And the winners are...

So for those of you eagerly wondering who won the great downhill “Cardboard Box Race” out at my favorite White Elephant, Black Hole, Money Pit—the municipally owned Cherry Hill Gold Course (oops, I mean Golf) on Saturday, check out the video.

The Kelley clan--Kira and Larry--smoked the competition (and an innocent young bystander too close to the Finish Line), including peacenik Select Board Chair, His Lordship Gerry Weiss and Town Manager Larry Shaffer’s stand in (or I should say sit in).



Weiss's peacemobile encountered a lot of drag. And why do I just know that if this event took place on December 8'th, 1941 we would have seen the same Spin.


Since it all happened so fast I had not realized until this morning (Monday) from the photo Cinda Jones just emailed that we were in last place coming out of the shute. But it ain't over until the Fat Lady sings. And about 10 seconds later they were eating our snow.

Just another Wimp Vagina Warrior

So the crusty Gazette Thursday morning published an Op/Ed piece from Men’s Resource Center Director (you know the Old Boys who retreat to the woods, huddle around a campfire, beating drums and crying about how Daddy never loved them) Rob Okun extolling the virtues (irony intended) of minors performing ‘The Vagina Monologues’, reprising their 2004 ignominy as the only High School in the nation to allow adolescents to revel in ‘R’ rated material.

Well, at least this time Mr. Okun didn’t criticize me by name as he did in 2004 in an NPR commentary: “Mr. Kelley's discomfort with the "C-word"--"I can't say it out loud," he told a school committee meeting last month--symbolizes men's discomfort with admitting how little we know about the dangerous world our mothers and daughters, wives and partners, sisters and nieces live in: a world where sexual harassment and sexual assault are commonplace.

Of course back then Mr. Okun, who appeared at the first School Committee meeting in 2004 to support the production, never managed to spit out the C-word. And thus far, I have not seen or heard Superintendent Hochman or Principal Jackson use it either.

And Mr. Okun never then or now explains how a Monologue where an adult serves a minor alcohol and then has sex with them leads to a decrease in domestic abuse. In this state, that IS domestic abuse.

Okun also fails to disclose and the Gazette editor failed to catch the conflict because his baby--‘The Men’s Resource Center’--is one of the do-gooder organizations that will receive a significant monetary contribution from this pernicious performance.

Only In The Happy Valley

Naturally Amherst was what my Professor wife calls a statistical outlier in the primary election by supporting Mr. Obama so overwhelmingly compared to winner (by a comfortable margin) Mrs. Clinton, with Northampton—also not surprising—a fairly close second.

Interestingly in both liberal enclaves McCain beat Romney handily. Democratic ballots cast in both municipalities outnumbered Republicans by almost 10-1.

So like the Marine withdrawal from the Chosin Reservoir, heavily outnumbered doesn’t mean outclassed.

Deja Vu all over again

Clinton 1,954, Obama 4,139 all others 128

In 1988 when almost every municipality in Massachusetts went with Mike Dukakis Amherst supported Jesse Jackson; so I guess it should come as no surprise that Obama beats Clinton by a 2-1 margin here in the People’s Republic, while Clinton wins Massachusetts--dubbed by the Republican winner Mitt Romney as “the most liberal state in the nation”. So if that's true, I wonder what that makes Amherst?

The People’s Republic Indeed

The almost impossible job of constructing new dwellings, what with current zoning/permitting in place, NIMBY’s just waiting to pounce, and the price of land in an almost built-out Amherst, will only worsen if everybody’s favorite do-gooder Vince O’Connor convinces fellow Comrades at Town Meeting come Spring.

Yesterday he filed a Zoning Petition Article (only needs ten signatures) that would require any new residential development to “provide affordable housing units,” and if it results in five or more would be “referred to the LSSE Director (recreation department) and Commission of the Town of Amherst for their recommendations regarding the nature, extent and maintenance requirements of such on-site recreational facilities as would be consistent with national or regional standards.”

Of course the developer can opt out of providing on-cite recreation by “the payment into a Town of Amherst Recreational Capital Fund of a $5,000 per unit development impact fee.” Hell, I would give prospective new homeowners a deal at the Amherst Athletic Club.

Supply and demand is the simplest rule in market economy. High demand, low supply equals inflated prices. Low demand, high supply equals bargain prices. Anytime you restrict supply (ironically by requiring “affordable” units) or drive up the overhead cost ($5,000 per unit recreation tax) you strangle supply.

And that’s precisely what the Treehuggers want (couldn’t help but notice Select man Rob Kusner signed the petition.)

Is Umass burning?

No, as of 10:45 PM things on campus--post Super Bowl--seem to be under control. Police have closed off Massachusetts Avenue leading down to Southwest High-rise dorms (scene of the previous worst Red Sox riots) and the side roads leading up to Southwest from University Drive. A state police helicopter hovers high overhead.

UPDATE: 5:45 AM. Well, mostly stayed under control:
7 arrested, group of 500 broken up , a ton of tax dollars consumed.

Get em' next year.

The Amherst Select board (known every else in the liberal state of Massachusetts as the “Board of Selectmen”) had another one of those emergency meetings Saturday to discuss, yet again, THE BUDGET.

His Lordship, Selectman Chair Gerry Weiss opened with a rambling diatribe attributing the current budget woes to that malevolent actor/Republican President Ronald Reagan. (You know, the guy who brought down the “Evil Empire”).

Seems His Lordship’s only concern in our upcoming $60+ MILLION operation budget is the overall one-tenth-of-one-percent $67,000 that Amherst (taxpayers) donates to private charities. And yes, we are the ONLY municipality in the state that does so.

Of course the good (Front Page) news is that the Property Tax Override is probably toast this year.

With current Town Reserves at $4.2 million and another $1 million in the Amherst Regional High School slush fund, it looks like the players will cut capital spending this coming year by almost $400,000 (about 10%) and take $500,000 from the Town Reserves to help cover most of the Elementary Schools $1.3 million gap

The Regional High School will simply dip into their ($1 million) reserves to cover the $300,000 shortfall. Or maybe they will schedule extra showings of ‘The Vagina Monologues’ to cover the difference.

Thus, hard-pressed taxpayers are safe for another year…barely.