Ultimately Dead

So I can only hope this 'Night of the Living Dead' episode has come to its final conclusion--and the dead stay dead!

It s the old "supply and demand" routine and in this case, like the game of golf, too much supply and not enough demand. Coincidentally ˜Planet Fitness' in Hadley, the New Kids on the Block, just opened their doors (after signing people up for the last six months or so).

According to the Crusty Amherst Bulletin puff piece last October, they spent $1.1 million on renovations and equipment (no wonder it took them so long to finally open).

If you borrowed that amount your monthly payment would be around $10,000 so with those ridiculous $10/month memberships they need 1,000 clients just to cover that mortgage. Then there's rent for 15,000 square feet in a Mall (another 1,000-2,000 members required) salaries, utilities, advertising, insurance (easily another 2,000.) So yeah, if they draw 5,000 members--they got a shot.

Problem is of course ALL the remaining Health Clubs on this side of the river combined don't have a total membership adding up to that.

My original report

Follow Up clarrification

Bad Boys, Bad Boys: what ya going to do?

Damn, I love it when a Umass “Associate Vice Chancellor” gets all excited (non sexually of course)? And he even cites another Vice Chancellor Esther Terry (a “Dr.” no less--like those are rare in the People's Republic) who also seems pretty peeved about these damn sex posters. Furthermore, he even declares the “Chancellor of the institution” (whoever the hell that is) has directed the offending material “that has repeatedly appeared in the window of your shared office be removed permanently and immediately.”

Yikes! Can you imagine sharing an office with the Umass Radical Student Union? Lysol anyone???

UPDATE: Sunday, 3:00 pm. My man Tommy Devine is reporting on his gold standard Blog that the kiddies have once again caved and taken down the posters.
Now you see them now you don't. As I said before Milquetoast!

February 27, 2008
Radical Student Union
Members
Student Union Building

To the members of the Radical Student Union:

Please be advised that the Chancellor of the institution, as you have been duly informed, has directed that the Safe Sex Brochure that has repeatedly appeared in the window of your shared office be removed permanently and immediately.

I am open to discuss the ways in which opportunities exist for your group to promote its cause while removing the brochure from public view, particularly in a building that is often frequented by guests and particularly children and those who might be offended by its visual content. You can feel free to schedule an appointment with me through my Administrative Assistant, Ms. Barbara Paparazzo, in Room 416 of the Student Union Building at your earliest convenience.

Please note that I have been advised by the Vice Chancellor for Student Life, Dr. Esther Terry, that if the brochure continues to be posted in visible proximity of the public walkways of this building, that further disciplinary action may be taken collectively or individually against members of your organization. Furthermore, you stand to loose the privilege of occupying university space in the future if this action should continue.

Sincerely,
Byron Bullock
Associate Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs & Campus Life

cc: Dr.Esther Terry
Shaun Jameson

Reactions

Hell, I think the comments are more interesting than Friday's Gazette story on the July 4 Parade disaster in the making. Look for the Springfield Republican to follow up the next day or two. Naturally the Town Manager got out of Dodge (hiding in the Barbados) for the next two weeks so the Springfield Republican probably will not be able to quote him. But I do have his cell phone number. Hmmm....


Cave Man's Girl [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 12:34 PM]
It is amazing what they will drag out to make their point. Like, yeah, OK, good thing we set up rules that will exclude the major KKK presence we have here in Amherst. Good Lord, get real.

Larry Kelley [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 02:47 PM]
There is also not a very high presence of KKK in South Boston Ms. Cave Man's Girl (I hope you're keeping Mr. Cave Man happy) but that did not stop them from requesting to march in the St. Patrick's Day Parade in the early 90's That was, of course DENIED, as was the Irish gay group that wanted to march (and I believe an abortion group either pro or anti I can't remember which). And the Supreme Court (you know who they are) ruled 9-0 that the Parade committee could do so because of THEIR First Amendment rights. And as for NAMBLA, you have to wonder if maybe FORMER Amherst Regional High School (you know, your alma mater) English teacher Ronald T. Garney was a member or not.

John [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 08:05 AM]
I can see the headlines now. Amherst Town Manager refuses to allow Firefighters and Police Officers to be honored on July 4th. Meanwhile towns people vote to reduce public safety in order to fund private agencies. This is how it will read outside of Amherst and the town which already is thought of as out of touch with reality will be made to look even more foolish. As for Larry Shaffer, it will just be another headline that he so craves.

Nancy Slator [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 08:22 AM]
How does it celebrate freedom to hold a parade that only allows people of one political view to particiapate?

Larry Kelley [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 09:06 AM]
That's precisely the point Nancy: the Parade doesn't have a "political view." Obviously you do.

Matthias [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 07:05 PM]
The people of Amherst clearly have way too much free time on their hands. Why can't they have a simple 4th of July parade without turning it into a circus. Fourth celebrations are intended to honor our country and the great men and women who serve. Can't protests take place the other 364 days of the year. Or are the anti-war crowd such incorrigible attention mongers.

BC [ Posted on: Friday - February 29, 2008 at 03:46 PM]
If they want "Everyone" then it'd be nice for Westboro Baptist to show up wouldn't it. That'd be exactly the type of participation the town wants, right? What they really mean is they want all the PC protesters to hijack the parade, and nothing else.

Disturbing

So this has thus far been an interesting week—as in the Chinese curse “may you live in interesting times.”

On Monday I learned about a meeting (that we were not invited to) between three political groups who have all made individual bombing runs at the July 4’th Parade and failed to do any damage but now they’ve combined forces and want the Town Manager to implement the nuclear option—pulling town vehicles this year and taking over the Parade next year.

Then on Tuesday, I return to my Club at noon (having opened at 5:35 am until 10:00 am) and discover a portable electric heater in the downstairs aerobics room had been carefully placed face down directly on a wood floor with a layer of paper towels in between. Yikes!

Also on Tuesday morning my post ‘Umass Tiananmen Square?” just completely disappeared without a trace. Blogger guru Tommy Devine asked if I always sign out from blogger because that leaves a half-hour window for a hacker to get in. Naturally I never sign out (until now of course).

And today I get an email from another computer guru in Amherst saying Comcast is censoring this humble blog from emails within the Comcast system.

So if you are a Comcast customer (which I am, but I use my AOL account for email) and you make the mistake of using the term http:://onlyintherepublicofamherst.blogspot.com in an email to a friend, it will end up in the cyber incinerator.

Strangely enough for a blog about Amherst only half my readers are from the People’s Republic but, of those, the vast majority are Comcast customers.

And I just now picked up a copy of the ultra-crusty Amherst Bulletin and discovered that instead of 2 ads for this blog and 3 for my Athletic Club I got 4 blog ads and only 1 for my Club.

So now the next time I get into a firefight with a pimple faced 17-year-old, they will say I should spend more time on my business and less time and money on this…whatever the Hell you call this.

Patriotic Pyrotechnics

The July 4’th Parade Committee has made it crystal clear from inception that we are a non-profit, non-political, family-oriented event with a Mission Statement to honor our Guardian Angels—Police/Fire/EMT and yes, Military.

The Supreme Court decided unanimously (overturning a Massachusetts Court)--precisely because of the First Amendment--we can exclude marchers carrying signs that circumvent our Mission Statement.

If The People’s Republic of Amherst steals the July 4'th Parade then they would have to allow the KKK, NAMBLA, and the Hells Angels to march, or ride as the case may be.

If I purchase a full-page ad in the local newspaper to say “Happy Birthday America” on July 4’th, I don’t expect somebody to demand part of my ad-space for their anti-war statement. They can buy their own ad.

And if war protesters (or supporters for that matter) want to march, they can finance their own Parade. Only in Amherst would government nationalize something private citizens have worked hard to build.

Maybe Fidel Castro should retire to Amherst.

UPDATE: 4:222 PM So, yeah the Town Manager has called Kevin since this post went up and left a very short message to call him back. But I do have on my Mac another recording from yesterday when he left a second message (apparently not knowing that it is perfectly legal to post messages left on answering machines), so stay tuned.

UPDATE: 7:17 PM Well, the Crusty Gazette is on it! Kevin and I both did interviews late this afternoon and we could tell from the reporter's questions (after interviewing Shaffer) that he's not overly pleased (Shaffer not the reporter) and is trying to portray us as the troublemakers who love to pick a fight.

But this came out of the blue, whereby a fringe group of malcontents banded together and finagled a meeting with Shaffer to purposely and with malice sabotage the Parade. And we were not invited to the meeting.

So in the next few days the Parade Committee will get a formal request in the mail to allow Mary Wentworth to march in the Parade carrying a "F_ck Bush" sign and we will deny the request and the town will pull their equipment. Only in Amherst.

Umass Tiananmen Square?

Okay so somehow yesterday’s post disappeared. I’ll have a barnburner later this morning.I think it went something like this:

The Umass Radical Union must not have liked my calling them milquetoast. On Monday they reposted in a public space their how-to sex posters in defiance of Umass authorities who took them down on Friday. Yeah, as the posters say “safe sex can be fun.”

Story Goes National

Amherst 7/4 Parade Fireworks

What would the Amherst July 4’th Parade be like without Amherst police, fire or ambulance apparatus in the line of march? An embarrassment!

There they go again! The Amherst Town Democratic Committee “corralled” like-minded activist groups to meet with Amherst Town Manager Larry Shaffer to discuss pulling town equipment from the Parade because we will not open it up to anyone and anything looking for exposure on that day. And yes, we pay for our Police detail to direct traffic (unlike the Pot Rally folks)

http://www.amherstdemocrats.org/
Old Business:

Private Amherst 4th of July Parade: Being fond of our 1st Amendment rights, ADTC has refrained for 2 years from participating.

On 2 days' notice, Town Mgr. Larry Schaffer carved out time for an open meeting on Friday, 21 Feb., with ADTC Chair Harry Brooks; the Chairs of the Green & Republican Town Committees; League of Women Voters; & SAGE, to consider concerns that many of us share.

More on this patriotic/matriotic effort later.

From: AmherstAC@aol.com
Sent: Monday, February 25, 2008 12:24 PM
To: Shaffer, Larry
Subject: 7/4 Parade

Larry,
If Amherst is going to pull police and fire apparatus from the Parade this year we would appreciate a heads up as early as possible. And we would also have appreciated an invite to the "open meeting" last Friday morning that you carved out time for on only two days notice.
Larry Kelley
July 4'th Parade Committee


From: Shaffer, Larry
To: AmherstAC@aol.com
Sent: Mon, 25 Feb 2008 1:31 pm
Subject: RE: 7/4 Parade

Larry,
We should talk. Have you rejected any applications for perspective participants in the 4th of July parade for 2008?
Larry

From: amherstac@aol.com
To: ShafferL@amherstma.gov
Sent: Mon, 25 Feb 2008 1:58 pm
Subject: Re: 7/4 Parade

Larry,
No, we have not. And in fact, we have never officially rejected anybody since reconstituting the Parade in 2002.
Larry