A smile is just a frown turned upside down

So the bricks and mortar media gave the Town Manager’s Select board evaluation the old positive spin and missed the most interesting paragraph of the wordy two-page report card.

“Larry (Shaffer) has taken on the task of looking at the organization of every department and quickly made changes at Cherry Hill Golf Course, Town Counsel and the Veteran’s Services Department that have cut costs and improved services.”

Hmmm. So he “quickly made changes at Cherry Hill Golf course,” by
firing long-time superintendent Dan Engstrom (on St. Patty’s Day 2007, the day I started this Blog) for misusing a company credit card and taking up residence in the Clubhouse.

Yet seven months earlier on August 18, 2006 Shaffer wrote “The town is fortunate to have Dan Engstrom, Course Manager, to continue his expertise in maintaining of the of the highest quality public golf courses in Massachusetts.”

And his unfortunate firing of long-time, well-respected Town Council Alan Seewald sparked controversy; and now His Lordship Mr. Weiss seems to say our new advisor, Kopelman and Paige—the BIG BOX McDonald’s of the legal profession is “improved”?

If I were the former Town Attorney, I would suit for defamation of character.

Shaffer almost single handedly torpedoed the May 1’st tax Override by bluffing with Public Safety cuts he would never had implemented; and turning down the $30,000 per year offer to take the terminal Cherry Hill Golf Course off our hands.

And the current fiasco of charging a tax on every Christmas tree sold by Amherst/Pelham Boy Scouts is an astounding error demonstrating the Town Manager is clueless with culture.

Let’s hope the Select board gives him an appropriate Christmas bonus: a lump of coal.

"This is no drill!"

“I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.”
Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto




“With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounded determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt

UPDATE (Noon): University of Massachusetts @ Amherst REMEMBERS


NATURALLY the Town of Amherst FORGETS.

Say what?

Yeah, Only in Amherst would a town committee waste half the exposure provided by the most premier location in town. Fortunately Amherst needs a Human Rights Commission like Saudi Arabia needs snow plows.

Render unto Caesar…

After 60 years of tariff-free trade on a ritual that marks the transition into the Christmas season for generations of Amherst residents, the Grinch has finally gotten his due: $1 per tree.

Yes, Town Manager Larry Shaffer got mugged by Umass in the ‘Strategic Agreement’ and walked away from $30,000 in annual rent for a municipal golf course that will cost taxpayers that amount this year, but--by God--put him at the table with Boy Scouts of America and he takes no prisoners.

Operated entirely by volunteers, the Amherst Boy Scouts Christmas Tree Sale on Kendrick Park raises money for hometown Troops 500 and 504 to help offset scout related expenses, including scholarships for those who can’t afford the required summer camping.

So it’s not like this is a BIG business generating profits surreptitiously slipped in a back pocket, or applied towards a new Lexus.

The 40-50 Amherst and Pelham Boy Scouts do plenty of volunteer work for their merit badges including food collection for The Survival Center, clearing our extensive Conservation Trails, or helping distribute 3,000 candles on the first anniversary of 9/11.

And while a dollar may sound trivial on trees priced at $35 or $40, last year former Scout Master Bill Hart estimated the entire month-long endeavor generated between $4,000 and $6,000 in net profit. So Amherst’s cut of $775 in rent, amounts to a tax on “profits” of 13%!

Doing ones duty to God and country shouldn’t be so taxing.

Would you like fries with that?

So our illustrious Select board is concerned about charging Umass student promoters of a Pot Festival in Amherst town center for a police detail for, umm, crowd control but think nothing of charging the July 4’th Parade Committee for the same services?

The Parade is a shoestring operation exclusively relying on volunteers, so last years $1,100 tab for a police detail is significant chunk of our budget (as is insurance). But as a Parade organizer let me be quick to say I’m not complaining.

We actually get double bang for our thousand bucks as the detail we hire stand in busy intersections blocking off pre-parade traffic and then stay for the parade to do security (Only in Amherst do you worry about parade crashers at a July 4’th event) where they blend in well with the many police, fire and—God forbid—military units.

Of course, the only way police blend in at a pot rally is if they are under cover, dressed in grunge.

Last month during the World Series Amherst PD consumed $15,000 in overtime standing by in riot gear to assist Umass PD. And ever since his Lordship Gerry Weiss took a bow for orchestrating the Mutual Aid Pact, Amherst PD has provided all the aid.

Just because a “political” event is limited to the town common doesn’t mean hard pressed taxpayers should cover the tab. What if NAMBLA wanted to organize a pedophilia rally?

Mission Accomplished

Since the bricks and mortar media has a brief attention span and their one day romance with the BIG house move in Amherst is over, I thought you might like an update.

Day One: The garage made it half way up the hill and the house was resting comfortably at the bottom of the hill barely off the Main Street after crawling .75 miles from Kendrick Park.

Day Two: The garage makes it to the top of the hill but no foundation has been prepared so it sits there slightly off kilter. The house only slogs about 50 yards, making it halfway up hill (or halfway down if you’re a pessimist).

Day Three: The house has landed on its new foundation facing Gray Street. Welcome to the neighborhood! (Spoken like a true non-NIMBY)

Oh come all ye faithless

Okay, can we recall the house movers and have them drag the Pastorello’s house (photo below) in South Amherst up to town center to better represent Amherst this holiday season?

I’m embarrassed, ashamed, and yeah, pissed off! The Merry Maple (not to be confused with a Christmas Tree) is hardly Merry. The Umass Marching Band was awesome as usual (and MY GOD they even played Christian yuletide standards) . Santa arrived on the Fire Department’s GIGANTIC Ladder Truck, and that too was pretty awesome. But let’s face it, the lighting display in Amherst town center rivals that of North Korea.

Shame on the cheapskate Chamber of Commerce; and the People's Republic of Amherst. Whippletree Lane is the place to be:

From the Crusty Gazette 11/30/07 (Duh!):
Richard Pastorello said in some ways the large amount of lighting at their home makes up for the rest of Amherst, which tends to have fewer displays than other towns in which he has lived. But they will be paying for it, with the average electric bill rising from about $150 to $900 last December, and likely a bigger jump this year.

Richard Pastorello said the most money ever collected (for charity) was in 2001, when the display brought in $2,500. "Because this is the last time, our goal is to break that record," he said.

Come on folks, let's boycott town center until they come into the real (American) world, patronize Mr. Pastorello and break the record (set just after 9/11) for donations to a good cause.


Last Year's Merry Maple (the Grinch must stolen the colored lights this year) Photo borrowed from Inamherst.com

UPDATE (late Monday afternoon):So I went to the Jones Library in town center to give my daughter something to do and bumped into someone in the know. He said last year Banknorth (also located in town center) donated just over $3,000 for the light display--as apparently they had done for a number of years. This year they gave ZIP. Ouch! Pretty big hit to absorb all at once (the least they could have done was phased out the donation over a couple years). So there's another Grinch.