We're #1

 Amherst's new them song:  "Where have all the hippies gone?"

So this is certainly not the kind of Internet poll result you will see our Chamber of Commerce, Business Improvement District or UMass Office of News & Media Relations proudly hype in a press release.

But, considering the source, maybe they should.

Internet troll and anonymous provocateur Turtle Boy Sports named us #1 on the list of his (obviously he's a he)  "Top Ten Hippie Towns in Massachusetts Where Turtle Boy Would Lose His Mind"

Not that he has much of a mind to begin with.  But hey, at least he can count to ten.

First of all Amherst has the lowest median age in the state, with 58% of our population comprised of "college aged youth."  The "hippie" demographic died off a while ago.

These days we have more homeless hanging out in town center than we do hippies.

In other words the Vietnam war is l-o-n-g over.  And Turtle Boy should know that since he -- like Barstool Sports -- revels in bad boy, party hardy, rowdy student behavior.

If immaturity was a good thing, Turtle Boy would be a saint. 

But that's kind of the modus operandi for Turtle Boy:  Cite a cliche or two, add a pinch of snark and a few lousy photos and voilà, you have a listicle "story."  Now bring on the hits. 

Funny thing is in his "takedown" of little old me last spring he clearly says, "Downtown Amherst has tons of cool shops, restaurants, and bars, none of which would exist were it not for the fact that 20,000 carpetbaggers live there in three out of the four seasons."

And he even closed with, "it’s actually got a nice downtown area with tons of nice looking things."

But that's Turtle Boy: spew so much verbiage that you soon forget what you have said in the past.  And he's too lazy to bother with a simple Google search -- even of his own website.

And w-a-y too cowardly to stand by his opinions under his own name.