Bomb the Bully?

So the buzz on the (privately owned by Mother Mary) Amherst Town Meeting listserve the past couple of days has been about the good ship Amherst Bulletin hitting an iceberg on their maiden voyage into political endorsements.
Amherst Town Meeting Buzz

One former Select Man suggested a boycott. Naturally Leo Maley the campaign manager of top vote getter and editorially supported candidate Diana Stein suggests everybody get over it and move on because, after all (and I can envision a Cheshire Cat smile as he typed this) “It is better to be a winner than a whiner.”

And talk about serendipity. Just after I point out it’s hard to “boycott” a free publication, I receive in my mailbox a plea from the Bully to send in this postage return paid postcard saying I want to receive the publication. This allows them significant reduced rates with their bulk mailing costs. Hmmm….

So even if only Hwei-Ling Greeney’s 1,393 supporters withhold that postcard it could tip the balance. Worse yet, they could check off the “No I do not wish to continue receiving the Bulletin” then wrap up a heavy brick in brown paper and tape the post card to it (with the “all postage is paid for by the Amherst Bulletin” showing).

Personally I liked my Abby Hoffman idea from a few days ago about wrapping a dead fish in the Bulletin let it ferment a few days and then mail it to them. Of course, now you could attach the post card and let them pay for it.

BUT, BUT, BUT: I’ve been there all too many times over the past 26 years in business. Last year after the Override failed a bitter woman sent me a snotty, condescending email saying she was forbidding her husband from renewing his relatively long-time membership to my club.

Fair enough…I guess. It’s one thing to suddenly decide you don’t like something a business owner has done (even though it has nothing to do with the business itself) and decide not to continue patronage.

But it’s another thing altogether to wage psychological warfare as punishment over daring to invoke my First Amendment rights.

Yeah, the Bulletin screwed up. And the good old boys in the ailing Bricks and Mortar newsprint industry never explain and never apologize.

As Freud once (hopefully) observed, however: “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”

End of a beautiful day

UPDATE: 10:30 pm It’s been an interesting if not L-O-N-G day. My forever business partner (as opposed to forever wife) is in L.A. cornering for an Ultimate Fighting women’s World Champ he trains, so I had to do a tad more work at the athletic Club than usual. And I’m still in a bad mood over yesterday’s election results.

So, he whispered soflty, just between us, this is what transpired over the past four or five hours:

Discussion on the Town Meeting Listserve (mistakenly called a blog by one poster):
On Mar 31, 2008, at 10:27 PM, mlwentworth@comcast.net wrote:

The editor of the editorial page of the Bulletin made a commitment to an op-ed writer several weeks ago that his column would appear in the March 27th edition. It did not. The editor also established in writing the process by which letters would be printed. He did not fulfill that promise either. One can only surmise that he was overruled by his superiors in Northampton who decided to arrange the page — letters and column — to support their endorsement.

Furthermore, it is generally considered to be an unfair practice
for a news paper to print attacks on candidates in the last edition
leading to the election. The Bulletin chose not to do this either.
Some editors in the interest of fairness would have shown the
letters/columns to the candidate and given him/her an opportunity to reply

And finally, we were told that letters in support of Greeney that
were supposed to be printed and that addressed a misconception of
her stand in regard to the budget and the schools were Online. But
it developed that the only way these letters could be accessed was
by doing a search using the name of the letter writer. Very cute. Freedom of the press has limitations in the same way that freedom of speech does.

From: Richard Bentley
To: amhersttownmeeting@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, 2 Apr 2008 3:37 pm

Can we get their side of the story on this blog? It would appear they
owe the town a HUGE explanation, and it might allay future mistrust.

From: amherstac@aol.com
To: amhersttownmeeting@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, 2 Apr 2008 5:33 pm

Bricks and mortar editors NEVER apologize and NEVER explain.

Larry


My comment on Tommy Devine's stellar blog this evening:

Yeah, let's hope the Big Shots that own the Springfield Republican can find a way to keep Local Buzz buzzing along. With only a cyber footprint it most certainly has a cheaper overhead than all that messy printing and distributing of heavy material that comes from trees Amherst folks so love to hug.

The Net was born out of Doomsday and has grown into the communication revolution that has ushered us into the 21'st Century. As the Dinosaurs discovered a few million years ago, adapt or die (or try to avoid those damn meteors)

Speaking of Doomsday, my very first notification on THAT awful morning came via an AOL Instant Message, something I usually declined.

I had just posted a flaming message to the Gazettenet forum (that at the time was way more popular than the Masslive Amherst forum) about the 'Only in Amherst' anti-flag events from the Select Board meeting the night before.

I accepted the call (AOL used to open a pop up in your top left corner of the screen saying "Do you wish to accept this I.M. from so and so) because I knew he lived in Boston and thought--since the Select board meeting had made the AP wire in the pre dawn hours of 9/11--that it had to do with little old Amherst.

He sent the text message "Are you near a TV?" I responded, "Flags in Amherst?" No he came back instantly "A plane impaled the North Tower of the World Trade Center".

I responded "Holy shit!" Again he came back: "Make that two--another one just hit the South Tower." I said, "I gotta go". Only then did I speed home to turn on the TV and see those searing images. My God!

Fast forward and look at Gazettenet now. They have been in cyberspace forever in Internet time (over ten years) but this new major revision is a disaster. They launched on February 20 and claimed the beta version would be fully in place within a week and here we are almost six weeks later and they still rely on the previous build.

The blogs are a joke. Chief editor Foudy posted once on Feb 20 and has not updated since.

Newspapers of New England recently purchased The Gazette and Valley Advocate and the new publisher Aaron Julien (who married the President's daughter) has no journalism experience whatsoever. Unfortunately for me he moved to Amherst (like a lot of carpetbaggers) and his wife has been politically active in ACE the pro-education group that can't spell.

The Gazette spent millions installing a new color printer and constructing a giganormous (ugly as Hell) building to keep it out of the rain in their headquarters in Hamp and they recently acquired a subsidy from the taxpayers in the form of a $630,000 state tax credit.

And not so surprisingly the Amherst Bulletin (also under the control of Pretty-Boy Julien) at the 11'th hour endorsed Stein and O'Keeffe just when their campaigns were starting to panic.

So yeah, in light of that last second meddling by the Bricks-and-Mortar, Powers That Be, it's not so surprising that Hwei-Ling Greeney lost (although that pose with Kerry probably didn't help...Yikes)


Posted by LarryK4 to Tommy Devine's Online Journal at Wednesday, April 2, 2008 7:08:00 PM EST

It's a beautiful day

Since I did not make the victory parties last night let me say congratulations to Select Board winners Diana Stein and Stephanie O’Keeffe. You will now join a board with very little diversity of thought or ethnicity or--interestingly enough--gender.

The ball is now in your court, run with it. But keep in mind the parameters of the playing field. If you want to be everything to everybody you will need way more money; thus requiring a Proposition 2.5 Override, failsafe legislation that requires voter approval.

Last May 2,650 Amherst residents voted down just such an Override. Yesterday, first place winner Diana Stein garnered only 2,200 votes. Do the math.

Remember?

Let the gloating begin

10:15 pm Okay so what the Hell do I know? Actually my top three picks finished in the top three... only in reverse order. And 4'th and 5'th place I called perfectly. Stein, O'Keeffe and Greeney rather than the other way around. And Rhodes and Mr. Keenan (who got far more votes for Town Meeting in his home precinct as he did votes for Select Board)

But it really doesn't matter. Neither Stein nor O’Keeffe will serve out their three-year term. Because with bigger issues—like the Prop 2.5 Override getting blown out of the effluent last year--my predictions are a tad more accurate. Because it helps when we get a better voter turnout.

Amherst will change from this antiquated form of government that relies on part-time, amateur, do-gooders and come into the 21'th Century with a professional, full-time Mayor/Council.

But God help us until then.

Scenes from Amherst Town Center

UPDATE: 5:45 pm Well I guess if you drove thru town center today (as I did a few times) you would assume Blue Bloods, errr, I mean Blue Signs will capture the two coveted Select Board seats--not to mention the lone School Committee seat.

So if anybody is interested--and the 60% of you from outside Amherst probably are not—here’s my prediction for the election:
Greeney first (behold the power of the Red sign) O’Keeffe second, Stein third, Rhodes fourth and the most entertaining candidate Dave Keenan dead last.

Sanderson over Romero (in spite of the cool animatronic Marinette truck and her red, white and blue signage) for School Committee.
Amherst Redevelopment Authority: Peg Roberts and Aaron Hayden.

12:30 pm: Note the difference between unstaged photos A (above), where they had not yet spotted me; and photo B: obviously these folks get all excited when they think the results could get wider exposure.

Now I know why the Powers That Be, establishment coalition chose BLUE for all their candidates’ signs. You don’t get any more blue state than Massachusetts and out of the 351 municipalities you don’t get any bluer than Amherst.

The Chinese got it right: Red rocks!

Well I love that dirty water

With all the fun I was having in town center yesterday I neglected this smelly story; and appropriate because as of 8:00 pm Rob Kusner will no longer be a Select Man (there go a bunch of great posts over the next year).

Hey Larry,

I am in Germany now (yeah, you already know, since I know you check from where in the world people log into your blog ;-) and just got this in my inbox. I thought you'd get a kick that it is addressed to me of all people!

Best wishes from Berlin (and see you in Town Meeting :-),

Rob

March 31, 2008

Mr. Robert Kusner
Board of Selectmen
Amherst
Town Hall
Amherst, MA. 01002

Dear Mr. Kusner:

I am pleased to advise you that Amherst will receive $22,575 from the Commonwealth Sewer Rate Relief Fund for FY 2008. The fund was established in 1993 to mitigate sewer rate increases due to debt service obligations for qualified sewer construction projects.

The balance in the fund from prior years and the FY 2008 appropriation provides for awards calculated at 6.567% of eligible debt service. The FY 2008 total state distribution from the fund was $23,025,406.

We are pleased to administer this important program to mitigate sewer rate increases in communitites across the Commonwealth.

Sincerely,

Robert G. Nunes
Deputy Commissioner &
Director of Municipal Affairs

Well that $22,000 will somewhat make up for the $38,000 effluent waiver Mr. Kusner gave his employer, Umass; except of course this grant is only a one-shot deal while the sweetheart effluent deal for Umass is a five year gig.

And with no cap on how much they can use for free and with all that new construction coming on line, the amounts are sure to expand exponentially

Note to Greg Saulmon at Local Buzz: Yeah, like ACE, the Deputy Commissioner also has a spelling problem (communities, committees…whatever)

Colorful Campaigning in Amherst Center

UPDATE: 9:25 pm Okay I just found another funny incident (even at this late hour). Having just discovered Baer 'The Turk' Tierkel’s blog via GavinThink and lo and behold there I am on Sunday when yes I did one of my favorite activities: the lone charge of an enemy machine gun nest.
SourVoodoo

So yeah, I have no problem with the nickname 'The Lone Ranger' although I believe all three Amherst Center columnists already used it to disparage Hwei-Ling Greeney.

But you gotta wonder about The Turk describing the standout of a half-dozen O’Keeffe Peepers (although Greeney gets two or three time that) holding signs as “impromptu”.

And so much for the Professor’s complaint/comment today about my giving people nicknames. I actually stole “The Turk” designation from one of Stephanie’s (other) biggest supporters.

UPDATE: 7:25 pm. Okay so I’m trying to think of the funniest incident of the day and boy it’s hard so I’ll just list all three (besides the animatronics Marinette for Romero video I posted)


Greg Saulmon at the Local Buzz has some fun with the overly educated Amherst ACE folks this afternoon (I can only hope he discovered them thru my posted link on Friday)
Local Buzz Bomb

So after leaving town center where I held a sign for Hwei-Ling for an hour so my phone rings and caller ID shows Otto Stein. “Hi this is Diana Stein and I’m running for Select board…do you have a moment” At first I thought it was a recorded message but I said “sure” and she went into a 30 second elevator pitch closing with “So can I have one of your two votes tomorrow?” Of course by now I’m laughing and I reply “Diana do you know who this is?” Ahhh, no she says. “I stood by you in town center two hours ago holding a red sign”. She actually kind of got a kick out it (as did I) saying “Well I guess I can’t count on either of your votes.”

And a not so funny incident where a pimple faced teenager came up to Hwei-Ling in a most direct manner and complained about her placing one of her signs on “town property” without anyone actually holding it (although we were only 20 yards away).

I said to Hwei-Ling not to worry about it as the kid was too young to vote anyway and obviously with his attitude has parents had already brainwashed him.

click to enlarge

What are you looking at?

Have you no sense of decency, sir?

UPDATE: Saturday 10:15 am discussion from Town Meeting listserve:
Larry,
Did Mr. Foudy see the piece before it when to press? Do you
know?
Or was this done by the Bulletin Editor locally?
Any suggestions as to safeguard the process for the future?
I'm not convinced yet, and strongly suggest more dialogue.
There had been too many inconsistencies for a few years now.
What were they thinking? AT least we could claim some
gains that the pieces are going to be publish on Saturday, but why are we having this discussion?
Vladimir M.


In a message dated 3/29/08 9:27:12 AM, amherstac@aol.com writes:

I believe the decision to endorse Stein/O'Keeffe was a joint one between Foudy, Hoffenberg and Julien. But obviously Publisher Julien has the most weight. The decision to run the Amherst Center column was probably just Hoffenberg (after all, it was their normal rotation time) and I assume he also edited it. The Bulletin may want to rethink endorsements in general or at the very least not do them in the final Bulletin before the election. Today's Gazette undoes a lot of the damage (except to the credibility of the Bulletin).
Larry

UPDATE: 3:25 pm Apparently the Gazette has some journalistic pride as they covered the press conference called this morning by everyone's favorite rogue Select Board candidate Dave Keenan to decry today's Bulletin (article will appear tomorrow) and Editor in Chief Jim Foudy just called Stan Gawle to confirm his column would also be in tomorrow's Gazette.

(2:00 PM) Today’s weekly Amherst Bulletin (the last before Amherst’s April Fools Day election) debut editorial hometown political endorsements; and strangely enough the ONLY Column on that highly read Commentary page ALSO endorsed (for the 2’nd consecutive time in a month) the identical Select Board wannabes.

Last month after the ‘Amherst Center’ amateur columnists championed Stein/O’Keeffe, ‘Amherst Taxpayers for Responsible Change’ spokesperson Stan Gawle immediately emailed the editor and asked for equal time…you know--the “fair and balanced” thing.

He was told to “shoot for” today’s issue and submitted his piece on Sunday morning--well before the Monday’s 9:00 am deadline. Surprisingly, Mr. Gawle’s column was spiked from the print edition.

Back when I was a paid columnist for the Bulletin (under a different editor and publisher) the sacred rule was equal time on political endorsements. And as I stated earlier, my editor did not want me writing ‘Letters to the Editor’ in between columns.

Last week ‘Amherst Center’ columnist Baer “the Turk” Tierkel took the time and space to throw mud at Hwei-Ling Greeney over political lawn signs. (UPDATE: I discovered who placed her sign on public property and--as I assumed--she had no knowledge of it whatsoever).

So yes, the Bulletin underwent major changes since Publisher Aaron Julien assumed command. Like all too many carpetbaggers, he recently moved to Amherst with his wife and three children.

When he married Abigal Wilson, whose Daddy is President of Newspapers of New England, the new owner of the Gazette and Amherst Bulletin, their wedding announcement appeared in the N.Y. Times.

His wife is a shareholder and member of the Board of Directors of Newspapers of New England (not to mention being “Daddy’s little girl”).

Abby Julien is also very active with ACE, a fledgling organization that wants the schools “to provide an intellectually engaging and challenging curriculum for all our children.” In other words, spend more tax money.

And ACE has certainly gotten more than its share of ink in the Bulletin over the past three months.
FREE PRESS ANYONE?

ACE has of course targeted Hwei Ling Greeney for extermination and today’s Bulletin goes a long way towards accomplishing that goal.

Greeney does have an expensive half-page Signature Ad on page five (the Bulletin charges 20% more for “placement”) with 503 voters names while O’Keeffe also has the other half of that page, but with only 340 names.

Although Greeney ordered the space months ago, O’Keeffe got the top-half, above the fold, choice placement because she had fronted herself $1,500 back in December as a "campaign loan" and will get reimbursed out of donations (sure to go up if she wins).

###################################################
From: Stanley Gawle
To: ajulien@gazettenet.com
Cc: nhoffenberg@gazettenet.com; greeneyh@juno.com; rhodesamherst@aol.com; amherstac@aol.com; scott ; jfoudy@gazettenet.com
Sent: Fri, 28 Mar 2008 9:59 am
Subject: Fw: comparable space foe Amherst Taxpayer endorsements

Dear Mr. Julien,

Newspapers flourish when the residents believe that the newspaper operates in a fair and balanced manner. This weeks edition of the Amherst is anything but fair and balanced. The Amherst Center has had two endorsement articles regarding selectboard candidates. All we asked was for the opportunity to present to the voters an alternative. Based on the emails contained herein,
I was led to believe that space would be reserved for 3-27.

A message from Noah yesterday said my op ed piece came in later than the others but it was e-mailed on Sunday morning.
He also said that my article appears on line and is read by thousands. Well, many voters especially the elderly, either can't afford computers or view them with trepidation.

This has been a rather un-fortunate situation and the horse is out of the barn but I am requesting three things for your consideration:

1. That my article appear as a guest column under the cartoon this coming Monday with the caption "Vote Greeney and Rhodes"
2. In the future, the Gazette adopt a policy that op ed pieces that are slated to appear, actually appear in the paper, not online.
3. If the Amherst Bulletin continues its endorsement in the future, that you consider affording the opportunity of a response by the other candidates that you haven't endorsed . That only seems fair.

Stan Gawle



On Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:00:43 EDT RhodesAmherst@aol.com writes:

To: the editors of the Amherst Bulletin and Hampshire Gazette
From: Irv Rhodes
RE: Amherst Bulletin March 28,2008

After reading the endorsement editorial of the Amherst Bulletin on March 28, I was struck by three things:

1. Immediately beside the editors endorsement was what was purported to be an OP-ED piece by Amherst Center writers Andy Churchill, Baer Tierkel and Clare Bertrand, this was a political advertisement and should have been labeled as such. Additionally, by having Amherst Center and the Amherst Bulletin endorse the same candidates on the same day just days away from the election (mind you that Amherst Center had previously published a very similar article in the Amherst Bulletin) leaves one with the perception that this was timed to have maximum impact on the election outcome.
2. The Amherst Taxpayers Association led by Stan Gawl, was suppose to have an OP-ED piece in the Amherst Bulletin on March 28 also, but it did not appear. It just so happens that Amherst Taxpayers supported Irv Rhodes (the writer ) and Hwei-Ling Greeney, thus the perception that the Bulletin was biased towards Amherst Center and effectively stifled alternative views,but also prevented the public from reading about the thoughts and endorsements of a legitimate group of citizens.
3. The endorsements of the Amherst Bulletin was an on again, off again affair, that should have been better planned and not done at the last minute. By having the endorsement come at the very last issue before the election, it gave no time for reaction by the candidates not endorsed by the editor, thus effectively cutting off the voices of those who would have disagreed with the editor's endorsements. This has the effect of limiting and effectively eliminating any dissenting views from being heard before the election. This is not fair and is not what a community newspaper should be about. Amherst, is rife with divisive thoughts and actions, the Amherst Bulletin should be a place where all voices of the community are given an equal opportunity to be heard, sadly this did not occur.

I am urging the Hampshire Gazette to publish on Monday March 31,2008 the OP-ED piece of Stan Gawl and the Amherst Tax Payers Association that was supposed to have appeared in the Amherst Bulletin. This would correct an injustice.
Irv Rhodes

Fire that second shot

Last year at this time I posted my recommendation to bullet vote for Select board candidate Alisa Brewer; she blew away incumbent Robie Hubley, husband of former-Czar but still Select Board member Anne Awad, by 2-1 and even outpaced His Lordship Gerry Weiss who, unfortunately, finished second.

Considering the other two alternatives, it was an easy call to suggest voting for only Brewer (although she has done little to nothing over the past year.)

When I first ran for Select Board 15 years ago against two establishment candidates (where two seats were available so each voter had two votes) I openly suggested to my supporters to bullet vote with sniper like precision for only one candidate: me. I lost—but not by a lot—and even the ultra-crusty Bulletin noted a large number of bullet votes were cast.

Because if you use that second vote you could give it to the other candidate who defeats the one you are strongly supporting by only one vote.

So I really don’t see anything wrong with telling your supporters to withhold that second vote. But I do think it’s obnoxious that candidates don’t have the guts to come out and say it publicly and instead, keep it under the radar by using whispers, phone calls and email.

And—most important--I do see it as a cracking in the coalition of Stein and O’Keeffe, the (less than) Dynamic Duo endorsed by the Bulletin’s 'Amherst Center' columnists and creators of the website 'sustainableamherst' that made such a difference last year but has already become marginalized (both the website and Column).

So apparently now, it’s every man—or woman—for themselves. As for me, I’m voting Greeney and Rhodes.

To: Editor of Hampshire Gazette
From: Irv Rhodes, Candidate for Amherst Select Board
RE: Letter To Editor

It has come to my attention that there are supporters of some Candidates for Amherst Select Board who are recommending that voters vote for only one candidate (the one they want to win) and no other candidates, even though the voter can vote for two candidates of their choice. The perverse reason for this is that by voting for only one candidate and not another candidate you therefore deny another candidate a vote and therefore eliminate the chance of splitting votes away from your candidate of choice. This is reprehensible, unethical and immoral and I will not be a part of it. Amherst voters are supposed to be electing the two best people to the Select Board and thus casting their ballots for the two best candidates. This strategy thwarts this and instead diverts votes away from another worthy candidate. It has another effect, it continues the divisiveness that has been in Amherst for sometime and perpetuates and gives strength to the perception that Amherst is not governed by its best people, but by special interest groups that have the groups interest as their priority rather then Amherst interest as their priority. It is my sincere desire that the other candidates copied on this email urged their supporters to refrain from taking part in this voting scheme and instead urge their supporters to vote for the two best candidates on April 1.
Irv Rhodes

Sunshine is the best antiseptic

Ironically Middle School 'Interium Co-principals' (and only in Amherst would you find such a title) used the ‘West Side Story’ excuse to cave in to ACLU pressure and allow the ‘Chestnut Street Journal’ with an unflattering article about the system go to press.

Like the 1999 High School cancellation of one of the greatest musicals of all time the sorry saga had, indeed, taken on a life of its own—and, as usual, not very flattering to the venerable Amherst School system.

Besides, even the clueless administrators figured out the article was already distributed widely on the web by the crusty Gazette and hip cyberzine Local Buzz, both of whom covered extensively the recent ‘Vagina Monologues’ fiasco at the High School.

Of course administrators whine about the ACLU involvement (unfortunately less effective with ‘West Side Story’) because the kids and parents unleashed them without first going thru proper channels, as in faculty advisors or administrators.

But considering the Front Page article dealt with kids feeling the school Powers That Be don’t listen to them, is anyone surprised they brought in the heavy artillery before using peashooters?

Let’s hope the kids start their own blog.

NOT Only in Amherst

Colors of Spring

Gone in 60 seconds.

Dispatch described the perp as a middle-aged white male wanted on an outstanding warrant for something benign like ‘failure to appear.’ As I entered the elegant establishment he was seated at the bar with a classy looking woman in her late 30’s or early 40’s with shoulder long curly black hair and a fur coat draped over the adjacent bar-stool, not your typical Amherst fashion statement.

As I started to approach, eyes focused on him, she turned her head slowly and smoothly--without moving her upper torso--to casually glance over her right shoulder; her right arm, blocked from view by her body, also moved smoothly…revealing a handgun lining up directly on me.

Simultaneous shots ring out. We both die. Damn it!

The fatal encounter was part of a training exercise for the Amherst Citizens Police Academy, an eight-week program I took over a decade ago. The laserdisc (a predecessor to DVD) projected onto a large screen, and contained hundreds of interactive scenarios where you as a police officer make life or death split-second decisions.

I was so distraught over the incident (having aced the first two) that I called the training supervisor the next day to asked him “what the hell did I do wrong”? “Nothing,” he said. “There are a couple of scenarios specifically designed for you to die, because that, unfortunately, is the nature of our business.”

I thought about that a lot the other day when I first heard about the gunshot death of Officer Matthew Morelli in Norwalk, Connecticut.

Officer Morelli, an 11-year veteran of the force, former combat Marine, and volunteer firefighter out on “routine patrol” radioed that he was investigating “suspicious activity” and requested backup. When brother officers arrived only 60 seconds later they discovered every cops worst nightmare: officer down.

As my very limited training experience revealed: In law enforcement there’s no such thing as “routine.”

Petty small town politics

AMHERST BULLETIN
Letters
Published on March 21, 2008

Amused by signs o' the times ... or not

To the Bulletin: I find it amusing that Mrs. Greeney, who just last week was so taken by the "visual pollution" of campaign signs, has chosen to erect her bright red campaign signs on the pristine and public Wentworth Farm Conservation Land along Route 9.

I do feel that her position on campaign signs - critical of her opponents' blue signs on private land, while placing her red signs on public land - to be indicative of her voting record these past three years on the Select Board.

Oh, the throes of "sign-gate" continue.

Baer Tierkel
Amherst

Talkback: Opinion
Leave your comment: Larry Kelley Thurs, Mar 20, 2008 at 08:47 PM

So did Baer Tierkel actually observe Mrs. Greeney herself, in person erect her bright red campaign sign on the pristine and public Wentworth Farm Conservation Land?

If so, he probably has way too much time on his hands; if not he should consider the possibility it was an anonymous overzealous supporter.

And Hwei-Ling’s supporters seem to be nothing if not passionate--something Amherst Bulletin Columnist Tierkel’s endorsed candidates could use a bit more of.

##########################################################

Baer “The Turk” Tierkel pontificates about a Hwei-Ling Greeney sign sprouting on town public property, eh?

Of course a few weeks back Mr. Tierkel, a monthly Amherst Bulletin columnist, endorsed candidates O’Keefe and Stein--both of whom use blue lawn signs with white letters (what are the odds?)--in his cooperative column know as “Amherst Center”, aptly named since the thing you most often find in the center of the road is dead squirrels.

And back when I was a professional columnist for the ultra-crusty Bulletin my editor advised me not to write “Letters to the Editor” between columns (reminding me I was paid for my columns but not letters).

But since the Amherst Center folks probably are unpaid I guess Mr. Tierkel needs that “added value” of free PR for his anointed candidate by throwing mud at the opponent.


(PS: Yeah, I staged the photo above, but for all we know so didn't somebody else with the Greeney sign at Wentworth Farm )

Hats off to Bill (all three of them)

Bill Dwight will probably choke on his coffee with this analogy but my appearance on his radio show this morning reminded me of my first appearance on the O’Reilly Factor TV show four years ago to discuss Amherst being the only High School in the nation to perform ‘Vagina Monologues.’

Bill O’Reilly obviously agreed with my stand (the show should not go on) so there was no verbal sparring. And the other Bill this morning agreed that the parade is a celebration not a protest, so we had nothing to fight about either (darn—I had even stretched out before heading to Hamp.)

Yeah, I am getting a tad spoiled by blogging as I did let slip the word “bitch”. WHMP has an eight second delay but allowed it on the air since context is everything and the FCC would not mind me calling Osama Bid Laden a son of a bitch.

Bill Dwight also said he would march in the Amherst July 4'th Parade, so maybe we can place him next to the Town Manger.

Yesterday a mole in the Amherst Town Democratic Committee gave us a draft letter they are still working on (since late February no less):


The Amherst Town Democratic Committee may be interested in participating in the 4’th of July Parade in downtown Amherst this year.

Please kindly regard this as our official application to participate. We anticipate that those parading may exercise the rights that the U.S. Constitution, including the 1’st Amendment, guarantees to all Americans.

Please let us know in writing whether this will be acceptable. We would appreciate a reply with the next month.

Sincerely Yours,

H Oldham Brooks
Chair of the Democratic Committee

Of course Mr. Brooks is no longer Chair having lost the election last week to more moderate Leo Maley and extremist Mary Wentworth also lost reelection as Vice Chair.

See what happens when you lead your organization into an ill-conceived war?

During the second 15 minute segment we mostly talked about the current “only in Amherst” episode splashed on the Front Page of today’s Gazette where the Middle School administrators censored an article in the school newspaper unflattering to the institution.

The kids polled 175 students and discovered as Bill Dwight so aptly put it “school sucks” (yes, I guess you can say that on the radio). The school spiked the story and ACLU spokesman Bill Newman has already gotten involved.

So the school system that allowed teen agers to use the C-word, and feign masturbation to orgasm on stage as part of the their First Amendment rights censor Middle Schoolers who express unflattering sentiments about the venerable school system.

As Bill Newman said in 1999 at a rally I organized in favor of ‘West Side Story,’ after the school cancelled it: “The way to counter bad speech is with good speech, not suppression.” Amen.
UPDATE: Friday 6:15 PM Besides the AP, the story was also picked up by these folks:
LawFolks
DC news blog
Crusty Gazette Comments
And the next day as well

Back from the Brink

The 20-minute meeting with the Town Manager went well. He confirmed that he would allow Police and Fire personnel to march in the Amherst July 4'th Parade (So I assume that means in their official town uniforms) and that he would march as well (as he did last year).

Mr. Shaffer wants to see in writing the new policy that the Gazette mistakenly headlined as “loosening”.” The policy to allow any group to carry ONE banner or sign designating the legal name of the group is not really relaxing anything--it is more of a “clarification.”

He also said he was not going to do anything—like pull police and fire equipment--due to “hypotheticals”. As in the last two years when we did this kind of meeting, he wants us to be as “inclusive” as possible.

So we will be, up to a point. An anti-war group can march as long as the legal name of the group contains that sentiment. Abortion groups—pro or con, Gay rights groups—pro or con, and Nuclear War groups—pro or con, probably will not gain entry.

And if the Amherst Town Democratic Committee wants to boycott as they did last year that’s fine. It did not seem to keep Congressman John Olver, State Senator Stan Rosenberg or State Representative Ellen Story from marching.

And the winners are...

Nope, not her. So much for the 'Power of the Blog.'

And the winners are...

Yes, the Amherst Taxpayers for Responsible Change met last night (appropriately enough at the Rod and Gun Club) and overwhelmingly endorsed two Select board candidates. Both of whom I voted to support.

But I can't tell you who they are until the Ultra Crusty Bulletin goes to press. Gotta throw them a bone once in a while (although their editor is probably a vegan).

The Amherst July 4'th Parade Committee Executive Circle will be meeting with Mr. Laurence Shaffer Amherst Town Manager at 4:00 PM this afternoon in his office. (notice I didn't call him "Boss Hogg") No I will not blog live from there--although I assume it will be a short meeting.

And I make a return visit to Bill Dwight's WHMP radio show tomorrow morning at 9:30 AM to talk about whatever pisses me off at that moment.

Should old acquaintance be forgot...

I have beheld the Power of the Media from every possible angle: as a reporter, columnist, frequent Letter To the Editor contributor in print; as well as national news appearances on radio, TV, Cable and an early adopter off all things Internet—chat groups, listserves, and The Drudge Report.

But I have never encountered a more perfect weapon for the lone individual than this, the blog.

Seamlessly melding photos, audio, video with text made instantly available to anyone in the world (except China) via the simple button click is nothing short of revolutionary.

I once thought that if a tree fell in the forest and a reporter was not there to cover it than, indeed, it did not make a sound. These days’ chances are a motivated blogger will witness and record the event.

The Bricks and Mortar media can’t be everywhere 24/7. And they have advertisers to worry about and corporate owners who worry about offending their advertisers.

Bloggers are everywhere. And it only takes one to get the story out.

A year ago yesterday I started this blog figuring at the very least it would get me writing three or four times a week. Little did I know that it would sometimes become three or four times a day.

I think of this blog the same way I do my small business—obsessively. Allowing me--when things get rough--to draw strength from that core American value, pride of ownership.

(Now if only I can keep my cool when I spend two weeks in China!)

Happy St. Patrick's Day

And in Massachusetts state workers in Suffolk County are pretty happy, as they get the day off. Although technically I think it's called 'Evacuation Day' to commemorate the Brits turning tail and leaving Boston under pressure from cannons above (damn sneaky American).

Although at the airport coming down here on Friday I did see a commercial from Guinness asking folks to sign an Internet petition to make St. Patrick's Day a national holiday (kind of funny that a Brit company wants to establish an American holiday--but they would probably prefer we celebrate St. Patrick rather than a British defeat)

Yeah, I know today marks the One Year Anniversary of my blog. And yeah I should have something thoughtful to say. But I'm still in Florida, the sun is shining (74 degrees at 8:30 am)we need to get in our second day at Busch Gardens, get to the airport by 5:00 pm so Kira and I can fly home and Donna can fly to China.

And yeah, I'm watching as closely as I can the events in Tibet.

When a dollar is not a dollar (Only in Amherst)

So even from Florida I can, finally, read about the 70-K water debt discovered by a rookie Amherst meter reader.

Because this is not exactly a Watergate kind of story the Bricks and Mortar media left out some context: Amherst water system does not differentiate between water and sewer, although each is billed at $3 per cubic foot (1,500 gallons). Every drop that comes into a home is considered a drop that exits via the sewer system. So essentially, all Amherst homeowners pay $6 per cubic foot.

Thus when we water our lawns or wash the car in the spring and summer we really pay twice what we should. So I’m hoping town officials charged the car wash for both water and sewer (and 99% of their usage does leave via the sewer).

Thus the $70,000 is evenly split between two separate Enterprise Funds each costing about $3.5 million annually to operate. But the state says that all monies within an Enterprise Fund have to stay within that fund and cannot be used for teachers, police or library books.

Hence Town Officials (other than DPW, of course who ride on herd on them) don’t care about the Water, Sewer, or Solid Waste Fund. And they only took interest in the Transportation Fund when they stretched the law to siphon off $100-K for outreach PVTA buses that get sparse ridership.

And that is why the Select board, acting as Sewer Commissioners, were so quick to flush down the toilet the $40-K in effluent water Umass uses for heat (but will soon be using to irrigate extensive recreation fields and in the new Science Building for cooling thus potentially doubling their usage of effluent…and why not? The town has given them a Use-All-You-Want-Free card.

So that’s why I’m confused the Town Manager had to get the Select board to officially vote to give Umass the freebie (a close 3-2 vote with 2 of the 3 Yes votes having economic ties to Umass) but when another large user is inadvertently not charged for five years do to a billing error the Select board suddenly has no role?

Mutual Aid Trade Imbalance

Amount of Amherst PD overtime spent assisting Umass PD $18,500
Amount of Umass PD overtime spent assisting Amherst PD $00.00

Yeah, so much for His Lordship Gerry Weiss grand scheme to seamlessly meld Umass and Amherst Police Departments in order to save Amherst taxpayers money.

Amount of Effluent Water consumed by Umass over past eight months (at previous rate of one-sixth normal water rate): $24,204

And as we just found out with the Car Washwater fiasco (5 years without a bill): a few gallons here and a few gallons there, pretty soon you’re talking real money.

Must have been a B-52

So the DPW spent all summer repaving North East Street/Henry Street and already we get this? (click photo to enlarge)

Keenan on the case!

Who better to get excited about the interest free $70-K Water/Sewer debt owed by a multi-million dollar corporation than current Select board candidate (and former Select board member) Dave Keenan, pictured talking to reporter Scott Merzbach of the ultra-crusty Amherst Bulletin trying to interest him in this story. He was on "deadline" (dog bites man story no doubt) so he would would get back to Dave on Thursday.

Keenan recently paid the town $50,000 in overdue property tax and water/sewer bills dating back ten years with over half that amount due to interest (16%) and legal fees.

Keenan confirmed John Musante, new Assistant Town Manager (with a retroactive $10,000 raise), worked out the terms of the contract with F.L. Roberts and that our esteemed Select board, who are also the Water/Sewer Commissioners, were never told about this monstrous outstanding back balance. Hmmm…

Water, water everywhere (and it's free)

Better late than never

So I suppose if you’re in the water/sewer business (even if you ARE a monopoly) a Car Wash is one consumer you may want to be especially vigilant with.

This F.L. Roberts operation on Rt. 9 at the gateway to the People’s Republic enjoyed five years without a bill…until just recently. $70,000! No interest charged, of course since it was the town’s boo boo.

Hey, you think they could have thrown in free car washes for municipal vehicles for a year. His Lordship’s rolling sign looks like it could use a cleaning.

The Show Will Go On!

The all-volunteer July 4’th Parade Committee, after a pyrotechnic discussion, voted unanimously to continue the tradition of an old fashioned Parade through downtown Amherst on America’s birthday, and to stick to our original 2002 Mission Statement of honoring public servants--police, fire and military.

Any group that wishes to march may carry ONE sign or banner bearing the name of their official association. IF the name of that organization happens to carry the moniker “...against the war,” so be it.

We also reminded ourselves, that it’s all about the kids.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

So my friends over at Free Republic are in a tizzy over my photo of Gerry Weiss’s chariot. Not so much for all the goofy late-60’s early-70’s bumper stickers but for my daring to mention (although I did do it in parenthesis, meaning the writer did so as an afterthought and didn’t really view it as all that important) the car was “foreign”. Funny, somebody called it so very 90’s (well at least I’m a couple decades ahead of Weiss). The poor women who posted it--one of the very few Freepers living in Amherst I bet--kept saying, “It’s not about the car!”
Free Republic: click if you dare!

UPDATE: 12:00 NOON (Daylight Savings time): Hey FREEPERS! While I have your attention, click on this other "Only In (Anti-American) Amherst" story:
Town threatens to steal 7/4 Parade

On the radio, waaahooooo

Even Uber Liberal Vannah seems to get it

And the Sunday Republican got around to the Illegal Immigrations story otherwise known as His Lordship's Folly. A little late maybe, but prominently placed on front of 'Local Section', not to mention Sunday being the Republican's highest print run, highest readership day (you know, have that second cup of coffee because you actually have the time to read the darn thing):

Here We Go Again

Hmmm…

Friday 3:00 pm: Yeah, nice mug shot (click photo to enlarge). AND they spelled my name correctly. But I’m still pissed! So I have a 7/4 Parade Meeting at the VFW tonight at 7:00 pm where all of this (the annual Tempest in a Teapot, although this year it’s starting early) will be discussed and voted on.

So I will upload later this weekend. Grrrrrrr
UPDATE: 3:15 PM. My long-time associate Max Hartshorne just posted a funny blip about
me on his popular blog and I naturally had to add a response:

GONOMAD

UPDATE: 10:00 PM. So tonight’s July 4 Parade Committee meeting was by far the most contentious in the six years of our existence. Yeah, we almost packed it in. But then you ask yourself the simply question: Is this right or wrong? And the answer was as obvious as the grand finale at a July 4 fireworks on a perfect New England night.

His Lordship's Carriage

So is anyone surprised this is the billboard—I mean (foreign) car, that Amherst Select board Chair Gerry Weiss drives? Businesses in town center have to pay Amherst $350 annually for sandwich board sign permits.

But not Mr. Weiss for this rolling sign (click photo to enlarge).

No Harm, No Foul?

"No agent, officer or employee of the Town of Amherst, in the performance of official duties, shall assist or cooperate with the Immigration and Naturalization Service of the United States in the investigation or arrest of any persons for civil or criminal violations of the immigration and nationality laws of the United States."

"There's no need for local police to get involved in what is a federal issue, immigration," Weiss said at the routine Monday Comedy Night (Only In) Amherst Select Board meeting. The proposed bylaw would handcuff Amherst police from enforcing immigration laws. "It doesn't serve any good purpose, in my mind," Weiss said

Amherst already voted in 2000 to have the Police Department ignore Marijuana laws (although if you go to their blog the current post indicates one arrest for pot possession over the weekend). Mr. Weiss also on Monday directed the Town Manager not to charge rally organizers for extra police required to chaperone the Extravaganga pot festival next month.

Now His Lordship wants Amherst PD--state certified law enforcement professionals known for their honesty, integrity and dedication--to ignore Federal immigration law.

Of course other Federal jurisdictions include assassinating the President of the United States, kidnapping, arson and assault (didn’t we just allow our High School to perform “Vagina Monologues’ to reduce assaults against women?). How far will this go Mr. Weiss?

Seven of the 19 hijackers held fraudulent passports and three had overstayed their visas. If Mr. Weiss’s goofy, illegal by-law were in effect seven years ago and an Amherst Police officer stopped one of them for a routine traffic violation heading to Logan Airport on 9/11, they would be forced to allow them on their evil way.

Fine with Weiss--especially if it had been the one targeting the White House.


UPDATE: 4:30 PM (Wednesday). So I hope I did not get my fellow bloggers over at Amherst Police Department in trouble as I posted a comment on their blog pertaining to an arrest over the weekend for pot and linked it to Mr. Weiss's current idiotic idea not to enforce Federal Immigration Law.
Amherst Police Dept Blog

Live from Northampton!

A few of you asked if I was being “set up” by Bill Dwight during my appearance on his news radio talk show this morning (“Progressive” station WHMP) to discuss the July 4’th Parade policy of restricting political messages immediately after an earnest representative of the “Iraq Veterans Against The War’. Hmmm…

Well what the Hell am I, a warmonger?

Bill was sick so Chris Collins—wayyyyy closer to my brand of politics but also as misunderstood as yours truly—ran the show.

During my interview's first commercial break I mentioned how much I respected the previous guest, a man who stood in harms way to serve his country and now invokes his most cherished right as an American to question the policy of our government.

Yeah, and maybe if Mr. Dwight were controlling the microphone he would have directly challenged me as to why they, Iraq Veterans Against The War couldn’t march. Or Viet Nam Veterans Against The War, a group founded in 1967 and still active today.

After all the Parade mission is to honor public servants—police, fire and military.

Interestingly when I returned to my Athletic Club an hour later Kevin Joy, Parade chair was waiting for me. And we talked about it. This Friday the committee will discuss allowing any group to carry ONE sign identifying who they are. And if the name of the group happens to have the words “against the war” as part of their official name, so be it.

If, however, their name has the initials KKK, NAMBLA or reads “Citizens in favor of 9/11” they need not apply.

Gotta love their waiting room art.

Thanks for the great intro Chris!

Rally for Pot? Yes! Rally for America???

So naturally last night his Lordship Select board Chair Gerry Weiss took great pride announcing he had brow beat the (Only In) Amherst Town Manager--vacationing in the Barbados, so what the Hell does he care--into dropping the idea of charging the Umass Cannabis Reform Coalition for their added impact on public safety to chaperon the Pot Rally next month.

Where was Mr. Weiss when The Grinch of a Town Manager stubbornly refused to relent on charging the Boy Scouts a tax on a sixty-year Christmas tree sales tradition?

So now it will be interesting to see if Mr. Weiss champions the July 4’th Parade Committee when we ask for a fee waiver of extra police. After all, town officials seem to think the Parade is a “political statement.”

Ultimately Dead

So I can only hope this 'Night of the Living Dead' episode has come to its final conclusion--and the dead stay dead!

It s the old "supply and demand" routine and in this case, like the game of golf, too much supply and not enough demand. Coincidentally ˜Planet Fitness' in Hadley, the New Kids on the Block, just opened their doors (after signing people up for the last six months or so).

According to the Crusty Amherst Bulletin puff piece last October, they spent $1.1 million on renovations and equipment (no wonder it took them so long to finally open).

If you borrowed that amount your monthly payment would be around $10,000 so with those ridiculous $10/month memberships they need 1,000 clients just to cover that mortgage. Then there's rent for 15,000 square feet in a Mall (another 1,000-2,000 members required) salaries, utilities, advertising, insurance (easily another 2,000.) So yeah, if they draw 5,000 members--they got a shot.

Problem is of course ALL the remaining Health Clubs on this side of the river combined don't have a total membership adding up to that.

My original report

Follow Up clarrification

Bad Boys, Bad Boys: what ya going to do?

Damn, I love it when a Umass “Associate Vice Chancellor” gets all excited (non sexually of course)? And he even cites another Vice Chancellor Esther Terry (a “Dr.” no less--like those are rare in the People's Republic) who also seems pretty peeved about these damn sex posters. Furthermore, he even declares the “Chancellor of the institution” (whoever the hell that is) has directed the offending material “that has repeatedly appeared in the window of your shared office be removed permanently and immediately.”

Yikes! Can you imagine sharing an office with the Umass Radical Student Union? Lysol anyone???

UPDATE: Sunday, 3:00 pm. My man Tommy Devine is reporting on his gold standard Blog that the kiddies have once again caved and taken down the posters.
Now you see them now you don't. As I said before Milquetoast!

February 27, 2008
Radical Student Union
Members
Student Union Building

To the members of the Radical Student Union:

Please be advised that the Chancellor of the institution, as you have been duly informed, has directed that the Safe Sex Brochure that has repeatedly appeared in the window of your shared office be removed permanently and immediately.

I am open to discuss the ways in which opportunities exist for your group to promote its cause while removing the brochure from public view, particularly in a building that is often frequented by guests and particularly children and those who might be offended by its visual content. You can feel free to schedule an appointment with me through my Administrative Assistant, Ms. Barbara Paparazzo, in Room 416 of the Student Union Building at your earliest convenience.

Please note that I have been advised by the Vice Chancellor for Student Life, Dr. Esther Terry, that if the brochure continues to be posted in visible proximity of the public walkways of this building, that further disciplinary action may be taken collectively or individually against members of your organization. Furthermore, you stand to loose the privilege of occupying university space in the future if this action should continue.

Sincerely,
Byron Bullock
Associate Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs & Campus Life

cc: Dr.Esther Terry
Shaun Jameson

Reactions

Hell, I think the comments are more interesting than Friday's Gazette story on the July 4 Parade disaster in the making. Look for the Springfield Republican to follow up the next day or two. Naturally the Town Manager got out of Dodge (hiding in the Barbados) for the next two weeks so the Springfield Republican probably will not be able to quote him. But I do have his cell phone number. Hmmm....


Cave Man's Girl [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 12:34 PM]
It is amazing what they will drag out to make their point. Like, yeah, OK, good thing we set up rules that will exclude the major KKK presence we have here in Amherst. Good Lord, get real.

Larry Kelley [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 02:47 PM]
There is also not a very high presence of KKK in South Boston Ms. Cave Man's Girl (I hope you're keeping Mr. Cave Man happy) but that did not stop them from requesting to march in the St. Patrick's Day Parade in the early 90's That was, of course DENIED, as was the Irish gay group that wanted to march (and I believe an abortion group either pro or anti I can't remember which). And the Supreme Court (you know who they are) ruled 9-0 that the Parade committee could do so because of THEIR First Amendment rights. And as for NAMBLA, you have to wonder if maybe FORMER Amherst Regional High School (you know, your alma mater) English teacher Ronald T. Garney was a member or not.

John [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 08:05 AM]
I can see the headlines now. Amherst Town Manager refuses to allow Firefighters and Police Officers to be honored on July 4th. Meanwhile towns people vote to reduce public safety in order to fund private agencies. This is how it will read outside of Amherst and the town which already is thought of as out of touch with reality will be made to look even more foolish. As for Larry Shaffer, it will just be another headline that he so craves.

Nancy Slator [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 08:22 AM]
How does it celebrate freedom to hold a parade that only allows people of one political view to particiapate?

Larry Kelley [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 09:06 AM]
That's precisely the point Nancy: the Parade doesn't have a "political view." Obviously you do.

Matthias [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 07:05 PM]
The people of Amherst clearly have way too much free time on their hands. Why can't they have a simple 4th of July parade without turning it into a circus. Fourth celebrations are intended to honor our country and the great men and women who serve. Can't protests take place the other 364 days of the year. Or are the anti-war crowd such incorrigible attention mongers.

BC [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 03:46 PM]
If they want "Everyone" then it'd be nice for Westboro Baptist to show up wouldn't it. That'd be exactly the type of participation the town wants, right? What they really mean is they want all the PC protesters to hijack the parade, and nothing else.

Disturbing

So this has thus far been an interesting week—as in the Chinese curse “may you live in interesting times.”

On Monday I learned about a meeting (that we were not invited to) between three political groups who have all made individual bombing runs at the July 4’th Parade and failed to do any damage but now they’ve combined forces and want the Town Manager to implement the nuclear option—pulling town vehicles this year and taking over the Parade next year.

Then on Tuesday, I return to my Club at noon (having opened at 5:35 am until 10:00 am) and discover a portable electric heater in the downstairs aerobics room had been carefully placed face down directly on a wood floor with a layer of paper towels in between. Yikes!

Also on Tuesday morning my post ‘Umass Tiananmen Square?” just completely disappeared without a trace. Blogger guru Tommy Devine asked if I always sign out from blogger because that leaves a half-hour window for a hacker to get in. Naturally I never sign out (until now of course).

And today I get an email from another computer guru in Amherst saying Comcast is censoring this humble blog from emails within the Comcast system.

So if you are a Comcast customer (which I am, but I use my AOL account for email) and you make the mistake of using the term http:://onlyintherepublicofamherst.blogspot.com in an email to a friend, it will end up in the cyber incinerator.

Strangely enough for a blog about Amherst only half my readers are from the People’s Republic but, of those, the vast majority are Comcast customers.

And I just now picked up a copy of the ultra-crusty Amherst Bulletin and discovered that instead of 2 ads for this blog and 3 for my Athletic Club I got 4 blog ads and only 1 for my Club.

So now the next time I get into a firefight with a pimple faced 17-year-old, they will say I should spend more time on my business and less time and money on this…whatever the Hell you call this.

Patriotic Pyrotechnics

The July 4’th Parade Committee has made it crystal clear from inception that we are a non-profit, non-political, family-oriented event with a Mission Statement to honor our Guardian Angels—Police/Fire/EMT and yes, Military.

The Supreme Court decided unanimously (overturning a Massachusetts Court)--precisely because of the First Amendment--we can exclude marchers carrying signs that circumvent our Mission Statement.

If The People’s Republic of Amherst steals the July 4'th Parade then they would have to allow the KKK, NAMBLA, and the Hells Angels to march, or ride as the case may be.

If I purchase a full-page ad in the local newspaper to say “Happy Birthday America” on July 4’th, I don’t expect somebody to demand part of my ad-space for their anti-war statement. They can buy their own ad.

And if war protesters (or supporters for that matter) want to march, they can finance their own Parade. Only in Amherst would government nationalize something private citizens have worked hard to build.

Maybe Fidel Castro should retire to Amherst.

UPDATE: 4:222 PM So, yeah the Town Manager has called Kevin since this post went up and left a very short message to call him back. But I do have on my Mac another recording from yesterday when he left a second message (apparently not knowing that it is perfectly legal to post messages left on answering machines), so stay tuned.

UPDATE: 7:17 PM Well, the Crusty Gazette is on it! Kevin and I both did interviews late this afternoon and we could tell from the reporter's questions (after interviewing Shaffer) that he's not overly pleased (Shaffer not the reporter) and is trying to portray us as the troublemakers who love to pick a fight.

But this came out of the blue, whereby a fringe group of malcontents banded together and finagled a meeting with Shaffer to purposely and with malice sabotage the Parade. And we were not invited to the meeting.

So in the next few days the Parade Committee will get a formal request in the mail to allow Mary Wentworth to march in the Parade carrying a "F_ck Bush" sign and we will deny the request and the town will pull their equipment. Only in Amherst.

Umass Tiananmen Square?

Okay so somehow yesterday’s post disappeared. I’ll have a barnburner later this morning.I think it went something like this:

The Umass Radical Union must not have liked my calling them milquetoast. On Monday they reposted in a public space their how-to sex posters in defiance of Umass authorities who took them down on Friday. Yeah, as the posters say “safe sex can be fun.”

Story Goes National

Amherst 7/4 Parade Fireworks

What would the Amherst July 4’th Parade be like without Amherst police, fire or ambulance apparatus in the line of march? An embarrassment!

There they go again! The Amherst Town Democratic Committee “corralled” like-minded activist groups to meet with Amherst Town Manager Larry Shaffer to discuss pulling town equipment from the Parade because we will not open it up to anyone and anything looking for exposure on that day. And yes, we pay for our Police detail to direct traffic (unlike the Pot Rally folks)

http://www.amherstdemocrats.org/
Old Business:

Private Amherst 4th of July Parade: Being fond of our 1st Amendment rights, ADTC has refrained for 2 years from participating.

On 2 days' notice, Town Mgr. Larry Schaffer carved out time for an open meeting on Friday, 21 Feb., with ADTC Chair Harry Brooks; the Chairs of the Green & Republican Town Committees; League of Women Voters; & SAGE, to consider concerns that many of us share.

More on this patriotic/matriotic effort later.

From: AmherstAC@aol.com
Sent: Monday, February 25, 2008 12:24 PM
To: Shaffer, Larry
Subject: 7/4 Parade

Larry,
If Amherst is going to pull police and fire apparatus from the Parade this year we would appreciate a heads up as early as possible. And we would also have appreciated an invite to the "open meeting" last Friday morning that you carved out time for on only two days notice.
Larry Kelley
July 4'th Parade Committee


From: Shaffer, Larry
To: AmherstAC@aol.com
Sent: Mon, 25 Feb 2008 1:31 pm
Subject: RE: 7/4 Parade

Larry,
We should talk. Have you rejected any applications for perspective participants in the 4th of July parade for 2008?
Larry

From: amherstac@aol.com
To: ShafferL@amherstma.gov
Sent: Mon, 25 Feb 2008 1:58 pm
Subject: Re: 7/4 Parade

Larry,
No, we have not. And in fact, we have never officially rejected anybody since reconstituting the Parade in 2002.
Larry

And the cards...came tumbling down.

Well I guess the UMsss Radical Student Union should reinvent themselves as the Milquetoast Student Union (and form a Strategic Alliance with Hampshire College). I just hope they don’t bring their placards to Amherst Regional High School. Condoms anyone?

The Illustrations in question
CH 3 TV reports

From: Brad DeFlumeri
To: amherstac@aol.com
Sent: Sun, 24 Feb 2008 12:58 am
Subject: Sex Posters Update

Larry,

The posters in question were removed by UMass authorities at approximately noon yesterday, Friday, 22 February 2008.

Shortly thereafter, some members of the Radical Student Union were spotted sobbing and screaming about the 1st Amendment outside their office. (I am not making this up.) Also, the school [mistakenly?] removed posters of Malcolm X in the process of taking down the gay sex posters.

Thanks for covering this matter on your Blog, I have received an outpouring of support from closet conservatives in the community, among many others.

Take Care,

Brad DeFlumeri
President, UMASS Republican Club
Petty Officer, United States Naval Reserve

Saturday morning reflections

Who would have thunk?

The Crusty Gazette actually has a sense of humor--probably not about me calling them Crusty however. From today’s “Gazette News Quiz” (and it even gets a pull quote headline):

Until close to the performance date, which of these was supposed to be a requirement before students could attend “The Vagina Monologues” at Amherst Regional High School?

A: Confiscation of non-fairly traded chocolate bars
B: Blood testing for traces testosterone
C: Breathalyzer testing
D: Singing a song from “West Side Story”

And even the next question of the week (2 out of 10 ain’t bad) relates to ‘VM’:

And while we’re at it: Marina Goldman brought an object to Firday’s performance of “The Vagina Monologues” referring to it as something that “only gets to come out once a year.” It was:
A: Pillow depicting the female body
B: A 10-foot letter ‘V’ mad of Amherst Athletic Club handbills
C: A signed copy of Eve Ensler’s firs one-woman show “All about me (ve)”
D: A grammatically correct Emily Dickinson doll

Of course my Athletic Club has not used “handbills” to advertise in almost 10 years., you know since the advent of the Digital Age. Yet another reason I refer to them as Crusty.

UPDATE: High-noon (ish)
Okay since a few folks asked, my list would have been...
Until close to the performance date, which of these was supposed to be a requirement before students could attend “The Vagina Monologues” at Amherst Regional High School?:

A: Yell the C-word while thrusting both arms skyward like Mary Lou Retton did when sticking her dismount to capture Olympic Gold.
B: Blood testing all males for traces of Estrogen
C: Breathalyzer testing (but have them blow into a condom)
D: Recite—in its entirety-- the Pledge of Allegiance.

UPDATE: 5:15 PM. Yeah it's snowing (welcome to New England)

UPDATE: Saturday 6:30 PM. Couldn't possibley add to this:
Hide the Kids

Don't let the Sunnnn go down on me...

First Amendment Tomfoolery

The Umass ‘Rally for Public Decency’ put on by the, gasp, Republican Club, had a pretty good turnout considering the freezing weather—anywhere between 50 to 75 folks, mostly students, but a smattering of Umass officials (looking bored), cops, bloggers and the bricks-and-mortar media (Ch 3 TV with spiffy bright blue overcoats).

Of course the battle lines/spin are predictable: The Radical Student Union portrays the Republican Club as homophobic, and they in turn portray the issue as “sexual harassment” (making the general pubic uncomfortable via sexual images) and say it has nothing to do with gayness.

Somehow between 5:30 am and noon (rally time) I misplaced my camera. Ouch! A blogger without his camera is like a fish without a bicycle.

But nothing noteworthy as far as “bang-bang” occurred where I would be tempted to use the video setting. The signs were all hand made poster paper, although the wood podium from which the speakers delivered their oratory bore the official Umass logo (the one they nixed the word “Amherst” from a few years back)

I hung with my Irish, blogger compatriot Tommy Devine for most of the time I was there. And since he’s gay, I will be most interested to read his take on this tempest (and to steal some of his photos).

Undoubtedly if the Republican Club posted cut out photos from Hustler or Penthouse Magazines, in a public space, on state property there would be an eruption to rival Mt. Vesuvius.

I love the comments in today’s Collegian from Shaun Jamieson - the assigned advisor for both groups in the Office of Student Affairs: "I think that there are definite free speech issues with the flyer, but I think that there are concerns about whether or not it's appropriate," he said. "There's also good arguments that I've heard on both sides for keeping it up and taking it down and I just want to help both groups express themselves in the marketplace of ideas."

Ummm, glad he’s not a NORAD commandeer trying to decide whether to shoot down a civilian commercial jet hurtling towards a Nuclear Power Plant.

I support gay-marriage, but I’m a happily married hetero. And I would not be pleased with vivid illustrations of sex between a man and a women prominently posted on public property where kids could see it.

A Umass spokesperson said rather declaratively "The Radical Student Union will be required to remove the display." They in turn, pretty much replied: go to Hell.

When the cops move in to enforce the order, all they need do is arm themselves with bars of soap.

Bookends

One goes down...

And another comes up.

There you go again!

So my former karate student Max Karson is at again. Having been given one year probation after his arrest for allegedly making fellow students “uncomfortable” at a University of Colorado ‘Women’s Studies’ class a day after the exceedingly awful Virginia Tech massacre by observing that anyone who has not thought about killing 32 people is a “liar.”

And this time it hits a little closer to home. Max’s recent column (not an "editorial" and clearly labeled "opinion") in The Campus Press has created an uproar by using almost every racist stereotype ever invented for Asians. As some of you may know my daughter Kira, now an All American Girl, was born—and abandoned the same day—in The People’s Republic of China.

FoxNews is on it!

I guess the only thing that surprises me is Max is identified as an “editor” at that paper. Obviously based on past history Max is hardly a team player who would thoughtfully edit the writing of others.

Let’s see, when Max was suspended at Amherst Regional High School four times--but always reinstated after getting plenty of press. He wrote about—in addition to masturbation--gays, blacks, and women all in less than a stellar light (well...except for maybe masturbation).

Maybe it had to do with his mother leaving his dad for another women when Max was still at an impressionable age. Or maybe he, like a lot people, just loves the attention. Obviously he knows how to push buttons with his “satire” for maximum exposure.

Interestingly the Daily Hampshire Gazette, his hometown paper for the majority of his life, who editorially supported 'The Vagina Monologues' at ARHS, had little sympathy for Max:

Karson is now offending people as a student at the University of Colorado in Boulder, where he has been distributing an outrageous newsletter called "The Yeti," which is also packed with vulgar language.

Karson thinks he's doing us all a favor by pushing the limits of free speech, but free speech is not without responsibilities. Karson has a right to his opinions, but his fellow students have a right to react to what they find hostile and offensive and to protect themselves in the face of threatening remarks.

To the best of my knowledge Max never used the C-word.

Sure, you can’t yell “fire” in a crowded movie theatre; but you can bellow it at the beach on hot summer afternoon with waves crashing all around. Context means everything. And anyone who knows Max Karson’s background realizes that he thinks he’s being cute, while hoping folks become enraged. And apparently they have…again.

When ACLU attorney Bill Newman spoke at my rally to support ‘West Side Story’ after the Amherst Regional High School cancelled it he said, “The way to counter bad speech is with good speech.” Amen! Please, let's not make Max a First Amendment suicide bomber.

Although with his pathetic karate skills, Max better watch his step over the next few days…because, you know those Asians—they’re all Martial Arts experts.

The greater of two evils

What’s worse: Amherst Regional High School’s canceling ‘West Side Story’ or later embracing ‘The Vagina Monologues’?

Four years ago when ARHS became the only high school in the nation to perform ‘VM”, I couldn’t quite decide. Like asking a death row inmate to choose between the electric chair or cyanide gas.

But now that Amherst school officials have allowed adolescents to reprise that feminist manifesto, we have a winner!

In 1999 a 17-year-old Puerto Rican girl collected 158 (out of 1,300) student signatures on a petition decrying the production of ‘West Side Story’ for the annual school play because of ethnic (hers in particular) stereotyping. The School Committee took it a tad too seriously and things went downhill pronto.

Although School Superintendent at the time Gus Sayer showed some backbone with his original memo on the matter: "No group, neither in the majority nor in the minority, should have the ability to censor the decisions our community’s educators make about what to teach, what to read, or what to produce on the stage.”

But bureaucrats can be spineless. Sayer backed off, as he didn’t want to micromanage the High School Principal. and the School Committee did nothing as they didn’t want to micromanage the system.

Six months prior to the ‘West Side Story’ rumble, however, another enterprising 17-year-old activist collected 400 signatures on a petition protesting the policy of restricting students ‘off campus privileges’ during the school day, thus preventing kids from going out for a smoke.

Superintendent Sayer sympathized: “It’s not easy for students who are addicted to refrain from smoking all day”, while also applauding their “activism.”

Izzy Lyman, then co-director of the private Harkness Road High School, said with a sigh, “makes me long for the days when the only rights students had were the right to remain silent.”

To summarize: when the ‘West Side Story’ fiasco started the School Committee deferred to Superintendent Sayer, who deferred to Principal Scott Goldman who deferred to the play’s producers…who caved, saying the controversy had become too “distracting.”

And so Amherst Regional High School became the only entity in history (a record still intact) to cancel a play based on the timeless Shakespearean tragic love story ‘Romeo and Juliet’.

One of the more famous ARHS (1989) graduates Eric Mabius, recently voted “Sexiest man alive” by People Magazine started his career as Paris in ARHS production of ‘Romeo and Juliet.’ Luckily he attended our bucolic High School back in the pre-activism days .

At a rally I organized on the Town Common to support ‘West Side Story’ about 100 folks attended, a few high school students, parents--but mostly media. State Senator Stan Rosenberg and ACLU attorney Bill Newman spoke eloquently about free speech and their was much buzz about bringing in a production of the play to the High School with a big-name volunteer cast, but nothing ever came of it.

Fast forward late-December, 2003: When I first read buried in the Amherst Bulletin (who refused to use the word “vagina” in a headline) about senior Kristin Tyler appearing before the School Committee in early-December to inform them (apparently not to ask) about performing ‘VM’, I thought “here we go again with those 17-year-old’s.”

I vividly recall the first school Committee Meeting after the news broke a few weeks later when about two-dozen folks showed up to support the play and only two to oppose.

Although Superintendent Hochman had trumpeted the girls courage to publicly speak out about violence against women he refused to let them come to the School Committee meeting to speak about why they should do it in the form of ‘VM’ because he wanted to shelter them from the brewing controversy. Hmmm.

But a young art teacher, especially supportive of the play, and faculty advisor to it (with a side business of “erotic photography”--specializing in women of course) did appear to read “statements” from the girls.

Immediately the Daily Hampshire Gazette published an editorial citing the strong support at that single School Committee meeting, casting me as a book burner; but then never bothered to issue another editorial after the next three meetings where play opponents far outnumbered supporters.

And the editor-in-chief also forbids me from writing another ‘VM’ column for the Amherst Bulletin, a violation of my verbal contract with editor Nick Grabbe. The same chief editor who accused me of censorship.

(To Be Continued…)

'Vagina' exposed

Jere Hochman, Superintendent
Mark Jackson, Principal ARHS
RE: Public Documents Request ‘VM’

Could I please get an accounting of the number of tickets sold for the recent performance of The Vagina Monologues at Amherst Regional High school, and a breakdown of how many were “student” tickets and how many full-fare “adult” tickets.

Could I also get any overhead costs associate with the production (police for instance) and any monies paid out to presenters during the week of workshops at the School leading up to the play.

Larry Kelley