Oh I'd love to be...

Wienermobile: A snack for the Jolly Green Giant

The Wienermobile came a calling on the People's Republic of Amherst and, amazingly, they were not picketed by vegans or pelted with rotten vegetables.

Gymnastics, then the Wienermobile

AFD keeps rolling along

Sunday 4:00 AM Dumpster Fire behind Hillel House near UMass

Although far fewer ETOH (passed out drunk) emergency cases this past weekend compared to last, from 13 down to 5, it is still five too many, and a time consuming drain on our emergency services.

Surprisingly UMass, with only one case (compared to seven last week), did not win the weekly drink-yourself-into-a-stupor competition between our centers of higher education, while vastly smaller Amherst College was our weekend winner with two (five last week) and Hampshire College one (zero last week).

Unfortunately dumpsters provide an easy opportunity for mischievous vandals, and like the previous weekend, AFD had to deal with another early morning bonfire in a box, which, fortunately, is made of metal.

Amherst Fire Department weekend runs 12/9

Party House of the weekend

Amherst Police must be getting in the Christmas spirit as they issued ten warning tickets for noise and only two actual $300 noise complaint tickets over the weekend--the last one where UMass is still in session. So yes, the two winners had to go above and beyond the call of duty to garner a ticket.

Now anyone who has children and lives in a two story home knows how annoying it is when a temperamental child STOMPS all the way up or down the stairs...now just imagine living in an apartment complex where you share walls with immediate neighbors and it's after midnight and the "children" are fully grown.

According to Amherst Police who were called to apartment #1421 The Boulders at 12:59 AM:

Over 100 party goers with extremely loud music. Upon attempting to clear the party, the patrons began yelling and stomping up and down the stairs and refused to leave. The residents were uncooperative and after several warnings were taken into custody. Furthermore, after the guests finally were cleared out an additional noise complaint was called in due to the loud behavior in the parking lot.

Arrested for Unlawful Noise:

Since the judge dismissed their cases on Monday, I have deleted their names.

263 Grantwood Drive

At first glance this case may seem to be a tad heavy handed, as these two young ladies were all by themselves listening to (loud) music at 8:00 PM--but that was not the case last week when one of the housemates was busted for a loud party that attracted over 100 guests and was shut down at 1:00 Am.

So apparently they did not learn their lesson. Yes, 263 Grantwood is located directly across the street from 260 Grantwood Drive, my Party House of the Weekend a few weeks back.

According to this week's police report:

RP reports loud party somewhere on Grantwood Drive location.

Base heard emanating from inside the residence. Only two residents inside, no other guests. Stated they were playing music and didn't realize it was that loud.

Cited for Noise ordinance violation:

Lauren Whittemore, Fitchburg, MA, age 21
Vanessa Crespo, Fitchburg, MA, age 20

Library shelves quake project

Jones Library: town center anchor

Jones Library Trustees were not overly enthusiastic to the gee whiz idea of joining the Boston College Educational Seismology Project, with a combination of cost and time commitment--$10,000 for a seismograph and a year's worth of training for the new Library Director and a staff member--quickly deflating the trial balloon floated by Trustee President Sarah McKee.

McKee and Director Sharon Sharry had journeyed east to the Weston Public Library (the only library involved in the school dominated project) last Friday to learn more about the idea, and discovered the project can be time consuming for staff and management. Not to mention the $10,000 cost.

The Trustees did not even bother to vote.

Is anybody listening?

I'm a journalist unafraid to put down the pen or crawl out from behind the keyboard to say what needs to be said. Loudly.

Obviously the Amherst Bulletin is not listening

On September 9 when UMass and town officials alongside District Attorney Dave Sullivan tried to soothe the party hardy behavior patterns exhibited by a hard core minority of students by handing out oatmeal cookies (I kid you not) the Gazette/Bulletin assigned veteran reporter Nick Grabbe to cover the late night "story"--what is usually referred to in journalism as a "puff piece."

Meanwhile, simultaneously in the north end of campus, the Meadow Street riot occurred. The next day the Gazette carried the cookie caper story on the front page.

Death from above

USS Arizona 12/7/41

"Some fine Sunday morning..." Colonel Billy Mitchell (1924)

“I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.”
Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto (12/7/41)

USS Arizona today

“With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounded determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God.” (12/8/41)
Franklin D. Roosevelt

Amherst 12/7/2011

Amherst: "I get no respect"

The professor ignores Amherst, education capital of the world

So we had an important politician peruse the Happy Valley yesterday--Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren--and she never bothered to come calling on the People's Republic of Amherst, located only 7 miles away, snugly behind the tofu curtain.

Now yes, I suppose that would be like preaching to the choir--but let's face it, as much as they try to distance themselves from our little town, the city of Northampton is cut from the same, all natural, vegan fiber.

And what's up with Ms. Warren's glitzy wine-and-cheese $1,000 per (platinum) plate affair in Hamp? Oh she who fights against the economic inequality from fat cat Wall Street investors and claims to have spearheaded the Occupy movement (right after Al Gore invented the Internet) .

Not to many of us 99%ers can come up with $1,000 for a little bit of facetime. Although...skype is free.