Friday, February 22, 2008

Who would have thunk?

The Crusty Gazette actually has a sense of humor--probably not about me calling them Crusty however. From today’s “Gazette News Quiz” (and it even gets a pull quote headline):

Until close to the performance date, which of these was supposed to be a requirement before students could attend “The Vagina Monologues” at Amherst Regional High School?

A: Confiscation of non-fairly traded chocolate bars
B: Blood testing for traces testosterone
C: Breathalyzer testing
D: Singing a song from “West Side Story”


And even the next question of the week (2 out of 10 ain’t bad) relates to ‘VM’:

And while we’re at it: Marina Goldman brought an object to Firday’s performance of “The Vagina Monologues” referring to it as something that “only gets to come out once a year.” It was:
A: Pillow depicting the female body
B: A 10-foot letter ‘V’ mad of Amherst Athletic Club handbills
C: A signed copy of Eve Ensler’s firs one-woman show “All about me (ve)”
D: A grammatically correct Emily Dickinson doll


Of course my Athletic Club has not used “handbills” to advertise in almost 10 years., you know since the advent of the Digital Age. Yet another reason I refer to them as Crusty.

UPDATE: High-noon (ish)
Okay since a few folks asked, my list would have been...
Until close to the performance date, which of these was supposed to be a requirement before students could attend “The Vagina Monologues” at Amherst Regional High School?:

A: Yell the C-word while thrusting both arms skyward like Mary Lou Retton did when sticking her dismount to capture Olympic Gold.
B: Blood testing all males for traces of Estrogen
C: Breathalyzer testing (but have them blow into a condom)
D: Recite—in its entirety-- the Pledge of Allegiance.

UPDATE: 5:15 PM. Yeah it's snowing (welcome to New England)

UPDATE: Saturday 6:30 PM. Couldn't possibley add to this:
Hide the Kids

6 comments:

O'Reilly said...

Too bad their paper is behind a firewall. I need a laugh.

maryd said...

very few of our students could meet your D requirement!

LarryK4 said...

Yeah, and rumor has it that all homerooms in the Amherst School system do not start the day with the Pledge or even have an American flag (as required by the Department of Education) on display.

maryd said...

Well, my kids don't get to say it on a daily basis there.
I remember having the American and state flag in classrooms as I grew up in CA. I am very fond of the bear on that flag. I wonder how many of our kids could pick the MA flag out?

LarryK4 said...

Amherst kids could probably pick out the Rainbow flag or, ugh, United Nations flag before our state flag (or even Old Glory herself)

Max Hartshorne said...

Larry you never cease to amaze me and I still wonder how you have any time to run the health club. But gotta love those photos of the shuttered competition in Hadley!
Your blog is a lot of fun and what blogs should be... Controversial!!