(Pro) Party House of the Weekend

 665 West Street, Amherst

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UPDATE (Wednesday morning):

The April 14 concert has been cancelled.  Ahhh ... was it something I said?

Original Post: (Tuesday morning):

So you have to wonder if the Amherst underground Punk music business is bustling enough to absorb an extra $1,800 cost of doing business bestowed upon them by the Amherst Police Department?

If so, I'm sure the Amherst Building Commissioner will be more than happy to get involved and shut down these boy wonder music entrepreneurs wannabes for all sorts of zoning violations (including parking on the front lawn).

Darn!  Sorry I missed "Anal War Head" 

Around midnight Saturday Amherst Police arrived at 665 West Street located on the front steps of Orchard Valley, one of the oldest working class neighborhoods in Amherst, to find 250 patrons crowded into the basement of this one family ranch.

And you just know the "promoters" did not have a trained employee as "crowd manager" -- a Massachusetts Fire Code enacted after the devastating conflagration at the Station Nightclub ten years ago where 100 patrons perished.

 Not much headroom in the basement

APD issued each of the three leaseholders two $300 tickets, one for Nuisance House and the other for Noise.  So at $5 head entry, the 250 patron crowd did not even generate enough revenue to cover the fines.  But more than enough to disrupt the neighborhood.

Maybe they will just increase the cover charge for the April 14th event.

Dad City, 665 West Street, Amherst

Electrcal fire waiting to happen

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The Massachusetts Daily Collegian Reports (most of the story anyway)

Boston PD uses Twitter to follow Punk parties in neighborhoods (sort of)

More kids to add to the UMass blacklist 

Getting even the artists attention 

DUI Dishonor Roll

 

Drunk drivers caused 9,878 deaths in 2011.  NO FOOLIN!

I doubt they were celebrating the resurrection of our lord Jesus Christ, but these two almost simultaneous DUI arrests could easily have been burial vault material if not taken off the road by APD very early Good Friday morning.  

Even worse, they could have taken innocent folks with them. Especially since Heidy Canalizo was arrested in the heart of downtown Amherst, near the CVS at 12:47 AM.

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And Alex Labib, arrested on Fearing Street (within spitting distance of UMass), at 12:50 AM, was a duel threat: both DUI and possession of narcotic drugs.  Not very becoming for a former UMass Student Government Association Senator.

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Early Thursday morning on Belchertown Road, one of the main roads leading to town center, APD arrested Randy Santiago for DUI and operating to endanger (which is almost redundant).

By Any Other Name

After a brief emergency meeting this morning at an undisclosed location the Amherst Select Board and Town Manager invoked Executive Order #19, a rarely used provision of the Amherst Town Government Act that allows the Executive Branch to do pretty much anything it wants.

One of less controversial decrees hatched at the secret meeting will change the name of the town from Amherst, where even the h is silent, to Salk -- where every letter is pronounced.

After 254 years of snarky remarks about the town being named after Lord Jeffery Amherst, the (bastard) father of biological warfare, and in a ritualistic bow to karma, the town will now be renamed after Dr. Jonas Salk, the researcher who came up with a polio vaccine. 

"Since education is our #1 industry, it's only fitting we rename our little college town after one of the greatest researchers in the history of science," said Select Board Chair Stefan O'Keefe. 

In keeping with the altruistic principles of Salk, who responded to a gotcha media question about patent ownership with ""There is no patent. Could you patent the sun?", the town will lease the Cherry Hill Golf Course to BlueWave Capital for a 5 megawatt solar energy farm.

Former golf course now guaranteed to generate profits

All proceeds will go towards funding research to find an HIV vaccine, the last project Dr. Salk was working on.

A Secret Documents Request also reveals via meeting minutes that the Select Board sold Amherst Town Hall to local developer Roberts Barry and the Business Improvement District for $10 million.

Amherst Town Hall to become "Townhouse On The Green"

Plans are to renovate the former seat of government to a mixed-use development with retail on the bottom floor and student housing above.

 "Since the Blarney Blowout downtown was such a success last month, this will help make next years' event even BIGGER" said Douche' Drinker, manager of McMurphy's Uptown Tavern.

News About Nothing (Seinfeld)

While not up there with the resurrection of Jesus Christ, the lack of an $ Override question on the April 9 town election ballot is only a borderline miracle, especially in light of the recent outcry over school budget cuts.

Town officials are 1-2 over the past six years with one $1.68 Override passing in 2010; but a larger more hard fought $2.5 million Override campaign failing in 2007 (mainly because of campaign director, Rick Hood).

Any marketing guru will confirm trying to get people to voluntarily raise their own taxes -- especially in a trying economy -- is a tough sell.  Even more so, the prospect of trying to raise money to buy media to sell consumers on the idea of paying more for something most people take for granted:  public services. 

Especially when the town has $6 million stashed away in reserves and the Regional Schools another  $1 million.  The old "why should I take money out of my savings account so that you can keep money stashed in yours" routine.

Of course the major downside now is the April 9 local election, with no town-wide contests and half the town meeting precincts with not enough candidates to fill the open seats, will get an abysmal turnout ... under 10%.

And no, 14 UMass students running for Amherst Town Meeting will not stimulate the vote in the least (other than the 14 who come out to vote for themselves -- if indeed they bother to vote that day).

Last November, however,  the Amherst turnout for a non competitive (in this state anyway) Presidential election was 69%.

But for matters that more directly impact them -- The People -- it's the local election that really counts. And yet there, we always come up lacking.

Amherst:  where even the H is silent. 

Presidential E-X-P-A-N-S-I-O-N

Presidential Apartments, one of the first big complexes to arise fifty years ago in a mutual symbiotic relationship with UMass, our largest employer, has been granted a special permit by the Amherst Zoning Board of Appeals to expand significantly (54 units) from the current 85 units to 139, or an increase of 96 tenants.

The 54 new units will spread out over nine new buildings and consist of a dozen one bedroom units and 42 two bedroom units.  Six of these units will be "affordable" and will count towards Amherst's Subsidized Housing Inventory.

The town is currently at 10.8% and if it falls below 10% a developer can use a state CH40B wild card to build a rental housing mega-complex.

According to the Amherst Housing Production Plan between 1980 and 2010 housing production decreased by 12.8% in a town where 59.4% of the population are college students.

Presidential Apartments is also one of the complexes that is professionally managed by Kamins Real Estate and seldom shows up in Amherst police logs.

Closing The Barn Door

 290 Lincoln Avenue

After a marathon 3.5 hour meeting last night the Amherst Zoning Board of Appeals decided the bulldozing of a barn in the backyard of 290 Lincoln Avenue was not "arbitrary or capricious," and was indeed within the scope of the Zoning Bylaw.

On September 4 The Amherst Historical Commission declined to issue a one-year demolition delay for the barn because commissioners did not deem it historically significant, even though it was rumored by a real estate agent to have once been used as a writer's loft by Robert Frost, Amherst's second most famous poet.

Building Commissioner Rob Morra issued a demolition permit and the owner quickly carried out the deed.  Neighbors then filed an appeal with the Town Clerk and the ZBA heard the appeal over two meetings.  Even though the barn was history.

Frisky Friday

 

500 Sunderland Road, Amherst (just barely)

Late Friday night around 11:45 PM,  Police were called to 500 Sunderland Road, almost at the Sunderland border, to break up a huge party, sending a stream of kids -- like a zombie herd -- staggering back to UMass via busy Rt 116.

One college aged youth was arrested for "failure to disperse" and a $300 "Nuisance House" ticket issued to the responsible tenant. Obviously neither of these kids read the memo from UMass Nanny -- I mean Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs -- Jean Kim.

 

45 Phillips Street 5:00 PM

And it's still early yet!

800 North Pleasant Street (Minutes before APD stopped to chat)