, the name you have made for your self will surely trickle down to her.

February 17, 2008 7:23 PM

Well, since you sound like a 17-year-old pimple faced twit I'm not worried about your implied threat to my daughter. Because even now at age 6--about to test for her Yellow Belt--she could probably kick your sorry, scrawny ass.

Amherst is the ONLY public school in Massachusetts (probably the nation) to perform ‘The Vagina Monologues’ ostensibly because it reduces “violence against women” and yet you—obviously an insider—threaten my young daughter? Hmmm.

Just for the record: (and blogs are Public Records) if you EVER--even remotely--threaten my daughter again, I WILL hunt you down. Promise!


(For his entire rambling manifesto see comments 2/15 "and so it begins" upload)

A tale told by an idiot...

You Say Cluster-bomb she says C-word

full of sound and fury, signifying nothing

So they only sold 500 tickets? And only 100 to High School Kids? Yikes! Four years ago it sold out with all 800 tickets sold.

Hmmmm. I guess that “lack of controversy” hurt them at the box office. Sorry about that kiddies, I’ll try harder next year, errrr, actually--I’m not done with this year.

Republican coverage, finally

Blast From The Past

And so it ends...

UPDATE: 8:45 PM
It’s over. That was quick. Thank God. Kind of like Marie Antoinette and the head-rolling thing. Naturally who do I see as I shoot my final shot but His Lordship Select Board Chair Gerry Weiss and his lovely wife Jennifer. Only reaffirms my theory that this thing is nothing but PC at its worst.

UPDATE: 10:30 PM
Ch. 3 TV picked up the story...sort of. Screwed up about 'VM" being on Broadway (never was), and that 'Urinetown' was a controversy at ARHS a year later (it was two or three years later and not controversial in the least). That's TV for ya.
Camerafolks are expensive

FINAL UPDATE: 11:15 PM
Well I have been doing this blog since March 17’th (St. Patty’s Day) almost a year, and my previous high for daily hits (201) was May 1’st the day the Override went down to defeat. As of now, 45 minutes before midnight, we’re at 215.

So today a few new folks showed up. Please keep in mind: I never quit, I never surrender. This is far from over. There's a “nuclear option”. Stay tuned.

And so it begins...

6:50 PM
They're lining up as though it were a Broadway premiere. Out front is a police officer (1 0f 2) at $40 or so an hour, Dave Keenan's brother Mark (a campus monitor--whatever the hell that is) and High School Principal Mark Jackson at 90-K per year asking folks if they have tickets. Gee, Mark couldn't you find a pimple-faced 17-year-old to do that for minimum wage?

The Battle Heats Up

UPDATE: 11:30 AM
Funny as Hell. Just went to Gazettenet and noticed an article about 'VM' and the restrictions over tonight's performance including breathalyzer. Both the kiddies and some of their irresponsible, idiot parents are whining.

The hilarious part is my ad posted above is the only ad to appear on the article page (but apparently they rotate them). And thus far it is the "most emailed article" and "most popular". Must be my blog.

UPDATE: 2:15 PM
Just talked to Amherst PD and yes there will be two police officers present tonight for security and no they did not do a bomb sweep (not that they have anything to fear from me....well, physically that is). And the Regional Schools are even paying for the two officers. Four years ago they had four (and only paid for two) and back then they also performed a bomb sweep a few hours before production.

UPDATE: 4:30 PM
My friend Paolo over at our Sister City the 'Northamptonist' just sent me the link to last night's Letterman take on the Catastrophic Cunt episode on 'The Today Show'. Freaken Letterman can't even bring himself to use the word "Vagina!" Hilarious! Damn, we should invite him to tonight's performance.
Letterman's top ten

Day of Destruction

In a message dated 2/15/08 6:48:31 AM, xxxxx writes to JacksonM@ARPS.org:

The C-word is inappropriate in any context. The responsible thing to do would be to replace it with any other benign word, it will not hinder the performance, it just won't perpetuate a very derogatory word. If I were Principal, and I heard this word mentioned in the hallway, that child would be suspended, or if someone referred to my wife, or daughter,or friend in that context, I would have an issue with that.

Words matter sir.


In a message dated 2/15/08 8:35:24 AM, hochmanj@ARPS.ORG writes:

Mr. Xxxxxx

I have been receiving your emails but thought you should hear from Mr. Jackson, so I forwarded your email to him. Words do matter and as you note, so does context. This is not a hallway or walking through the mall. This is a performance and those participating and those attending know its context and made a choice to participate - with their parents permission.

Jere Hochman


In a message dated 2/15/08 8:59:52 AM, Amherst AC writes to hochmanj@ARPS.org:

I believe Jane Fonda used the word in "context" yesterday and all Hell broke lose. Let's just say you did have the balls to simply omit "Reclaiming Cunt" Monologue (ironic that it would now show courage NOT to do something) do you really think Ms. Ensler--after the fiasco yesterday on 'The Today Show' --would file suit?

Larry

UPDATE: 9:30 AM. Just noticed AOL has Fonda's use of the "slur" as the #1 of Top Five Video Clips. I still remember four years ago when The Today Show gave Enlser and the little 17-year-old ARHS girl 8 minutes of live fawning attention and I got 11 taped seconds. Yeah, fair and balanced they are.

Only on 'The Today Show'

(1:30 PM) I could be crass and call Hanoi Jane a clueless cu*t...but I refuse to sink to her or Ensler’s level--especially on Valentine’s Day. My buddy had the perfect word for Fonda, Ensler and 'VM': Dreadful!

Jane Fonda C-word bomb

UPDATE 2:00 PM
So are Amherst School officials going to apologize after Friday night?

Boneheads Apologize

UPDATE: 11:40 PM
Well Crusty finally went cyber and here is their editorial drival

The Editor Has No Clothes

Eve of Destruction

(11:40 AM) Yeah, between this morning's clueless Gazette column (can't post the link because they are so money grubbing you need to subscribe) by Principal Jackson--the second pro 'Vagina Monologues' Op/Ed piece this week, and the editorial in the venereal—I mean venerable--Amherst Bulletin today (can post that, but they are so crusty it may not go cyber until sundown) and with my wife of 25 years half-a-world away today (V also stands for Valentine's Day) I'm really not in a great freaken mood. So I'll stew for a while, go on a bike ride and post later. Grrrrrrrrrr

12:10 PM. HA! Just figured out the comments page is free (and if you hit the "return to story" button just above "Readers Comments" it should allow you access to his drivel):
http://www.dailyhampshiregazette.com/storyComments.cfm?id_no=80491

The Empress (Ms. Ensler) has no clothes

I call it cunt. I’ve reclaimed it, “cunt.” I really like it. “Cunt.” Listen to it. “Cunt.” C C, Ca Ca. Cavern, cackle, clit, cute, come—closed c—closed inside, inside ca—then u—then cu—then curvy inviting sharkskin u—uniform, under, up, urge, ugh, ugh, u—then n then cun—snug letters fitting perfectly together—n—nest, now, nexus, nice, nice, always depth, always round in uppercase, cun, cun—a jagged wicked electrical pulse—n (high pitched noise) then soft n—warm n—cun, cun, then t—then sharp certain tangy t—texture, take, tent, tight, tantalizing, tensing, taste, tendrils, time, tactile, tell me, tell me, “Cunt, cunt,”say it, tell me “Cunt.” “Cunt.”

And of course the “actress” at the climax leaps to her feet and strikes a defiant but exuberant pose with both arms uplifted like Mary Lou Retton after sticking her final dismount and knowing—even before the gymnastic judges call—that she had just performed a perfect routine to win an Olympic Gold Medal.

Somehow I think Ms. Retton worked a lot harder for her achievement.

Amherst Bulletin talkback

UPDATE: Rainy, miserable Wednesday late morning: This email says it all (to the correct people as well):

To: hochmanj@arps.org; elbrighty@amherst.edu; amherstac@aol.com
Sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2008 7:38 pm
Subject: V-Monologue

Hi:

It is absolutely ludicrous that you would promote this performance to the extent that you have. The C-word, in my vocabulary, and many others, has long been eliminated as a word that is spoken, our thought. It is so far removed from many minds. Their is no benefit to anyone to introduce this word at this performance. It is derogatory, and I don't see the educational value. I would hope that this word is not be spoken at your high school performance. I applaud Mr. kelley for his adamant defiance.

David F. Farnham

A tale of two V's

The Vagina Monologues 1998
‘The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could’
Memory: Thirteen years old:

“Now people thought that it was a kind of rape. I was only thirteen and she was twenty-four. Well, I say, if it was a rape, it was a good rape then, a rape that turned my sorry-ass coochi snorcher into a kind of heaven.”

The Vagina Monologues 2001
‘The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could’
Memory: Sixteen years old:

“I realize later she was my surprising, unexpected, politically incorrect salvation. She transformed my sorry-ass coochi snorcher into a kind of heaven.”

Still squeemish atter all these years.

Monday (2:00PM)
So somewhat true to form the Amherst Bulletin about an hour ago erased, censored, spiked ALL the comments posted to the Front Page story about Vagina Monologues at Amherst Regional High School.

One of those comments simply a direct, unedited, rendering of the entire "Reclaiming C*nt" Monologue (all one paragraph) that a teen-aged girl will publicly perform this coming Friday on school property at taxpayer expense. Hmmmm....

Reclaiming Dignity

The venerable Amherst Bulletin has gotten over their squeamishness about using “Vagina” in a headline. No BIG deal, as I have repeatedly stated I have no problem at all with THAT word.

Vagina-less Headline

But just to test my crusty friends in the journalistic bricks and mortar world (at least their cyber counterpart) I left a comment on the story almost as soon as it went cyber, late Thursday. Ummm…No I will not now repeat the words as I consider this blog rated PG.

Let’s just say they were disgusting hateful “fighting words” including the particular one (C-word rhythms with bunt) that I am so agitated about.

The response lasted about 14 hours and after one clueless Amherst woman posted a complaint about my “profanity,” the comment disappeared.

Last night I reposted “Reclaiming C#nt” Monologue in its one paragraph entirety. Let’s see if the Amherst Bulletin can handle that. And if not, makes you wonder why they would give this “art” such fawning Front Page exposure.

Vagina Headline

And the winners are...

So for those of you eagerly wondering who won the great downhill “Cardboard Box Race” out at my favorite White Elephant, Black Hole, Money Pit—the municipally owned Cherry Hill Gold Course (oops, I mean Golf) on Saturday, check out the video.

The Kelley clan--Kira and Larry--smoked the competition (and an innocent young bystander too close to the Finish Line), including peacenik Select Board Chair, His Lordship Gerry Weiss and Town Manager Larry Shaffer’s stand in (or I should say sit in).



Weiss's peacemobile encountered a lot of drag. And why do I just know that if this event took place on December 8'th, 1941 we would have seen the same Spin.


Since it all happened so fast I had not realized until this morning (Monday) from the photo Cinda Jones just emailed that we were in last place coming out of the shute. But it ain't over until the Fat Lady sings. And about 10 seconds later they were eating our snow.

Just another Wimp Vagina Warrior

So the crusty Gazette Thursday morning published an Op/Ed piece from Men’s Resource Center Director (you know the Old Boys who retreat to the woods, huddle around a campfire, beating drums and crying about how Daddy never loved them) Rob Okun extolling the virtues (irony intended) of minors performing ‘The Vagina Monologues’, reprising their 2004 ignominy as the only High School in the nation to allow adolescents to revel in ‘R’ rated material.

Well, at least this time Mr. Okun didn’t criticize me by name as he did in 2004 in an NPR commentary: “Mr. Kelley's discomfort with the "C-word"--"I can't say it out loud," he told a school committee meeting last month--symbolizes men's discomfort with admitting how little we know about the dangerous world our mothers and daughters, wives and partners, sisters and nieces live in: a world where sexual harassment and sexual assault are commonplace.

Of course back then Mr. Okun, who appeared at the first School Committee meeting in 2004 to support the production, never managed to spit out the C-word. And thus far, I have not seen or heard Superintendent Hochman or Principal Jackson use it either.

And Mr. Okun never then or now explains how a Monologue where an adult serves a minor alcohol and then has sex with them leads to a decrease in domestic abuse. In this state, that IS domestic abuse.

Okun also fails to disclose and the Gazette editor failed to catch the conflict because his baby--‘The Men’s Resource Center’--is one of the do-gooder organizations that will receive a significant monetary contribution from this pernicious performance.

Only In The Happy Valley

Naturally Amherst was what my Professor wife calls a statistical outlier in the primary election by supporting Mr. Obama so overwhelmingly compared to winner (by a comfortable margin) Mrs. Clinton, with Northampton—also not surprising—a fairly close second.

Interestingly in both liberal enclaves McCain beat Romney handily. Democratic ballots cast in both municipalities outnumbered Republicans by almost 10-1.

So like the Marine withdrawal from the Chosin Reservoir, heavily outnumbered doesn’t mean outclassed.

Deja Vu all over again

Clinton 1,954, Obama 4,139 all others 128

In 1988 when almost every municipality in Massachusetts went with Mike Dukakis Amherst supported Jesse Jackson; so I guess it should come as no surprise that Obama beats Clinton by a 2-1 margin here in the People’s Republic, while Clinton wins Massachusetts--dubbed by the Republican winner Mitt Romney as “the most liberal state in the nation”. So if that's true, I wonder what that makes Amherst?

The People’s Republic Indeed

The almost impossible job of constructing new dwellings, what with current zoning/permitting in place, NIMBY’s just waiting to pounce, and the price of land in an almost built-out Amherst, will only worsen if everybody’s favorite do-gooder Vince O’Connor convinces fellow Comrades at Town Meeting come Spring.

Yesterday he filed a Zoning Petition Article (only needs ten signatures) that would require any new residential development to “provide affordable housing units,” and if it results in five or more would be “referred to the LSSE Director (recreation department) and Commission of the Town of Amherst for their recommendations regarding the nature, extent and maintenance requirements of such on-site recreational facilities as would be consistent with national or regional standards.”

Of course the developer can opt out of providing on-cite recreation by “the payment into a Town of Amherst Recreational Capital Fund of a $5,000 per unit development impact fee.” Hell, I would give prospective new homeowners a deal at the Amherst Athletic Club.

Supply and demand is the simplest rule in market economy. High demand, low supply equals inflated prices. Low demand, high supply equals bargain prices. Anytime you restrict supply (ironically by requiring “affordable” units) or drive up the overhead cost ($5,000 per unit recreation tax) you strangle supply.

And that’s precisely what the Treehuggers want (couldn’t help but notice Select man Rob Kusner signed the petition.)

Is Umass burning?

No, as of 10:45 PM things on campus--post Super Bowl--seem to be under control. Police have closed off Massachusetts Avenue leading down to Southwest High-rise dorms (scene of the previous worst Red Sox riots) and the side roads leading up to Southwest from University Drive. A state police helicopter hovers high overhead.

UPDATE: 5:45 AM. Well, mostly stayed under control:
7 arrested, group of 500 broken up , a ton of tax dollars consumed.

Get em' next year.

The Amherst Select board (known every else in the liberal state of Massachusetts as the “Board of Selectmen”) had another one of those emergency meetings Saturday to discuss, yet again, THE BUDGET.

His Lordship, Selectman Chair Gerry Weiss opened with a rambling diatribe attributing the current budget woes to that malevolent actor/Republican President Ronald Reagan. (You know, the guy who brought down the “Evil Empire”).

Seems His Lordship’s only concern in our upcoming $60+ MILLION operation budget is the overall one-tenth-of-one-percent $67,000 that Amherst (taxpayers) donates to private charities. And yes, we are the ONLY municipality in the state that does so.

Of course the good (Front Page) news is that the Property Tax Override is probably toast this year.

With current Town Reserves at $4.2 million and another $1 million in the Amherst Regional High School slush fund, it looks like the players will cut capital spending this coming year by almost $400,000 (about 10%) and take $500,000 from the Town Reserves to help cover most of the Elementary Schools $1.3 million gap

The Regional High School will simply dip into their ($1 million) reserves to cover the $300,000 shortfall. Or maybe they will schedule extra showings of ‘The Vagina Monologues’ to cover the difference.

Thus, hard-pressed taxpayers are safe for another year…barely.

Vagina update.

So Principal Mark Jackson showed up coffee in hand early yesterday morning. He’s a lot bigger than I remember.

We chatted for over a half-hour, spending a moment or two on budget issues and then got right down (and dirty) to Vaginas. He mentioned how he had been hired by Amherst but not yet installed when the first controversy was at its peak four years ago.

His wife even called him to the television to watch ‘The Today Show” when they gave it eight minutes of live coverage with Eve Ensler herself appearing with the little 17-year-old from Amherst Regional High School.

I, of course only got 11 seconds of that—you know, good old “fair and balanced” you expect from a show that’s more entertainment than news.

I could tell Jackson is already worn out from this issue, and will probably never repeat the mistake for as long as he’s principal at Amherst. But with 4 of 6 principals in the school system on the outs, hard to say how long he will last.

Then of course, some other rookie will assume command and some young lady will want to do the Monologue where you get to yell the C-word at the top of your lungs--as though it’s something to be proud of.

And so it goes…

Routine returns?

Former blogger and forever friend Izzy Lyman once warned me about installing a sitemeter because you become "obsessive" about visitors.

Over the last few days I could not help but notice many of them coming from the Chicago area via a Goggle search for "Jenny Kim," sometimes adding "Amherst College" oftentimes THAT term...the one that makes the word death redundant.

I had noted Amherst College was flying their vibrant, well-lit American flag at the top of Johnson Chapel overlooking downtown Amherst in a position of mourning to remember and honor Jenny Kim, a 22-year senior with a prosperous life awaiting suddenly, stunningly, by her own dominant hand, gone.

Growing up in Amherst I can remember when Umass Southwest High-rise dorms were once rolling open fields. And it wasn't long after they first scraped the sky before a troubled youth used the top floor of one or the other as a platform for certain death.

After a half-dozen fatalities Umass, finally, instituted security measures and the regrettable ritual stopped--or at least took on a different form.

I feel bad for Jenny; I feel bad for her friends and family; and I feel bad for invoking her name over this medium where anyone can instantly arrive from anywhere in the world after typing her name.

Hopefully flying the American flag at half-staff high over Amherst College brought them some comfort; if indeed, anything can bring comfort to those she left behind.

On THAT awful day, as dusk descended over a forever-changed New York City, three tired firefighters desperately looking for fallen comrades break to hoist a borrowed American flag over the debris. The photo captured and inspired our national resolve and I, for one, took some comfort there.

So for those of you who arrive here now looking for information about Jenny Kim, I'm sorry; I did not know her in her life, and I'm saddened that I only became aware of her in death.

http://www.amherst.edu/memoriam/kim.html

Many rivers to cross

So today is a milestone…of sorts: my 53’rd birthday and the Amherst Athletic Club’s 26’th. Thus, I have been running a small business--or I should say it has been running me--for almost exactly half my life.

What my wife (a co-founder who is gainfully employed elsewhere as an Entrepreneurship Professor but still teaches Karate, Spin, Aerobics, does the bookkeeping, etc--all for no pay) calls a “lifestyle business.”

The “business” opened 1/30/82 on my 27’th birthday. It was either that or suicide. Ten years earlier, fat and introverted, I fell in love with karate at the crossroads age of 17.

My single minded series of goals were nothing if not ambitious: to become a Black Belt by age 19 (usually takes 4 years), attain a Regional Ranking in Sport Karate by age 21, become Nationally Ranked by age 23 and, finally, #1 in the nation at age 26.

My first instructor said to me that an average person has one chance in 10,000 of even making Black Belt but my chances were ten times worse. Grrrrrr.

I attained the first three goals ahead of schedule (Black belt at 18.5, six times ranked #1 in New England and four times ranked Top Ten in the nation), but as 1982 dawned I knew that I was going to fall just short of the last goal. I figured I would move up only one from my #5 ranking, but ended up at #3, just ahead of archrival Billy Blanks (pre Tae Bo days) at #4.

His manager was so angry she threatened to suit Karate Illustrated the magazine in charge of ratings. Billy had accumulated way more rating points than I by winning small local events against nobody’s but I had beaten him in Florida at an A-rated event where I took my one and only Grand Championship.

Since my goal had not technically failed until my birthday, and I did not want to be suicidal on that day, I decided to distract myself by opening a Karate School at the Mt. Farms Mall in Hadley, otherwise known as the “Dead Mall”.

We moved to The People’s Republic of Amherst a year later; and the rest as they say is history…ongoing.


http://www.metacafe.com/watch/124878/billy_blanks_tae_bo_fight/

"Well, isn't that Special?"

So a battered and beaten Select Board Chair, his Lordship Gerry Weiss, threw in the towel late last night on calling a Special Town Meeting to discuss our budget plight (or I should say the Schools) in February, opting instead for a “public forum.”

Score one for transparency.

The Budget Coordinating Group—the ultimate insiders—should simply disband, as average taxpayers will never take them or their “recommendations” seriously again.

(“Could it be…SATAN?")

High Noon Town Hall Budget Meeting

After the Donnybrook on Wednesday night at the Special Select Board meeting where the vote was 2-2 to run to Town Meeting on advice about the upcoming budget (think Override) today the Budget Coordinating Group (BCG) is meeting to take a second bite at the apple.

When your mix includes the Town Manager, Superintendent of the Schools, (two highestpaid employees in town) the chairs of both Regional Schools and Amherst Schools you can pretty much get as many bites as you please.

12:30 PM
Kusner is 25 minutes late because he’s been upstairs helping to draft the warrant article for a Special Town Meeting. Kinda gives you a hint as to how he will vote tonight (or would have voted on Wednesday night) at the Select board meeting to call the Special Town Meeting (only requires a majority vote)

12: 35 PM
Andy Churchill, Amherst School Committee chair asks what happened at the Wednesday evening Select board meeting. Weiss says the other two Select persons who voted NO had “made up their minds” prior to the meeting, so there was “no negotiation.”

Churchill I want the entire town to know about “the problem” and to get their input. It would be nice if we had a clear majority of the SB (at least 4).

12:43 PM
Kusner is pushing for the 3% Community Preservation Act tax (that needs Town Meeting approval to get on the April 1’st election) and nobody else seems interested--knowing it will be a suicide bomber for the Override.

12:50 PM
Town Manager: We could also do a public budget forum instead of Special Town Meeting. Weiss: getting sense of Town Meeting is different from informing the public. Churchill: Forum attracts small group of people (insiders). Special Town Meeting gets more attention and shows we’re serious. Molly Turner (Library). Special Town Meeting “looks like a set up for the Override.” Town people have sent the message they cannot afford a tax increase. Churchill: needs to be done now in order to include the potential for an Override on April 1‘st “preserves our options.”

1:05 PM
Brighty: Have BCG run an informational meeting for Town Meeting members (but not an official Special Town Meeting) in late February.

Assistant Town Manager John Musante: Will a Special Town Meeting generate heat or light? If it’s going to confuse people then “why do it?”

1:17 PM

Kusner to Superintendent Hochman: Are you going to be asking the Select board to place an Override on the ballot for the Schools?
School Committee folks answer for him (but not very directly).

Weiss: what do I say to Select board tonight? Town Meeting or forum?

1:24 PM (final one)
Hochman: Do we want to get info out to public? How do we get input in? What’s the Select board’s solution?

No clear call as to whether they will ask the Select board for the Special Town Meeting or not (no wonder the May 1 Override failed). The item is on the Select Board agenda at 9:15 tonight.

Oh say can you see...

Whenever I spy the American flag at half-staff I worry something extraordinary has tragically occurred, as in 9/11 or the Virginia Tech Campus massacre, or an X-president has died.

But with Amherst College, you never know. As of this evening their prominently placed illuminated flag (high on a hill overlooking the downtown) has been in mourning for almost a week, probably for Jenny Kim a 22-year-old senior who took her own life.

According to flag protocol only the Governor of our state or President of the United States can order the American flag to half-staff. It’s like “crying wolf”, because if Old Glory is routinely down to half-staff, you no longer notice.

I too am guilty of symbolic flag abuse as a noble gesture. In mid-May, 1994 when Jackie Kennedy Onassis succumbed to cancer about a month after Richard Nixon died, and President Clinton enforced flag protocol for President Nixon I thought “that lying SOB gets the flag down, but because Jackie was never officially anything (besides a President’s wife who carried our nation thru the darkest hours of my childhood) she’s ignored?”

So I called Amherst Town Manager Barry Del Castilho who was, naturally, on vacation, and got Nancy Maglione the Finance Director who was “acting Town Manager”, and earnestly requested the Amherst flag in town center go to half-staff to honor Jackie.

Ms. Maglione at first balked: “The flag is scheduled to be down for Nixon until this evening, so if we keep it lowered for one extra day nobody will even notice,” she replied.

“I will, and so will you!” I responded.

The next day the flag stayed down…and surprisingly some folks noticed. When one or two called Town Hall to enquire they were told it was down an extra day to honor Jackie Kennedy Onassis.

A conservative local radio jock complained most vociferously about the breech of flag protocol. “What an ass”, I thought.

The sun also rises

Even in Amherst.

Ground Control to Principal Jackson

So, it’s been a week. No sign of Mr. Jackson. Either the space aliens got him or he called up that Override PR flak from Unicom ARC for a consultation and was advised to never meet with the enemy. Oh, well.

Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:18:10 -0500
From:"Mark Jackson" To:"larry kelley"
Subject:Re: VAGINAS! Vaginas, VA GI NAS

Larry:

Rather than spar, I'd rather meet and talk. Can I buy you coffee?

Mark

Mark Jackson, Principal
Amherst Regional High School
21 Mattoon St.
Amherst, MA 01002
W: 413-362-1701
F: 413-549-9704
jacksonmk@arps.org

Date: Sat, 19 Jan 2008 05:07:19 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Re: VAGINAS! Vaginas, VA GI NAS
To: "Mark Jackson" From:"larry kelley"

Mark,

No offense to Dr. King but I'm open on Monday (1/21). First
coffee is at 5:35 am and second one around 9:00 am.

Larry

LIve From Amherst!

(6:35 PM. Scroll down for updates) Well, okay almost live. Four or five minute delay for spell check (and Blogger does not allow live text messaging).

First impression: lousy turnout. As in 8 people in the audience—all of them insiders. Only one reporter.

His Lordship Gerry Weiss opens. Talks a lot but doesn't say much.

Ms Awad protests the idea of a Special Town Meeting. We are abdicating are responsibility. “There are alternatives”. She also talks about how the BCG seemed overly interested in the Override. Move the start date of Town Meeting to early April. Not an appropriate use of Town Meeting.

UPDATE: (6:50 PM)
Ms. Greeney (citing a survey of 90 people): Goes after LSSE( Recreation Department). Library branches in No and So Amherst.

New Town Meeting members coming in on April 1, so why get opinion in February from some who may not be around to vote on the budget in the Spring. Not enough information available (state aid) for this early a Town Meeting.

Reads statement from a survey responder who also takes LSSE to task. Keep it simple: summer pool, groomed playing fields but not the bloated empire they have become (Tango lessons anyone?)

6:58 PM

Ms. Brewer: To hell with surveys. Not interested in talking about an Override (her nose is starting to grow). At this point not Pro Override (her nose is getting bigger). Not a huge turnover in Town Meeting, so February folks will still be around this Spring to vote on the budget.


Andy Steinberg (Finance Committee and BCG member): Town Meeting stands in for the public. Special Town Meeting on budget would be helpful.

Brian Morton (Finance Committee and BCG member): The idea for this Special Town Meeting is not just the BCG. Some Town Meeting member on a list serve came up with it (damn internet). Any member of the general public can speak at Town Meeting (yeah, but they don't).

7:05 PM

Vote is 2-2 . It fails!. Weiss, Brewer "yes"; Greeney, Awad "No". Rob Kusner was not present (and he most certainly would have voted Yes). But Weiss, obviously a sore loser, is talking about bringing it up again this Monday when Mr. Kusner is around.

7:25 PM (I'm home now). As the scant crowd dispersed I asked Select Board Chair Weiss if he knew Rob Kusner would not be present tonight (I had assumed Kusner would rush in at the last minute, bike helmet in hand, to cast the deciding vote). And he said "Yes". I then said something about wasting folks time as even the flagpole in front of Town Hall knew Awad and Greeney were going to vote NO and there are only five Select board members and you need a majority vote for something to pass. Great leadership there your Lordship.

The Vagina Override...Fore!

(6:45 am) So apparently LifefromMA, my new buddy on Masslive/Amherst forum and I have more in common than first thought. He has not played golf in years (not that I’m anti-golf, only anti-subsidizing the grandiose game with taxation) and he’s not anti-Pioneer Valley Chinese Immersion Charter School, the elementary school my daughter attends here in the People’s Republic Of Amherst. He only opposes the concept of Charter Schools in general (although on average they outperform public schools and at a cheaper cost).

http://www.masslive.com/forums/amherst/

But damn, now he agrees with me on ‘The Vagina Monologues’, as well as the tax Override. And, seriously, he hits a hole in one on as far as it demonstrating how clueless our top school leaders are.


I was sitting last week at the Budget Coordinating Group meeting at Town Hall with Hochman on my immediate left and Shaffer on my immediate right and I just wanted to slap them (metaphorically speaking of course).

Here you guys—the two highest paid Amherst public officials ($300,000 per year combined) are sitting here plotting with ‘All The Usual Suspects’ for a tax Override to make your bureaucratic existence easier and both of you have stepped in deep Do-Do recently on God, Country and Apple Pie issues that seriously calls into question your judgment.

Well, anyway...I will be attending the BCG meeting later this morning at Town Hall (I think it starts at 9:00 am) and if anything of interest happens will post live from the meeting (love that free wireless).

UPDATE: 9:15 AM Ooops. I guess they did enough damage last week. Bumped into the always gregarious Town Manager in the hallway who confirmed there was no BCG meeting. Well maybe I'll try the LIVE FROM AMHERST thing later this evening at 6:15 pm when our illustrious Select Board holds a Special Meeting to decide whether to hold a Special Town Meeting, setting the stage for an Override vote this Spring. Look for a 3-2 vote with Greeney and Awad dissenting (you know the same duo who opposed the May 1'st Override)

SELL, Sell, sell the Override

As usual the Gazette on Tuesday gives us one of their typically wishy-washy “on the one hand…but on the other” kind of editorials--although the headline was perfect.

Any Group, Task Force, Blue Ribbon Panel or Ad Hoc Committee--as opposed to just a plain old Committee that has to abide by the Open Meeting Law--formed by Town officials with cherry picked, insider committee members is suspect when it comes to a Proposition 2.5 tax Override.

And the Budget Coordinating Group is the perfect posterchild! They immediately considered raiding the town treasury for $100,000 to hire consultants to lead a “public engagement process,” to package a "bulletproof" Override. Superintendent Hochman even brought a company flack from Unicom ARC to the November 7’th BCG meeting to sell, Sell, SELL the idea.

Unicom’s webpage proudly hypes feedback from a School official that obviously benefited from the hired guns: “They can steer a district through a public engagement process, secure accurate survey data, and guide election efforts to achieve even the most ambitious district goals.”

http://www.unicomarc.com/elections.php

And after the May 1’st Override failure, Superintendent Hochman and school committee folks are nothing if not “ambitious.”

Select board member Greeney outed the shady aspects of the BCG Override aspirations yet the Gazette thinks, “Ms Greeney needs to exercise caution in making claims that could unfairly tarnish the budget group’s reputation.”

Well, if the Gazette took its watchdog role seriously, maybe Ms. Greeney would not have to act as whistleblower.

UPDATE: 8:45 PM
So somebody on Masslive/Amherst Forum who doesn’t like my Cherry Hill stance (a golfer who plays there) and doesn’t like the Chinese Charter School my daughter attends (parent with kid in Amherst schools) posted a link to my blog because he does likes that I’m keeping tabs on town officials behind the scenes maneuvering.

So he’s probably a homeowner concerned about yet another tax increase. Pocketbook politics indeed makes strange bedfellow.

And O’reilly wanted me to post a link to the town budget. Not that anybody would read it. So I’m posting a link to BCG meetings minutes. Especially interesting is the 11/7/07 meeting where the PR flak gives a free sample of his propaganda campaign. And I especially like the Town Manager’s comment just after the presentation: “Facts can kill a campaign. Message is critical.” Hmmm….
http://www.amherstma.gov/minutes/view_minutes.asp?id=775

A final note

I was happy to see a couple Letters in this morning’s Gazette partially criticizing their coverage of but mostly lamenting Neal Ryan’s tragic loss, killed by either bumping his head after being hit by a slow-moving car or dying from other medicinal problems triggered by the shock of the accident.

Kind of like arguing about what killed Benazir Bhutto, the assassin’s bullets or the bomb. Either way they are gone. And their respective communities diminished.

Because of his disability (that many saw as a gift) he didn’t’ drive, and when the PVTA buses were on reduced schedule Neal walked everywhere. This month of course, with the University and colleges on intersession, the buses barely run.

Neal joined the Amherst Athletic Club a few years ago to lose weight and reduce high blood pressure. He was always wearing headphones and could rattle of trivia associated with whatever artists he listened to. A 1982 graduate of Amherst Regional High School, friends said he was picked on for being older than fellow classmates and, even more, for liking Elvis.

On Thursday morning, the day of his accident, Neal unexpectedly came in at 6:00 am to exercise--and he worked hard. His personal trainer later told me that he had promised her he would add an extra workout to make up for slacking off the previous week.

A promise kept…a promising life lost.

Scouts can use Kendrick Park!

As long as they are wearing skates.

Yeah, so last year the nubie Town Manager tried to make water freeze uphill on the Town Common. And like the $10 million heating plant Umass built in the 70's expecting water to defy gravity…it didn’t work.

So now he’s going to create a skating rink at Kendrick Park, even before the committee has even been formed to come up with a use policy. And Shaffer has already told the Scouts to take a hike on Christmas tree sales next year. Hmmm…
http://www.masslive.com/news/republican/index.ssf?/base/news-12/1200644432293610.xml&coll=1 This was Front Page. 3'rd largest paper in Mass.

http://www.amherstbulletin.com/story/id/76765/(Note comments on right)

And the Captain fiddles while...

To: amherstac@yahoo.com
Subject: 'VM" morning announcements
Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2008 08:20:01 -0500
From: jacksonmk@arps.orgj

Gee, Larry, I've always spoken highly of you.

Mark Jackson, Principal
Amherst Regional High School
21 Mattoon St.
Amherst, MA 01002
W: 413-362-1701

Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2008 05:41:44 -0800 (PST)
From: "larry kelley"
Subject: VAGINAS! Vaginas, VA GI NAS!
To: jacksonmk@arps.org

Hey Mark,

And I once spoke highly of you. Especially last year when you stood up to the girls and said “No” we can't allow school sanction of ‘Vagina Monologues’ because, as you told the crusty Amherst Bulletin:

"... the experience of those who were responsible for organizing the event three years ago was that it took over their professional lives. The level of detail to attend to was inordinate," Jackson wrote in an email.

Jackson also cited other priorities, such as the upcoming estimated budget shortfall that will occupy administrators' attention and deprive them of extra time to devote to the logistics of staging the controversial production.

Soooo, Superintendent Hochman is currently whining about a $300,000 shortfall in your budget for FY09, but I guess you don’t consider that significant; or maybe you have more administrators than you know what to do with this year.

And you must think that 2004--when you were not around--was just a tempest in a teapot. Yeah, Bill O’Reilly (three times), Time Magazine and The Today Show were all having slow news days.

Larry

Mark be nimble, Mark be quick...

In a message dated 1/17/08 2:04:04 PM, Amherst AC writes:
Hey Mark,
I am in receipt of your apologetic email to a couple of folks who complained about the insensitive, asinine promo for 'The Vagina Monologues' that was scheduled to be announced this morning.

When you say "I will address this issue today to ensure any future announcements are written in an appropriate fashion" one could get the impression that the original announcement was read school wide this morning but that it would not happen again (at least in so egregiously stupid a manner).

So my question is: what exactly was read to the kids in our High School this morning concerning 'The Vagina Monologues'???

Larry Kelley


In a message dated 1/17/08 2:14:02 PM, JacksonMK@ARPS.ORG writes:
Larry:

What was read today was the same thing that was read yesterday. But it will be different tomorrow.

Thanks,

Mark Jackson

Mark Jackson, Principal
Amherst Regional High School
21 Mattoon St.
Amherst, MA 01002
W: 413-362-1701
F: 413-549-9704
jacksonmk@arps.org


In a message dated 1/17/08 2:17:06 PM, Amherst AC writes:
Hey Mark,
What the Hell are you, an aircraft carrier floating in a sea of molasses?
Larry

UPDATE: 3:00 pm So just for the record here is the announcement they will make tomorrow:

The Vagina Monologues is coming to the high school stage, Friday, February 15th! Mark your calendars, and get ready to become part of the worldwide phenomenon.

Of course, I'm still shocked that Jackson is told by his Boss the previous afternoon about the inappropriate nature of the announcement that apparently was made anyway twice and Jackson even sends an apologetic email to two complainants at 6:18 am but somehow the original tacky announcement was still made this morning. For the record, ARHS starts at 7:45 am. And are they going to hype (albeit lower key) this monstrosity every day between now and February 15'th???

No Vagina For You!

From: "Mark Jackson"
To: ;
Cc: "Jere Hochman"
Sent: Thursday, January 17, 2008 6:18 AM
Subject: Morning Announcements

Ms. XXX and Mr. XXX,

Dr. Hochman first brought the phrasing of the morning announcement regarding The Vagina Monologues to my attention yesterday afternoon.

He shouldn't have needed to do this. I should've have scrutinized this more closely.

Morning announcements, which are read to all students every morning, should be written in a more neutral fashion. I will address this issue today to ensure any future announcements are written in an appropriate fashion.

Again, my apologies.

Mr. Jackson

Mark Jackson, Principal
Amherst Regional High School
21 Mattoon St.
Amherst, MA 01002
W: 413-362-1701
F: 413-549-9704
jacksonmk@arps.org

Breaking 'Vagina' News 10:17 am

I'm sitting in a boring Budget Meeting (where town officals are trying to come up with a "bulletproof" sales pitch for a tax Override) so I will upload the new news by noon. God I love this free wireless in town center!

Vagina Monologues: PT Barnum promo

Okay, this is the Internet and we're all adults here, so sure the V- word is fine. The C-word synonym, however, is not.

But I find it weird that even the more benign word "vagina" is repeatedly shouted in a Public School announcement tomorrow at the Amherst Regional High School. Just another 'Only In Amherst' moment. Maybe they should use 'Somewhere, There's a Place For Us' from 'West Side Story' as background music.
As the frustrated parent who just forwarded it to me said in her email: “So much for sensitivity”.

ARHS Morning Announcements
Thursday, January 17th, 2008

* VAGINA! Vagina. Va. Gi. Na. Get used to saying it, because The Vagina Monologues is coming to the high school stage, Friday, February 15th! Mark your calendars, and get ready to become part of the worldwide phenomenon.


UPDATE: 9:00 pm (yeah, past my bedtime)

In a message dated 1/16/08 4:13:57 PM, XXX@hotmail.com writes:
Hi Larry,
I always check the high school daily announcements to be an informed parent. Thought you'd be interested in entry #9 in tomorrows.
http://www.arps.org/hs/News/announcements.html
So much for sensitivity, etc.
Trying to compose my letter to Dr. Hockman now.
Mary


>>2008 4:32 pm >>> 1/16/
Good afternoon Mr. Hochman,
I try to stay informed by reading the HS announcements online a day early.I was taken aback a bit by the ninth entry for tomorrow. While I think you have been sensitive with the whole "V Monologue" situation so far, this seems a bit "in your face" for some kids and quite insensitive. I know you don't write the announcements, or even see them beforehand. It just seemed a bit crude and I wanted you to be aware of it before tomorrow.
Thank you for your time,
Mary XXXX

----- Original Message -----
From: "Jere Hochman"
Sent: Wednesday, January 16, 2008 5:14 PM
Subject: Re: ARHS morning announcements
Dear Ms XXX:

I have not seen the announcements but will review them. We have worked at keeping this topic and performance in perspective and a parameter has been to avoid being in one's face. I am sorry about that. I will review this with Mr. Jackson. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
Jere Hochman

In a message dated 1/16/08 5:49:09 PM, XXXXXXX@hotmail.com writes to Only In Amherst blogspot:
Well, what do you know!
Mary

From: amherstac@aol.com
To: XXX@hotmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, January 16, 2008 6:18 PM
Hey Mary,
Wow! Mind if I post it on my blog????
Larry

From:
To: amherstac@aol.com
Sent: Wed, 16 Jan 2008 6:41 pm
I'll have to think about it. I had enough heat after the no vote. You should see the reception I get at some school meetings! I know it wouldn't pull much weight if it didn't have a name to it.
Mary

From: amherstac@aol.com
To: XXX@hotmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, January 16, 2008 6:46 PM
Hey Mary,
I would xxx-out your name and email address but leave in your letter and Hochman's response. So obviously he would be the ONLY person to know and if other people found out we would know it HE leaked it (obviously I can keep a secret)
Larry

From:
To: amherstac@aol.com That sounds fine Larry. I am being optimistic that whoever wrote it wasn't thinking and it won't be announced that way tomorrow. Not only thinking about the students but the teachers that may not feel like reading that to a bunch of teens! Ich!
Mary

In a message dated 1/16/08 7:57:42 PM, Amherst AC writes:
Thanks Mary,
They were not thinking when they decided to allow 'VM' in the first place (let alone the second time!)
Larry

FINAL UPDATE: 10:00 pm

Questions to ponder:

Will a bucolic little High School in a state Mitt Romney described as “the most liberal in the nation” really trumpet "VAGINA, vagina, vagina” at tomorrow morning’s announcements?

Will the Crusty Daily Hampshire Gazette have any of this in tomorrow’s edition, since an Editor has been aware of this development since 5:00 pm? Or at the very least their equally crusty "newsroom blog" that's "updated Mon thru Fri".

And will Superintendent Hochman take Amherst Regional High School principal Mark Jackson to the woodshed for a well-deserved spanking?
Another, more sagacious, Jackson:
http://onlyintherepublicofamherst.blogspot.com/2007/06/uncharted-territory-at-that.html

The price of good deeds

Just as she proved with rosy but wrong Cherry Hill revenue figures last year, Selectman Awad still has trouble with numbers. Trying to blunt a firestorm of criticism directed at the Town Manager over his Scrooge tax on the Boy Scout Christmas tree sale, Ms. Awad declared use of the park for “eight weeks” by this local non-profit was different than groups like the Pot Rally who only use town land for a day.

Fortunately Selectman Greeney knows numbers and corrected her by saying the scouts’ use the property for only a month and, furthermore, they clean it up like good scouts do when they are done.

During the discussion Selectman Brewer (herself a Den Mother) asked Shaffer directly if he was going to allow the Boy Scouts to use the property at all, even with the tax, for Christmas sales next year.

Saying he didn’t want the park usage to become “unduly encumbered”, Shaffer suggested the scouts start scouting a new location. All the negative publicity generated by his clueless, un-American decision indicates to his bean-counter mind that the scouts have a “degree of entitlement” to the land.

Let’s see, the Amherst Pelham Boy Scouts have used that location for fifty years with the owners blessing, who set up a trust to purchase the entire property and donate it to Amherst for a “landscaped park”.

The general public--who unfortunately can’t vote him out--took Mr. Shaffer to the woodshed for a well deserved spanking; and rather than learn from his mistake he shifts the blame to the victim.

According to this morning’s crusty Gazette the Town Manager is awaiting his ill-gotten gains, estimated at $700-$800 (or two-months of his auto/cell phone allowance).

I hope the Scouts pay him in pennies!

UPDATE: 9:00 pm. I forget the crusty Gazette actually uploads to the net (many hours after I read hardcopy at 5:30 am.) So I just went to gazettenet and found a couple of cute comments to the cyberstory:

Miss Ellie [ Posted on: Tuesday - January 15, 2008 at 10:09 AM]
I think it would be wonderful if the Senior Center or Leisure Services accepted the so called "donation" and donated it right back to the Boy Scouts.

Julie T [ Posted on: Tuesday - January 15, 2008 at 12:28 PM]
What a crock for Town Manager Larry Shaffer to say , "I appreciate their generosity and kindness," to the Boy Scouts, since he is the one who mandated that they pay to use the land. Perhaps instead, he should say, that he is sorry for being greedy, and that yes, he sees the contribution that the boys make to the town , and that is enough and greatly appreciated; so here is your check back. Instead every year, he will be more greedy and raise the fee to the boy scouts. I real live "scrooge".

Just after the storm, off Bay Road

Nothing like the purity of a new snow.

Crows in a 'V'

Although I’m 100% Irish, I don’t consider myself overly superstitious, but today was a tad weird.

I had decided not to upload until Monday late-morning so my Friday post stayed front-and-center until the Bricks-and-Mortar Media awakens Monday morning around 8:30 am or so…otherwise known as the start of a new news cycle.

So I pull into the Amherst Athletic Club this Sunday morning around 10:45 am (we open at 11) and I’m listening to WDRC the oldies station running a “one hit wonder weekend” and the tune ‘Indiana Wants Me’ is playing.

Including the great line “If a man ever needed dying he did…No one has a right to say what he said about you” And I thought to myself, if we go uptown tonight and some aggressive goof calls my wife or daughter the ‘C-word” how would I react?

And as I exit my car a couple crows sound the alarm from a tree I have probably looked at ten thousand times over the past 25 tears and never noticed the V formation at the top.

The Chinese Kenpo Karate Creed that I have observed for almost 35 years states that “Should I be forced to defend myself, my family or my honor then here are my weapons…. my open hands”

So yeah, branding my wife or daughter the “C-word” definitely trips the “honor” thing, and I would physically engage. And yeah, if he reached into his pocket for what I thought a weapon I would use all-out force…as in lethal.

Better to explain it to a Judge than risk the unthinkable.

No Victory in 'V'

http://www.amherstbulletin.com/story/id/75823/

You can’t tell by the cyber-version, but Mary Carey’s article from last week’s Gazette made today's Amherst Bulletin Front Page, above the fold. And, as they did four years ago, the squeamish Bully headline editor avoids “vagina” in a headline. Talk about underscoring my point.

So it’s okay for young girls to publicly scream the actual C-word, yet the Bulletin hides behind the euphemistic V-word? Yikes! And it’s not like they are know for being a (Christian) conservative publication.

Although not the overall lead story…it’s a good start. Four years ago the first shots fired came from my column 3 or 4 pages inside the late-December issue, when almost nobody was paying attention.

Interestingly the TOP story exposes public officials (lead by School Superintendent Hochman) still smarting from the May 1’st Override failure, eyeing tax money for a professional survey of citizens to discover how best to jam a tax increase down our throats.

According to today’s Gazette the Elementary Schools are $1.4 million and the Regional High School $300,000 in the hole for FY09. So rather than concentrating on filling that budget gap, Hochman and principal Mark Jackson (unless he designates his wife to handle it) will be preoccupied defending this ridiculous ‘Only In Amherst’ decision.

In a message dated 1/8/08 10:28:15 PM, mary.carey@att.net writes:

Hi Larry -- Do you have a comment on the decision to produce the Vagina Monologues that I can use in the Bulletin story. If they decide to cut out the parts you think are most offensive either because of the language or because they seem to condone pedophilia, would you think it is OK to produce a cleaned-up version (if that is allowed)?
Thanks!
--mary

In a message dated 1/9/08 7:58:22 AM, Amherst AC writes:
Hey Mary,
I will be a lot less inclined to unleash the Dogs of War if they do a cleaned up version.
Larry

In a message dated 1/9/08 9:10:25 AM, mary.carey@att.net writes:
What is YOUR ultimate goal, given the current situation, that is that the play will be produced and there may be certain things you can not do with it thanks to the copyright?

In a message dated 1/9/08 9:59:04 AM, Amherst AC writes:
My martial arts philosophy is don't engage in battle unless you are absolutely sure of your position and then if you think for whatever reason you will lose, do SOOOOOO much damage that the opponent will never want to deal with you again. (hand them a Pyrrhic victory)
Larry

In a message dated 1/9/08 12:56:20 PM, mary.carey@att.net writes:
D'oh. I didn't get a chance to include this.


In a message dated 1/9/08 1:17:03 PM, Amherst AC writes:
That's okay: That's why God invented blogging!

And the answer is...

And NO I have not heard back from Amherst School Superintendent Jere Hochman as to whether the Amherst Regional High School performance this year of ‘The Vagina Monologues’ with be an “edited for High School” version or the orgasmic original version (as long as you don’t count the 1996 First Edition) with the monologue that attempts to “reclaim” the C-word where the vile word is often repeated.

Yes, soon after the 2004 performance of ‘The Vagina Monologues', the ONLY high school in America to allow it, ARHS also banned the word “freshman” for incoming 9’th graders. And of course, this is the same school that banned a production of ‘West Side Story’ in 1999.

In his rather long email to me on Saturday Superintendent Hochman explains that High School principal Mark Jackson saw the performance at the Northampton Arts Center last year and was so impressed he decided to damn the torpedoes and go full-speed ahead on this year’s performance on school property.

I don’t know Jackson as he was not here in 2004, but his daughter was in my daughter’s kindergarten class at Crocker Farm Elementary School last year for a few months before he placed her in a private school.

According the Gazette article his wife Lynn Phillips has “written on feminism” but the only thing I could find on a Goggle search was a blurb she wrote for the book ‘Packaging Girlhood’.

Two years ago when the Amherst Regional High School performed ‘Urinetown’ as the official school play, Mr. Hochman emailed me a couple days before the first public announcement just to say it was nothing to get excited about and not to judge a play by its title. After a quick Goggle search I thought it was fine for a high school.

Of course this past week when it was announced that the school would reprise ‘The Vagina Monologues,’ my first notice came by way of the crusty Gazette article. And yes folks I have read the entire book/play, watched Ensler’s DVD and, UGH, attended the 2004 Amherst Regional High School performance (Bill O’Reilly made me do it!).

MYTHS EXPOSED:
http://www.cblpi.org/programs/vday/factsfallacies.cfm

UPDATE: Thursday 3:30 pm I’m waiting for the ultra-crusty Amherst Bulletin to go cyber (got my hardcopy five hours ago) so I can link to their Front Page story. But this was pretty funny. I get an email yesterday from Superintendent Hochman’s office that looks like it went to a bunch of folks:

On Wednesday, January 23, Superintendent Jere Hochman will present an overview of the Amherst-Pelham schools.

This brief presentation will be followed by and important hour of dialogue about our school districts' MISSION and VALUES. What do YOU believe to be the most essential values our schools should characterize? What do YOU believe to be the mission of our public schools?

Gee, off the top of my head, maybe the public schools should try to teach moral values.

UPDATE: Thursday 9:30 pm. So the ultra-crusty Amherst Bulletin finally uploaded but I'm too tired to respond with a new blog upload tonight. But if you go amherstbulletin.com you can read the 'V' story and my instant cyber reaction. More of a prepared response tomorrow.

Slight Correction

So journalistic neophytes will be tempted to cite the infamous “Dewey Wins” (actually the headline reads “Dewey Defeats Truman”; but if I really thought it was a mistake I would simply delete the 12/30 post and pretend it never happened. Just consider it an inevitable prognostication.

Ultimate Fitness, true to the sign posted two weeks ago, reopened for business yesterday. Hmmm…Bummer!

Their hours are reduced until the start of the semester 1/28. Goes to show how much they target the students. No explanation for taking off the biggest week in the Health Club industry for new (non-student of course) sign ups.

And so they will continue to beat on like boats against the (muddy) current...

Almost gone...

The $64,000 question

NOTE: THIS UPLOAD IS RATED R (but if teenagers can use the word...)

In a message dated 1/5/08 9:25:06 AM, Amherst AC writes:
Jere,
So what did we mean by "portions of"?
Larry

In a message dated 1/5/08 1:21:54 PM, hochmanj@ARPS.ORG writes:
Larry
Lots of details to work on this.

On your "portions" question - last time there was a scene or two omitted or modified. I have questions for this performance and what's included and what's not.

We'll have the same restrictions on age for attendance (last time no middle schoolers or below) and parent permission for others. Parent permission to be a participant. No school day or assembly type performance. Done in context of a week of awareness raising. In other words, choice for those who want to be near it with parent permission and choice for those who don't want to be near it.

Some context - last year the students wanted to do the show. They did the performance off campus in Northampton. Principal (who was not here last time) found it to be an important performance.

I continue to struggle with this (and I did last time, too). It's high school. I get that. These are teenagers. I get that. On the other hand, the world of sex and violence to which they are exposed is outside of our control and the messages are horrendous and they are routine. The movies - the music - and the stories from their college campuses. And although the language and content of this show is as extreme of some of those exposures, it is a message presented in a way that counters much of negative messages they see and hear in the real world.

As I left the performance last time, what struck me was the message that the young men in attendance got. Yes - there was laughter, language, and sexual references - but there was also a powerful message that I have to think continues to run through their minds as they are now young men on college campuses, in fraternities, and out in that real world. The Duke lacrosse team members were not guilty of rape - but two messages came out of that event: that such situations DO occur on campuses (and in spite of what the media does not cover, there is sexual violence on campuses) and what was forgotten was that a group of young men hired strippers for a regular old college party. Perhaps a dose of a few scenes of the performance would get them to think twice.

So - with that - and drawing a circle around it so only those with permission and readiness to attend/participate do so, that may be the balance to strike for high school - and for those who don't get the message - perhaps they get it in other ways as they get older.

Finally - this fits in with recent efforts at raising awareness and focusing on responsiveness for student well-being and safety. We had a committee of counselors and teachers address the issue of a "code of silence" among students and adults. What we learned was that such a code does exist - that students do have incidents and issues - and many do not tell a trained adult. Bullying - internet bullying - all that students are exposed to on the internet - it's only getting worse. We have been addressing that with faculty and staff all year starting with identifying boundaries for the adults and their responsibility as "first responders" to kids and adults with issues. We spend a lot of time on calculus and our six world languages - but these issues, too, are important and who/what Amherst is. If we push the envelope, it will be researched and well-thought out.

More than you asked, but I feel I owe you as much explanation as possible.
Jere

In a message dated 1/5/08 1:33:45 PM, Amherst AC writes:
Hey Jere,
Yeah, a bit more than I asked for. Let me rephrase: Are you going to allow "Reclaiming Cunt" monologue?
Larry

In a message dated 1/5/08 2:18:25 PM, hochmanj@ARPS.ORG writes:
I'll get back to you on that.
Jere

In a message dated 1/5/08 2:26:42 PM, Amherst AC writes:
Her Jere,
And while you're at it: "The little Coochie Snorcher" is #2 on my list. You know, the one where a 24-year-old has sex with a 16-year-old after warming her up with alcohol (and in Ensler's original 1996 edition she was only 14 years old).
Larry

Sunday: 11:45 am. Now that I think about it there are two questions: Will ARHS censor that particularly offensive 'VM' skit (thus vindicating my 2004 crusade) and will the Superintendent of the Amherst Schools actually use the C-word in writing?

She'ssss baaaack! (Ensler that is)

As I recently mentioned in my comments section to Blog Guru Tommy Devine, my only regret concerning this blog (started March 17’th, St Patty's Day) equaled the one I had over my hip replacement surgery: why the Hell did I wait so long?!

For the surgery I simply thought I was way too young; and for blogging I was unsure if enough material would present itself for my musings at least 5 days per week or roughly the publishing schedule of the Crusty Gazette.

So as I’m driving home this morning from dropping my daughter off at the Chinese Charter School (conveniently located next to my Health Club) I flip open the Gazette to the break page scanning headlines while driving to see if they got around to covering Fitness Club closings yet: Nope. But I spot a headline on the Boy Scout Christmas tree tax debacle and I figured there’s today's upload.

Ahh, but then (now sitting at home with coffee in hand) I turn the page: ‘Amherst Regional High School to perform Vagina Monologues.’ Wow, we’ve come a long way: the crusty Gazette used to never allow the word "Vagina" in a headline. Gee, maybe they have progressed to where they will also use the "C-word" (rhymes with bunt.)

Yes folks hold on to your hats, it is going to be a Hell of a ride. The last time (2004) the Amherst High School allowed teen-agers to publicly perform R-rated material it was announced the first week of December.

After all, V-Day is Ensler’s way of trying to reinvent Valentine’s Day (just like she tried to reinvent the "C-word"), thus the play is performed around mid-February, nationwide. Which of course doesn’t give the kiddies much time to reherse.

And it's a pretty safe bet that--like in 2004--no other K-12 school system in America will allow this embarrassing travesty, thus making Amherst the ONLY entity to cancel a production of 'West Side Story' but allow 'Vagina Monologues'.

And you would think a disjointed School system--with four-out-of-six principals having just abandoned ship and a long-time teacher busted for kiddie porn--would have better things to do then spend the next six weeks defending this controversial, ‘Only In Amherst,’ decision.

UPDATE (4:20 pm): Just received this weekly email from highly-paid Superintendent Jere Hochman to the schools listserve:

HIGH SCHOOL PERFORMANCES
You may have read or heard by now that there will be a production of portions of the "Vagina Monologues" at the High School this year. This is a single performance and is part of a week of activities and awareness raising on women's rights, safety, and responsiveness. Although the performance is important with powerful messages, we are mindful this not for everybody. As was the case in the previous production four years ago, several parameters will be placed on production. Details are still being worked out on these parameters, but they will include the same "parent permission" approach for student participation and student attendance; no school day or assembly performance; and others.

For those not familiar with our high school programs, this is not the single annual "school play" or musical. "AIDA," this year's school musical, will be performed later this year. The annual High School Cabaret is this weekend and several other musical and drama performances have occurred and will take place this year.


Of course I’m a tad curious about the term “portions of the Vagina Monologues”??? Four years when I suggested they simply edit out the Monologue that used the “C-word” repeatedly, or the other one that glorified sex between a minor female and adult women who plied her with alcohol (suggesting that since it was a lesbian affair it was fine) that would be, borderline, acceptable.

But Her Highness Eve Ensler legally REQUIRED her artistic masterpiece be performed as written and it was all or nothing. Hmmm...

Twin sentinels withstanding the test of time

And the winner is...

Okay if the bricks-and-mortar Media can recycle the tired, traditional, Top Ten stories of the past year I suppose this blog can name the single most important story in the People’s Republic of Amherst for 2007. Of course if I were a clever blogger you would have a drum roll MP3 file to click.

The May 1’st Proposition Two and a half Override FAILURE. I emphasize failure because if it had passed the story would have been one of those journalistic “dog bites man” stories and would barely have made anyone’s top-ten list BUT...because it failed in education oriented, overly enlightened Amherst it's a “man bites dog story.”

Why did it fail? Let me count the ways! The oldest martial arts truism in the 'Book Of Secrets' unequivocally states: “Never underestimate your opponent.” In this case, Overriders didn’t even know they had opponents until after heavy artillery had been brought to bear.

With ample ammunition: like the $4.3 million Amherst had hidden in reserves thus translating to town officials wanting taxpayers to consume their savings so the town could keep money stashed in its Stabilization and Free Cash accounts (currently at $3.9 million.)

The Town Manager made the rookie--throwback to the 1980’s--mistake of threatening cuts to Public Safety that he would never implement (although, unfortunately, Police did take a hit); and he turned down a guaranteed $30,000 annually for a retched municipal golf course that squandered an average of $100,000 per year for six consecutive years.

And for some inexplicable reason all the Heavy-Hitter, Usual Suspects in the 'Save our Schools' crowd let a guy who had absolutely no political experience whatsoever run their inept campaign.



Overconfident Overriders failed to order lawn signs; and that monumental mistake plus some immature High School kids stealing the “No More Overrides” lawns signs the first night they sprouted all over town, combined for a Perfect Storm of publicity. One clueless kid was caught by police after dropping his cell phone and paid $250 in restitution that Taxpayers for Responsible Change donated to local charities.

Of course all the dire predictions failed to materialize and the Regional School finished the year with an extra $1 million left over in their operation budget (which they promptly spent) and no teacher layoffs. Now we learn Amherst taxpayers subsidize the Ambulance service we provide to nearby towns and Umass by about $650,000 per year. And those empty outreach buses cost just over $100,000.

Thus, town officials have their managerial work cut out for them in 2008—especially since an Override is out of the question. But hey, that’s why we pay them the Big Bucks.

My Christmas wishes (A leprechaun granted me three) for next year: The Grinch/Scrooge Town Manager learns from his most recent mistake and axes the tax on our Boy Scouts Christmas tree sales; Amherst police catch the culprit who stole money destined for children from the Christmas light display on Whippletree lane; and the Chamber of Commerce actually decorates downtown Amherst like an American town rather than a North Korean village.

30

A crime against children.

So in spite of some sick Grinch stealing a day’s worth of Christmas donations, the Pastorello’s epic light show--unfortunately their grand finale--on Whippletree Lane went over the top for overall donations going to help children at the Shriners Chrildren Hospital, surpassing a record set in 2001.

Since the crusty Gazette (amazingly) managed to get the article in today about the depressing theft Sunday night and the Pastorello’s mentioned they only needed $29 to break the record I dropped off a check this morning for $30 (note to thief: It’s made out to Shriners Children Hospital, so don’t bother returning to the scene of your despicable crime.)

And I can only hope a lot more folks in Amherst got the same idea as me and dropped off a check as well.