Drive Fast and Die! (only in Amherst)

Police with guns would certainly drive home the theme. So all the residents of Lincoln Avenue need do to slow down traffic is leave lots of food outdoors to attract the bears that in turn will attract lots of police with guns.

And then we can expand the marketing concept to address rowdy late night partying in the immediate neighborhoods around Umass: "Party Fast and Die!" Hobart Lane (non-student) residents should leave out lots of food to attract the bears…

9/13/07

In my Umass journalism class twenty-five years ago (taught by a Springfield Union News reporter) I was taught that editors “never apologize and never explain.” Her other favorite saying was “Don’t mess with people who buy ink by the barrel.”

In today’s Daily Hampshire Gazette, editor in chief Jim Foudy, in a rare appearance in ink, came as close to an apology as a veteran editor ever comes for their idiotic placement of the 9/11-conspiracy story that dominated the Front Page on the anniversary of that awful Tuesday morning.

And based on the volume of flack they so deservedly received, it’s clear that their other story that day about the significance of 9/11 fading in folks memory also missed the mark.

The Gazette should simply have run this comic strip to apologize:
http://www.beetlebailey.com/images/flag.swf

9/12/07

So before ‘The Day After’ concludes I wanted to post this addendum--my last concerning 9/11…well, at least until next year.

After snapping this photo today at Big Y, my favorite grocery store, I stopped in to get food for home and paper supplies for the athletic club and reluctantly mentioned to my favorite bagger (a long-time Amherst resident) that the flag should probably come back up to full staff.

In a reverent tone the cashier related to me that yesterday, on 9/11, at 8:46 am they observed a Moment of Silence in the store (chain-wide I’m sure.) Just another reason I love the Big Y.

And yesterday in Amherst town center, standing in the rain holding an American flag (although not nearly as large as the one at Big Y) at about THAT very moment I had already received about a half-dozen positive responses from drivers, when I received my first negative—the middle finger.

Yikes! About then I thought if I finished my two-hour observance with a 10-1 positive response ratio, that would be fine. Another idiot (with tie-dye t-shirt, anti-Bush, anti-war bumper stickers on his Volvo) pulled over to complain I should not be exposing an American flag to the rain. Yeah, like he was coming from a position of reverence.

All in all the thumbs up, car horn beeps, or smiling waves numbered 46 and the negatives (middle finger and the yahoo who complained about the flag in the rain) amounted to only three.

Not bad, not bad at all. There’s definitely hope for the People’s Republic of Amherst after all.

9/11/07: Some remembered

I’m glad it rained today, that way nobody could discern the tears as a group of Amherst firefighters came to attention and saluted the flag hanging limply at half-staff as a bagpiper played “Amazing Grace”.

I took time out of my vigil in town center marking the two hours of the attack to attend the somber ceremony at Central Station--also attended by the Town Manager and only one of five Select board members.

No, it was not Anne Awad who told Town Meeting on May 16’th (the night they decided against flying flags on 9/11) how she considered having the main town flag at half staff sent a powerful enough signal, and reverently reported having brought the flag down to that symbolic position with her very own hands.

But as of 10:30 this morning (the end of the attack), the town flag was still at full staff. And so it goes in the People’s Republic of Amherst.

And to the Republic for which it stands...

One American's response to Osama Big Laudanum

Anytime, anyplace you despicable, vain coward. No AK-47's, no blades, no grenades. Just us two: mano e mano. Your cave or mine.

Evel Knievel rides again!

As usual, the glitch with anything relating to transportation in Amherst rests with Select Man Rob Kusner. He pressured the DPW into abandoning the normal installation specifications for the “speed cushions” on Lincoln Avenue out of concern for cyclist.

Well, as you can see, that concern was ill founded. But it also has to make you wonder: if a 19 pound bike can deal with these obstacles at 25 mph then multi-thousand pound vehicles will not be overly impressed.

And the bumper sticker campaign is a tad wordy and whimpy: “Drive slowly to respect Amherst neighborhoods”. How about the more declarative: “Drive fast and die!”