One American's response to Osama Big Laudanum

Anytime, anyplace you despicable, vain coward. No AK-47's, no blades, no grenades. Just us two: mano e mano. Your cave or mine.

Evel Knievel rides again!

As usual, the glitch with anything relating to transportation in Amherst rests with Select Man Rob Kusner. He pressured the DPW into abandoning the normal installation specifications for the “speed cushions” on Lincoln Avenue out of concern for cyclist.

Well, as you can see, that concern was ill founded. But it also has to make you wonder: if a 19 pound bike can deal with these obstacles at 25 mph then multi-thousand pound vehicles will not be overly impressed.

And the bumper sticker campaign is a tad wordy and whimpy: “Drive slowly to respect Amherst neighborhoods”. How about the more declarative: “Drive fast and die!”

(Easily) Running the Lincoln Ave Gauntlet

If you consider 45 mph calm then the new traffic cushions on Lincoln Avenue work great…but somehow I don’t think that’s what Phil Jackson and neighbors have in mind.

Tomorrow I officially become a “soccer Dad” (ugh) so naturally for the occasion we purchased a new Town and Country mini-van. So maybe it has the same axle width of a fire truck (but somehow I doubt it) in order to straddle the speed cushions as easily as I just did.

But I also witnessed some small sedans and compacts straddle the bumps as well. Can we get our money back?

What are they afraid of?

Did they worry I would stage something symbolic: arrive bearing American flags or perhaps wearing a parody T-shirt (the pirate flag over town hall) or just that I would feel compelled to mention that Monday, September 10’th marks the sixth anniversary of the Select Board’s ill-timed decision to restrict the display of 29 commemorative flags in our Rockwellian downtown?

Wednesday morning I noticed a Select Board meeting posted for that night. So I emailed Katy and was told it had been cancelled. I had forgotten that because of my Open Meeting Law complaint the Select Board now posts the Zoning Meetings they wish to crash (and two did last night--but that’s one shy of a quorum).

So then I requested time for the next available routine meeting of the Select Board that just happens, coincidentally enough, to be the evening of September 10—The Eve of Destruction.

A Umass Physics Professor once tabulated everyone who spoke during an entire Town Meeting ten years or so ago. And yes, I came in #1 for number of times speaking BUT I also came in #1 for least amount of time, on average, per speech. Vince O’Connor, not surprisingly, came in as the most longwinded.

I’m brief and to the point. It would have taken me less than three minutes (standard time allowed on the floor of Town Meeting and recently suggested quota for Select Board public discussions) to press my case for declaring this busy intersection in South Amherst a School Zone.

But then, that would have left me an extra minute or so, at an open microphone, on live TV, on an auspicious anniversary. Hmmm…


In a message dated 9/5/07 9:44:52 AM, Amherst AC writes:
Hey Kate,

Can I get on the agenda for September 10'th to talk about making Pomeroy Lane intersection with Rt. 116 a School Zone so the DPW can paint a crosswalk and put up a "school zone" sign???
Larry

From: Seaman, Katherine
To: AmherstAC@aol.com
Cc: gerryweiss@comcast.net; Manager, Town
Sent: Wed, 5 Sep 2007 12:00 pm
Subject: Agenda Request

Hi Larry,

Your item will be heard at the September 17, 2007 Select Board meeting; more information about times, etc will follow. If you have any questions, please contact Gerry Weiss, or Laurence Shaffer.

Thank you!
~Kate

Ask and you shall receive!

The DPW gremlins were busy last night! Thanks guys (and gals)!

Yet another Amherst DPW request

Now that the Groff Park Comfort Station is, finally, done and all the potholes have been filled and the $8,000 Ski Jumps, errr, I mean Speed Cushions have been deployed on Lincoln Avenue...



can we get a Crosswalk, School Zone signs and maybe a flashing yellow light down here in South Amherst at the bustling intersection now home to three schools?

The Pioneer Valley Chinese Immersion Charter School has to cross the street to get to their recreation/recess space (sometimes twice per day), and some parents also cross the same busy street on drop off or pick up.



I’ll be happy to paint the crosswalk myself but as you can see from yesterday’s upload, construction projects are not my forte.

Why they call it Labor Day

Okay, so I didn’t spend Labor Day cleaning up my office (God knows it could use it, however). But I did spend a few hours repairing the wood floor in the cavernous downstairs Aerobic Room.

We installed about 600 square feet (who needs professionals right?)to the existing 1,200 square feet six months ago and five or six feet buckled (earthquake perhaps). But now that the Chinese Immersion Charter School uses the room for Physical Education, I want it to be perfect.

Or as those famous House builders would say: “close enough for South Amherst.”