Declaration of War!

UPDATE: 2:45 PM
So yeah, you sagacious types may have noticed the hilarious political cartoon of the Boss Hogg town manager suddenly disappeared for three and a half hours.

Creative artist Kevin Joy received a call on his cell phone with a threatening message suggesting liability because the town manager is “appointed” rather than “elected”.

My attorney just confirmed Shaffer is a “public official” PERIOD—and it doesn’t matter if he’s elected or appointed.

Of course now we’re trying to figure out how this mysterious person got Kevin’s cell phone number. He did call the Town Manager a lot these past few days. Hmmm…
Conservative Canadian Web page picks up the story
Gazette Front Page Article (above the fold no less)
One Town Official's Take

Town of Amherst To Organize And Conduct July 4’th Parade In 2009

A group of local volunteers created the Amherst July Fourth Parade Committee. Since 2002, the private group has done a remarkable job in organizing and conducting a parade to celebrate July 4’th in Amherst. However, there has been controversy over the Committee’s refusal to allow potential parade participants from displaying signs protesting various actions by government. With that in mind, I have repeatedly urged the Parade Committee not to exclude organizations and individuals who wish to use the July 4’th parade as a means to protest certain government action or to advocate for a particular position. I have met frequently with parade organizers to promote the concept that July 4’th is a time that all Americans should celebrate the birth of this nation and the principles of freedom inherent in the Declaration of Independence and the Bill or Rights. In particular, the First Amendment of the Bill or Fights, generally considered to be the most important Article in the Constitution, guarantees freedom of speech with remarkable clarity. How is it that on the nation’s birthday, in Amherst, any American can be denied their constitutional right to freedom of speech on town owned streets during a celebration ostensible devoted to that freedom so denied? I am sorry to report that I have not been able to successfully communicate that irony to the July Fourth Parade Committee.

The Town of Amherst cannot and should not obstruct or prevent a private parade from occurring in Amherst. Consequently, I will not attempt, in any fashion, to prevented the Parade Committee from conduction the July 4’th Parade in 2008. I will continue to encourage communications with the July 4’th Parade Committee in order to achiever the changes that I believer are correctly sought. However, moving forward, I believe the proposed change will correct the problem excluding certain forms of free speech during the July 4’th Parade.

As a result, the Town of Amherst shall sponsor a parade in celebration of Fourth of July, 2009. All groups will be invited to participate, and with the exception of obscenities and hate crimes, freedom of speech will be allowed. The LSSE Department, which is responsible for the fireworks and community events on July 4’th, will be asked to organize and manage the July 4’th Parade, also. A July 4’th Parade Committee shall be formed by the town to assist in managing the many details associated with such an event.

For Questions:
Shafferl@amherstma.gov
413-259-3002

And the answer is...

9:55 pm. In a stunning, despicable, display of Political Correctness (Only in) Amherst Town Manager Larry Shaffer singlehandedly decided to “Take Over” the July 4’th Parade in 2009.
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Town Manager Report! 9:17 (only 12 minutes behind schedule):

Shaffer reads a press release about the Parade. Yeah, yeah, yeah we’re “remarkable”--but he quickly gets to “however”...

“First Amendment guarantees freedom of speech." The July 4’th Parade Committee doesn’t get the irony of this free speech situation. I will not mess with them this year (no rescinding their permit or pulling town apparatus). But here come another “however”:

The town will sponsor a July 4’th Parade in 2009. LSSE (the recreation empire) who runs the Fireworks will also run the Parade. And we will exclude competition by refusing a permit for any private group wishing to run an old fashioned non-political Parade.

All individuals should be allowed to carry whatever they want with the exception of hate crimes or obscenity.

Nice try. How the hell are you going to enforce that Mr. Shaffer? If the town runs the Parade then the KKK can march and anti-war zealots can march with a F_CK Bush sign... whatever. As a matter of fact, I may march in their parade with a sign saying “F_CK Shaffer.

Selectperson Alisa Brewer reads our statement sent to the board and Shaffer last week.

9: 30pm Select Person O’Keeffe calls Shaffer on his framing it as a First Amendment issue. It’s not. The Parade Committee has made many attempts at compromise…what has the town done?? Where’s the compromise on the town part?

Select Person Brewer asks about “FUNDING” the town parade???? You know the $15,000 it will cost to put on a professional production with PAID staff doing the organizing.

Ms. Brewer also mentions how Shaffer has come off as "bullying" the Parade Committee with threats. (Shaffer doesn't respond)

Weiss jumps in and says he never saw it as bullying. He also says he sees it as a 'Free Speech' issue. And finds it inappropriate for the town to participate.

The rookie Stein mumbles something about folks should have the right to protest Iraq and Awad talks about the committee yanking folks from the Parade who were carrying signs.

So if it had come to a vote it would have been 3-2 with His Lordship Weiss, former Czar Awad and rookie Stein voting to support Boss Hogg's draconian measure and O'Keeffe and Brewer opposing.

Bad Boy, Bad Boy...what's he gonna do?

So we know the Town Manager has no respect for the sixty year tradition of local Boy Scouts selling Christmas trees in town center; but will he also destroy the tradition of town participation in the most sacred of American holidays—the 4’th of July?

Since the Gazette heavily hyped the “Town Manager Report” to the Select Board tonight at 9:05 pm with a banner headline this morning reading “Shaffer to speak on parade-sign policy tonight”, it’s a safe bet we will know the answer by around 9:20 pm.

For you play-by-play types here are the options:

He plays the ‘Nuclear Option’ and pulls our permit.
He plays the ‘Shock and Awe Option’ and pulls town vehicles.
He plays the ‘Hippocratic Oath Option’ and does nothing.
He plays the ‘Sword of Damocles Option’ and recommends the Select board form a Committee to take over the July 4’th Parade (merging with the Fireworks that the town now runs), either as early as this year or certainly the next.

Tune in tonight as I will attend the meeting not as a July 4’th Parade Committee member but as a Citizen Blogger.

All Hail Purple and White!

So yeah, I suppose when you have $1.7 Billion in reserves--$100 million of that coming in over the past six months from only two donors--you can afford to repaint other peoples property with your school colors.

A graduation tradition, I’m told, for the past thirty years, as this railroad underpass is less than a stone’s throw from Amherst College’s side entrance.

A Moon for the Misbegotten

High School Announcements?

Scheduled for the morning of 4/28 at (Only in) Amherst Regional High School:

"I pretend that because my dad is a minister, I CAN'T be gay. But then I can't keep my boyfriend." Frank Warren's PostSecret project invites people to write a secret on a postcard, decorate it, and return it to him anonymously. To observe this year's LGBT Pride Week, we are doing our own PostSecret project this week at ARHS. Please take an index card during lunch, decorate it, and write a secret about your personal relationship to LGBT issues and queer culture. We'll have details on where you can deposit your card tomorrow.

Of course this commercial doesn’t quite match the mid-January 'Morning Announcement':

* VAGINA! Vagina. Va. Gi. Na. Get used to saying it, because The Vagina Monologues is coming to the high school stage, Friday, February 15th! Mark your calendars, and get ready to become part of the worldwide phenomenon.

Now if they could just put these to music, we would have “High School Musical 3”. To Hell with Disney!

Patriots Day. (Yeah, even in Amherst)