Wednesday, January 26, 2011

"Of the people, by the people..."


And of course the most important part of Mr. Lincoln's eloquent quote, "for the people." Or to paraphrase President Kennedy 50 years ago: "Ask not what your town can do for you, ask what you can do for your town."

February 1st was shaping up to be the NIMBY Superbowl, as two volatile meetings were in conflict: the Amherst Redevelopment Authority meeting (bordering on a public hearing) concerning the Gateway Project and the Amherst Department of Public Works committee's public hearing on closing off Lincoln Avenue to our largest by FAR employer, Umass, and used as a direct route to there for almost 150 years.

Of course the neighbors ensconced on Lincoln Avenue will converge on the DPW public hearing to champion turning their neighborhood into an exclusive enclave at taxpayer expense (not to mention creating a nightmare for travelers to and from THE major destination spot in Amherst.)

And some of those same neighbors will be pulling double duty by also attacking the nearby Gateway Project citing noise and increased traffic.

Some will even be a triple threat by invading the Feb 10 Zoning Board of Appeals public hearing to attempt blocking Amherst Brewing Company's move into the former Leading Edge gym's cavernous commercial space on University Drive.

Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone: Banana Republic indeed!
#####################################

From: Larry Kelley

Sent: Wednesday, January 19, 2011 11:27 AM

To: Musante, John; Mooring, Guilford; Tucker, Jonathan

Subject: Feb 1st ARA extravaganza

One of our PR friends at UMass just pointed out the Town Room is taken the night of Feb 1st by the DPW hearing on Lincoln Ave "calming". 

Now I know we have to keep Phil Jackson (and his band of merry NIMBYs) happy and all, but it strikes me that Gateway is a tad more important.

Is there any way we can move that DPW hearing to the Bangs Center or--better yet--the date, so Umass community relations folks can attend it and the ARA meeting???



Larry K

(Acting) Chair ARA

From: Mooring, Guilford To: Musante, John Tucker, Jonathan 

Sent: Wed, Jan 19, 2011 12:53 pm


Hi. This is the regularly scheduled PWC meeting. We could move as long as there is a big room available. They meet the first Tuesday of each month.

From: Larry Kelley
Sent: Wednesday, January 19, 2011 1:02 PM

To: Mooring, Guilford; Musante, John; Tucker, Jonathan



I will rent a very large tent (The ARA has a few bucks left in an Administrative Account.)


Sent: Wed, Jan 19, 2011 2:41 pm
Larry and Jonathan,


How about moving the ARA meeting to the previous night 1/31 in the Town Room? There will be neighbors interested in attending both ARA and PWC. I have checked with Nancy and Todd at UMass and they are available. Jonathan, the Town Room is reserved by my office for the Select Board that night but they are not planning to meet. Let me know ASAP.
John P. Musante

And so we did. ARA Meeting: Monday, January 31, Town Room, Town Hall.
#####################################
A tad less busy in 1860

Amazing that Lincoln Ave actually predates the University or the original Massachusetts Agricultural College. Even more amazing that the People's Republic of Amherst named a major street after a Republican President (years before he became a martyr.)

Click on the two links below for the official DPW renderings (and how much did they cost?):

The Berlin Wall of Amherst


Close up of the Berlin Wall

74 comments:

Ed said...

For those who don't know, Lincoln Avenue was the main road through town and it continues as the sidewalk that goes west of Whitmore, east of Munson, to the Campus Center circle and then up to the grad tower.

Those houses were built there because it was the main road through town. And there weren't drunk UMass students around there during the infamous ZooMass days when the drinking age was 18?

Ed said...

One other thing: http://www.wwlp.com/dpp/news/local/hampshire/Trial-continues-for-former-judge

I wonder how many lawsuits the Town of Amherst is going to be facing from this precedent. Putting a police checkpoint where they searched PEDESTRIANS (without warrant) is really legally questionable....

Anonymous said...

Hey, wait a minute. The residents of Lincoln Avenue are taxpayers. We are just tired of paying taxes so that a big non-taxpayer can use our humble street as a cross between a drag strip for daily commuters and a urinal for students on weekends.

Larry Kelley said...

Oh, I think ANYONE who owns a home in Amherst is a taxpayer.

That "big non-taxpayer" is also the largest employer in--not just little old Amherst--but all of Western Massachusetts.

And ironically, when they TRY to 'do the right thing' by donating the former Frat Row to the ARA for private development that WILL pay taxes, many of you same NIMBYs rail against it yet again.

Anonymous said...

If you buy a house in the shadow of a large university you should understand that that house is in the shadow of a large university.

The taxpayers of Amherst are supposed to subsidize the raising of the value of houses on Lincoln and make it more difficult for people to come and go?

This is just gross.

What are we supposed to do during snow emergencies?

Has anyone thought about that?

Larry Kelley said...

Yeah, good point.

Phil Jackson moved back to Amherst and purchased his humble abode in 2004 for $640,000 and currently it's only valued at $542,200; so making Lincoln Avenue an 'island unto itself' probably will boost property values back up to previous levels.

After all, he is on the Finance Committee--so he would know these things.

Larry Kelley said...

Oops, we crossed postings. I was trying to be contiguous with Anon 1:44 PM.

Anonymous said...

I find it bizarre that those who want to speed through our neighborhood or treat it as a bathroom call us selfish. Please post your address. I will be happy to throw up in your yard. It's happened to me, so let's see how much you like it. I'll also be roaring by your house every morning at 7:30 am.

Anonymous said...

You bought a house near a massive dorm complex filled with undergrads.

I did not.

Why should I help you out of your stupid decision?

People speed on lots of more populated streets through Amherst Woods and Echo Hill. Why not have the town work on fixing that? Those residents have the right to different expectations given they didn't buy right next to the region's largest employer.

Anonymous said...

You sound like the typical state employee. You will stop driving so fast once you are sponging off the state with your inflated pension. For now, you can keep pretending to do your job like most state employees.

Larry Kelley said...

Actually there Anon 2:42 PM I live cheek-to-cheek with the Amherst DPW.

And I purchased my house 20 years ago, but they were here at least thirty years before that.

And at this very moment it's pretty busy with town folks (at least I hope they are from our town) coming and going to get sand/salt from the BIG pile out front (free) and all the big yellow trucks gearing up for the incoming storm with the 'beep, beep, beep' whenever they go into reverse.

I love it!

Anonymous said...

Go play in your sandbox.

Larry Kelley said...

YOU folks seem to be the experts at selfish, childish behavior.

Anonymous said...

I not only pay Amherst taxes,
I live on a street near UM. It has NO sidewalks and students and other Amherst taxpayers typically walk through my yard on their way to and from UM and town.

My street is dangerous for walkers with the traffic that goes by. Shouldn't Amherst close it? As well as Pine, East Pleasant, South East, etc. etc.

You live in town for its conveniences; you obviously saw the buildings that are UM when you bought,

How naive are you? and

why should I be inconvenienced by your apparent ignorance?
YOU have sidewalks, use them.

if you wanted a really large house that was quiet, you could have moved out to a different area of town. (of course then you couldn't have gotten "AS MUCH" house, right???? that's real estate....location determines price. You took the trade off when you bought your house.

I will warn the town that if this precedence is set, many of us on the dangerous streets will expect the same consideration you are giving one street. or maybe I shouldn't warn the town.....

Larry Kelley said...

Nah, warnings are pretty meaningless. Just do it.

For instance, I doubt you will see much outrage from folks at the February 1st meeting where the "warning" about the drastic measures about to be implemented will be discussed.

Especially since it sounds like it's going to happen one way or the other.

But come this spring around 7:30 AM some fine Monday morning,on the very first day those barricades go up, the response is going to be OVERWHELMING.

And I will remind town officials here and now that text messages are considered public documents--foul language included.

Roach patrol said...

"Phil Jackson moved back to Amherst and purchased his humble abode in 2004 for $640,000 and currently it's only valued at $542,200; so making Lincoln Avenue an 'island unto itself' probably will boost property values back up to previous levels."


So much corruption, so little Amherst.

Dale said...

Just curious, I understand that putting up the barriers will stop the vehicle traffic. But, what is the plan for the pedestrians? Won't they still be cutting through and deficating all over Lincoln Ave.? I think we had better think on a larger scale here, and I'm thinking to the tune of the Berlin wall. We can build it around the whole neighborhood and put razor wire around the top that should keep the undesirables out! Or, it can become a gated community and apply a luxury tax for all that "choose" to live there! LOL, most people can't even make up half the crap that goes on in this town!

Larry Kelley said...

Oh, I'm sure THEY will expect APD to act as private security to control the riffraff on foot.

Anonymous said...

Especially if the riff-raff are riding their bicycles illegally around the barriers. Hint! Hint! Larry.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Amherst businesses should be on the alert that UM employees, including tax paying Amherst citizens, may be inspired to boycott Amherst.

Perhaps Amherst businesses should put their pressure on this goofy town government.

if the businesses buy into the "if they don't use Lincoln they'll have to come down main street and buy stuff silliness that was put out there during barricade time, let me tell you it did not happen.

I'd really like a resident of Lincoln tell me why I should subsidize their residential street into a gated community if mine is not eligible?

i too was able to afford more of house at the time I bought due to its location. I looked at the pros and cons and ultimately chose to buy....but if the option is out there to get my busy street closed and raise my property value, i'm there.

Anonymous said...

when buying a house...location, location, location.....think before you buy

Anonymous said...

I think a lot of people in our neighborhood are intimidated by the vitrol from UMass employees. It's really kind of scary.

Larry Kelley said...

You ain't heard nothin yet

Anonymous said...

That's what concerns me. There's a lack of civility in the discussion.

Larry Kelley said...

"If you can't stand the heat..."

Anonymous said...

One of the comments here reminded me of statement Jesse Helms (R-NC) made about the discussion of a Zoo in NC. He said we could just fence in UNC and use the money for something else.

Maybe he is on to a solution for the Town and Lincoln Ave.

Anonymous said...

where is the vitriol? Why don't you answer the basic question:

Why did you not answer the basic simplistic question:

Why did you buy a house on Lincoln Avenue if you did not want to be on a through street in the middle of a town?

Larry Kelley said...

On a direct vector towards the largest employer in Western Massachusetts.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I did leave that out of my question.

And that's as basic as it gets.

So, Lincoln Ave residents, can you answer that question?

HT

Anonymous said...

What percentage of the drivers racing to work because they can't set their alarm clocks 5 minutes earlier are under the speed limit?

Larry Kelley said...

And how many other streets in town could we make that same observation?

Except of course, Lincoln Avenue has been used as a direct route to a very large employer for 150 years now.

Anonymous said...

You are always the voice of the little guy against the big guy. Not this time. Hmm.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm sure THEY will expect APD to act as private security to control the riffraff on foot

Larry, they already are.

And the compliant APD is -- they set up a PEDESTRIAN checkpoint where they were searching kids for beer -- which strikes me as patently illegal.

You know, the names and birth dates of everyone who lives on Lincoln Avenue is in the street listing and if they do this, I will post that on campus and then we will see how much mischief the pissed-off students can accomplish with identity theft....

Larry Kelley said...

Actually there Anon 2:24 PM, I'm the voice of the greater good, which oftentimes over the past 25 years put me in direct conflict with the town or Umass.

Not this time.

Anonymous said...

"You know, the names and birth dates of everyone who lives on Lincoln Avenue is in the street listing and if they do this, I will post that on campus and then we will see how much mischief the pissed-off students can accomplish with identity theft.... "

See Larry, this is what we are facing. So the only answer is to give in to rude, childish behaviour, or face even more malicious behaviour.

Anonymous said...

i've gotta agree that the "identity theft" comment is out there...

yesterday, ed was saying he would have liked to commit assault and battery on a town resident, and today he's saying he will promote identity theft.

you still drunk from last night, ed?

Anonymous said...

NEWS FLASH-

Not every car driving on Lincoln Ave and the surrounding streets are headed to U MASS.

Paying 18.25% taxes in Amherst- Access to all the town's PUBLIC roads is a small thing to expect.

Anonymous said...

You WILL be able to access it, only just from one end! :)

Anonymous said...

Ed, to say that Lincoln Ave was the main road through town is utterly absurd. It was a much later, smaller street with only a couple of houses on it for quite awhile.

The main streets in town were and still are Main and Pleasant Streets.

Yes, Ed, facts DO matter. Please remember.

Ed said...

Ed won't promote identity theft -- he has a much better way to put an end to this, which will also cost the Town of Amherst a whole bunch of money.

See, Ed's disabled and simply can make an ADA request to the town that they (a) repair the sidewalks and (b) properly light them before closing the road to vehicular traffic. That is the end to all of your Maple trees, much as UMass had to cut them down to repair its sidewalk, the town will have to do likewise. And then you will have the place lit up like a shopping mall all night long -- but hey, it is ADA and Amherst doesn't have a choice -- if I can't drive down it, they have to make it so I can walk down it.

What this will do to property values let alone the current quality of life of residents -- I really don't care...

And then there is something else that the Town isn't going to be bright enough to think about and that will cost Amherst a s***load of money when the state hits them with major fines for not thinking about it. But hey -- sucks to be an Amherst taxpayer, doesn't it?

And as to the rich white trust-funded schmucks on Lincoln Avenue, identity theft is the least you need to worry about. Personally, I would worry about things like rocks coming through windows in the middle of the night -- you really don't understand some of the subcultures of some of the people whom you are messing with.

No, I don't approve of this. But I also am not a Democrat....

Anonymous said...

Still no answer to the question:

Why did you buy a house on Lincoln Avenue if you did not want to be on a through street in the middle of a town?

Makes me wonder.

Ed said...

Ed, to say that Lincoln Ave was the main road through town is utterly absurd. It was a much later, smaller street with only a couple of houses on it for quite awhile.

Facts matter, you schmuck.

Go look at some of the archival pictures or even the court deeds. North Pleasant was laid out in 1887, the Civil War ended in 1865 and it is clear that naming streets after Civil War heros (not only Lincoln but the cross streets named after the Generals) meant that Lincoln was laid out 20 years earlier than North Pleasant.

Even after John Lederlie's attempt to make the core UM campus car-free (he told me that he never estimated "the extent to which we would fall in love with our cars"), Lincoln Avenue became the feeder to three massive parking lots and the interchange with the "modern" divided highway they built.

And the other thing that everyone is forgetting here is that (a) the 116 bypass was to bypass North Pleasant street and (b) there was supposed to be a 2nd interchange behind where the Mullins Center is, and (c) 116 was supposed to cross 9 and continue through where Staples now is and connect with the Turnpike. And had those roads been built, then we would be looking at a completely different traffic picture...

Anonymous said...

Ed, it's like you're just delusional or something!

Look at the Beer's Atlas map fom 1873, you can SEE that Pleasant St. and Main St. are thriving commercial streets with large buildings. (NOT waiting to be "laid out in 1887")

Where as Lincoln is a small road with a few houses on it.

Facts, ya can't just MAKE THEM UP!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, when they laid out Lincoln Avenue they were planning for cars which had yet to be invented, and a University that did't grow to its gargantuan size until the 1960s. How forward thinking they were.

Anonymous said...

Geez, the street is not being closed. It's just no longer going to be a bumper-to-bumper entrance into and exit from the University. It will go back to being a residential street - as it was designed to be. There are many official entrances employees and customers can use that do not run through a residential neighborhood. Complain all you want. The entrance will no longer be available - period. Thankfully.

Larry Kelley said...

Don't count your chickens...

Anonymous said...

Don't even count your eggs.

Anonymous said...

How many current Lincoln Ave. residents have been in their houses since 1960? That's 50 years.

The vast majority bought long after UMass expanded.

This is just childish BS.

What's next? Should the people on Log Town Rd. have the town pay to move the dump?

Anonymous said...

"Geez, the street is not being closed. It's just no longer going to be a bumper-to-bumper entrance into and exit from the University. It will go back to being a residential street - as it was designed to be. There are many official entrances employees and customers can use that do not run through a residential neighborhood. Complain all you want. The entrance will no longer be available - period. Thankfully."

My street is also used as an entrance to campus....I want it closed.

Is that the way it works? Or do I have to get one of my neighbors to be on a town committee?

Anonymous said...

Please block East Pleasant St at Eastman Lane and Pine St.
Thanks

Anonymous said...

Complain all you want. The entrance will no longer be available - period

And rocks will go through windows at 3 AM, cunthead....

Anonymous said...

that's inappropriate. The town is to blame if it chooses to do this.

The town is wasting everyone's money and inconveniencing tax payers like me who use that street....

I want to point out that i use the street frequently since I own a home in town. BUT I don't use it to access UM, I access UM from the East side of campus.

To get back to my point about the nasty post: I don't approve of this type of action/nor threat.

the town decision makers are the ones who will choose to do this for a special interest group: one small group of residents who bought houses on a through street next to a major university. The town should say "no" we can't do this for you because we cannot do this for all through streets that access public institutions or commercial enterprises or public works. And if we cannot do this for all, we cannot do it for a select few.

They wanted the large houses, the convenience of town etc, but didn't want to pay higher prices to be further away from University.

Now they want the town, we taxpayers to pay, to block the street to through traffic so its available for their access to their homes.

Why didn't they pay to live in a different neighborhood? Not one of them has answered the questions that have been posed.

Actually I think they know they will get this; it doesn't matter what others think. They want it, therefore it's ok

and that's amherst for you: standing up for "equality and rights" when it applies to others but taking, taking, taking for personal gain/comfort.

It's been said but I'm going to say it again: THEY HAVE SIDEWALKS. There are several really busy streets in Amherst that are truly dangerous to walk, residential areas, zoned to be residential that are dangerous to walk in because there are NO SIDEWALKS.

how can this be ignored?

Anonymous said...

Larry:

What is the new proposal for closing Lincoln Avenue? Where will it be closed? Where will traffic be routed? Will this be permanent or another test run of something? Do you have any of the details or a link to the details?

I remember the emails that the last experiment generated. Very entertaining reading. I especially loved the ones from irate Lincoln Avenue residents who were complaining about how hard it was to get to their houses - how they had to go a round about route that took them longer to get home and inconvenienced them. Some of them wanted special dispensation from the blockades that were erected on their street. Talk about an entitled class of residents.

Anonymous said...

Dear Anonymous January 29, 2011 8:10 AM:

Lincoln Avenue is not being closed. The entrance to the UMass parking lot, which is not even an official university entrance, is being closed to automobile traffic. That is all.

Nearby residents and neighbors will be able to access Lincoln just as always. The problem, quite possibly, is that the original article does not even state the facts. This is a blogger, not a professional journalist.

Were the maps posted, quite possibly all of the hysteria around this make-believe gated community rumor could be put to rest.

Larry Kelley said...

Actually I did post the map in the original upload as a hotlink: "Berlin Wall comes to Amherst"

And now I just put up the other close up official DPW map as well. Us journalists know how to use google docs.

Anonymous said...

Would you care to provide a link to this map right here in the comments section since you started the hysteria and threats of violence with a bunch of lies?

There are three proposed blockades to auto traffic at the following locations:

1.) Entrance to UMass from Lincoln Avenue
2.) Entrance to UMass from N. Hadley Road (near McClure)
3.) Entrance to UMass from the corner of N. Hadley and Sunset)

Larry Kelley said...

Sure, anything for my NIMBYs


The Berlin Wall of Amherst


Close up of the Berlin Wall

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Larry for pointing out in the body of your post where the links to the maps were. I didn't notice they were links.

Can't get there from here is what I kept thinking as I looked at the map.

Larry Kelley said...

Yeah, in football you can move the ball 99 yards but if you don't get in the end zone it's all for naught.

In physiology it's called the "all or nothing" principal.

Larry Kelley said...

That of course should have been "principle."

Something the NIMBYs could also use.

Anonymous said...

So, I can't get to work on your street because why?

I looked at the maps. Lincoln will be closed at one end. This is absurd.

How many pedestrians have been hit on Lincoln in the last 5 years? I think the answer is ZERO.

There have been pedestrians hit on Mass Ave on campus. So, let's make the precious Lincoln Ave residents happy and make Mass Ave more dangerous.

Anonymous said...

I also think this is absurd. I live in a residential neighborhood in Amherst that has no sidewalks. They should be putting sidewalks in my neighborhood and leave Lincoln Avenue alone.

All of us who do not live on Lincoln Avenue should start lobbying the town for sidewalks, road closures and the like.

Anonymous said...

How is this different then the experiment they did last year? There will be bottlenecks in downtown Amherst, Mass Ave and University Drive yet again. I do not for the life of me understand the mentality of inconveniencing the many to placate a very few, entitled, loud mouth residents of town.

Anonymous said...

What's this all about? Why is this "neighborhood" any better/special than South East Street, Pine Street, East Pleasant St?

Why are we putting funds into a street with SIDEWALKS to make it "safer" when we have unsafe residential streets without sidewalks?

This is a misuse of funds to meet a special interest group. Yes they pay taxes on their houses. SO DO I.


If I want to go to town from campus, I have the right to use publicly funded and town maintained roads.

This is getting absurd.

Perhaps, my taxes should be at a lower rate since my privileges certainly are!

Perhaps University-employed folks (even the Amherst taxpayers) should ensure that we are not contributing to economy of Amherst.

it's sad, but how many downtown businesses will lose their lunch folks from UM if the UM folks have several minutes added to their travel time to get there? Most people I know who are employed at UM have 1/2 or 1 hour UNPAID lunches.

I hope downtown businesses and property owners are watching this fiasco and realizing that yet again, Amherst "government" is making a change that hurts their local business, affects downtown businesses adversely, thus hurting tax base and putting more tax burden on home owners.

Anonymous said...

Larry, name who ordered this, please.

Larry Kelley said...

Well that's hard to say considering the wishy-washy, nobody-in-charge, form of government we currently endure.

I believe the Select Board has final say over the public way so if this "experiment" proves a success the SB will have to formally vote to make it final.

Phil Jackson has led the charge for the neighborhood since he moved back to Amherst a half dozen years ago.

The beleaguered DPW (with better things to do at the moment) gets pressured into coming up with these experiments.

Remember the $8,000 we wasted on temporary speed cushions (that cannot even be used in the winter) two years ago?

And the new Town Manger, being new, doesn't want to piss off Lincoln Ave residents, but probably has no idea how many, many times more people he's gonna piss off the day this "experiment" goes into action.

Anonymous said...

You know, Larry, it wasn't too long ago that the last experiment, that pissed off so many, occurred. Is there no collective memory in this town? Doesn't anyone remember how angry everyone was, including some Lincoln Ave residents? Is the entire governing structure in Amherst suffering from Alzeimers?

Anonymous said...

Thanks Larry...

Ed said...

"You know, Larry, it wasn't too long ago that the last experiment, that pissed off so many, occurred. Is there no collective memory in this town? Doesn't anyone remember how angry everyone was, including some Lincoln Ave residents? Is the entire governing structure in Amherst suffering from Alzeimers?"

This is why I think that there will be rocks going through bedroom windows at 5AM (if not worse) if the town is stupid enough to do this.

People will only be reasonable for so long -- and then they say "f*** it." I won't throw rocks, but I am not going to be bothered to stop anyone else from doing that....

You will notice that the hydrants have not been shoveled out. I can't be bothered, let the rich white racists burn to death when the stupid schmucks set their houses on fire...

Ed said...

let the rich white racists burn to death when the stupid schmucks set their houses on fire...

Clarification: when the s***heads with more money than brains who live in the houses do something stupid that causes the houses to be on fire...

Anonymous said...

Two other things -- first, the Town doesn't "own" the road at the point where they want to put the barricades -- that is UMass land.

Second, are you really saying that the 200 people who live in Lincoln Apartments have to drive 3 fucking extra miles to get to campus?

There really will be rocks going through windows if those schmucks are stupid enough to do this. It won't be me -- it will be the stressed out mothers trying to get down to the day care center to pick up their kids before they get charged penalties for being late.

Hell has no fury like a stressed-out, pissed-off mother. And the rich white racists on Lincoln Avenue might learn a few obscenities in languages other than their own in the process....

Anonymous said...

so I am a newcomer to town. I am coming from 91 on 9. I miss the 116 turn off 9. I try sunset to get to umass. denied. I try Lincoln. denied. too late. now I am late and pissed at idiotically blocked roads.

human occupation is all about circulation. don't block the chi you fuckin boneheads.

Anonymous said...

so I am a newcomer to town. I am coming from 91 on 9. I miss the 116 turn off 9. I try sunset to get to umass. denied. I try Lincoln. denied. too late. now I am late and pissed at idiotically blocked roads.

And you are a vet with PTSD and you are now too late to get where you were going so you walk up to the nearest person standing on his front lawn and beat the s*** out of him. It is gonna happen.....

Anonymous said...

I won't throw rocks

No, of course you won't, Ed. You'll never do anything at all, for good or ill. You're way too happy just spewin', endlessly predicting Doomsday Scenarios, and generally making an ass of yourself.

How's that dissertation coming?