Tuesday, October 13, 2015

We're #1

 Amherst's new them song:  "Where have all the hippies gone?"

So this is certainly not the kind of Internet poll result you will see our Chamber of Commerce, Business Improvement District or UMass Office of News & Media Relations proudly hype in a press release.

But, considering the source, maybe they should.

Internet troll and anonymous provocateur Turtle Boy Sports named us #1 on the list of his (obviously he's a he)  "Top Ten Hippie Towns in Massachusetts Where Turtle Boy Would Lose His Mind"

Not that he has much of a mind to begin with.  But hey, at least he can count to ten.

First of all Amherst has the lowest median age in the state, with 58% of our population comprised of "college aged youth."  The "hippie" demographic died off a while ago.

These days we have more homeless hanging out in town center than we do hippies.

In other words the Vietnam war is l-o-n-g over.  And Turtle Boy should know that since he -- like Barstool Sports -- revels in bad boy, party hardy, rowdy student behavior.

If immaturity was a good thing, Turtle Boy would be a saint. 

But that's kind of the modus operandi for Turtle Boy:  Cite a cliche or two, add a pinch of snark and a few lousy photos and voilà, you have a listicle "story."  Now bring on the hits. 

Funny thing is in his "takedown" of little old me last spring he clearly says, "Downtown Amherst has tons of cool shops, restaurants, and bars, none of which would exist were it not for the fact that 20,000 carpetbaggers live there in three out of the four seasons."

And he even closed with, "it’s actually got a nice downtown area with tons of nice looking things."

But that's Turtle Boy: spew so much verbiage that you soon forget what you have said in the past.  And he's too lazy to bother with a simple Google search -- even of his own website.

And w-a-y too cowardly to stand by his opinions under his own name.


Anonymous said...

I. Me. Mine. Can Anyone go five minutes without talking about themselves?0

Larry Kelley said...

Anons apparently.

Anonymous said...

Never heard of him.

Larry Kelley said...

No great loss.

When he attempted to take me down last spring I ended up getting about 50 hits from his post (that linked to me). Over the past week I've gotten 300,000 hits because a few websites linked to me over the Mac-and-Cheese kid at UConn.

So I don't think his website actually gets the traffic he claims.

Anonymous said...

In defense of Turtle Boy, his definition/idea of a hippie is not the Vietnam era anti-war type. Although there are a few of those wandering around Amherst. (Shoutout to Vince)

Amherst's population makes it a liberal modern hippie village. Pack the place with thousands of college aged kids going to liberal leaning universities and that's what you get. I'll bet most will be voting for Bernie Sanders should he take the nom...and he's really what the modern hippie types are all about. And its not a bad thing.

Amherst not only has a few Vietnam era hippies hanging on but its also home to college kids protesting against everything under the sun on campus and throwing one of the largest pot reform events around smack in the center of town.

Larry Kelley said...

Pot has pretty much gone mainstream, not just in Amherst but the entire country.

Seems like Turtle Boy stacked the deck with Western Mass cities and towns, so I think he's just trying to increase his circulation out this way. Not really a great way to do it, at least on a long term basis.

Anonymous said...

Anything east of Worcester swings pretty far from hippie relative to Western Mass. Suburban jungle...not hippie paradise.

Anonymous said...

Just google Aidan Kearney, Turtleboy, and you will find out who runs that site. He was outed by Buffalo Bills fans, and subsequently resigned from his position as a teacher in Worcester County.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Turtleboy on this one. Amherst IS a freaking cesspool.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of turtleboy:

Anonymous said...

Apparently nobody cares about the harmfull effects. The Commies have won!

Anonymous said...

Where have all the hippies gone? Some are still here. Remembering a time when Don Muller had his first leather shop down the alley and Sweetpie played the piano at Quicksilver in his Tarzan suit. The House of Walsh was still around and they were filming Silent Night, Lonely Night with all the Christmas decorations hung up in March of '69 for the filming.

Anonymous said...

Turtle douche had trouble with paying for his website recently and it went down. Turtle Boy Sports is basically a dumbed down rip off of Bar Stool Sports. Didn't Aiden Kearney get in trouble for sexual assault?